Both of her parents are private investigators, but father Rick is also a country guitarist and songwriter. Lambert became seriously interested in country music after attending a Garth Brooks concert as a young girl, and soon began singing in talent contests under the tutelage of her father.
At 16, Miranda began appearing on the Johnny High Country Music Review in Arlington, Texas, the same show that helped launch the career of LeAnn Rimes. Miranda quickly landed a recording session in Nashville, but left the studio in tears after she became frustrated with the "pop" sound of music that was not her own. Upon returning to Texas, Miranda began writing songs and taking guitar lessons from her father.
When Miranda's aptitude for music became apparent, her parents encouraged her to aggressively pursue singing and acting opportunities. While still a high school student, Miranda made her professional singing debut and fronted the house band at the Reo Palm Isle Ballroom in Longview, Texas, a long-running venue that has showcased Elvis Presley and Willie Nelson.
Foregoing college, Miranda performed throughout Texas in 2001 and 2002. She finished first in the Texas auditions for Nashville Star and eventually placed third on the national competition.
Discography
On September 15, 2003, she signed with Sony records. She has since released three studio albums, 2005's Kerosene, 2007's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, 2009's Revolution and 2011's Four The Record; all four of which debuted at #1 on the U.S. Billboard Top Country Albums chart. Kerosene,Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Revolution have been certified Platinum by the RIAA.
Miranda Lambert has release a total of fourteen singles, which includes five Top 20 hits; of these, Kerosene and Gunpowder & Lead have been certified Gold singles by the RIAA.
Awards and Critical Acclaim
In 2005, at the 40th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas, Miranda won the Cover Girl Fresh Face of Country Music Award. In 2005, she was also nominated for the Country Music Association's Horizon Award and performed "Kerosene". Nashville Scene named Kerosene one of the best albums of 2005
Miranda was nominated for and won the "Album of the Year" award at the 2008 Academy of Country Music Awards for her latest album Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
Way Too Pretty for Prison
Miranda Lambert Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Lunch trays don't come with Chardonnay
The bars there ain't got boys to buy us drinks
We'd stick out like two bottled blondes
I must admit it don't sound fun
For fifteen girls to have to share one sink
He cheated, he's a villain
But we're way too pretty for prison
Hard time ain't our kind of livin'
And I don't want to talk about
The way those jumpsuits wash us out
We're way too pretty for prison
Antifreeze and Gatorade
Arsenic in his lemonade
Takes just one snip to bleed his brakes
But we ain't gonna do it (She ain't gonna do it)
Yeah, we've been watching too much TV
You ain't Thelma, I ain't Louise
But if we ask 'em they'd both agree
We should put him through it (Don't put him through it)
He cheated, he's a villain
So let's hire somebody to kill him
'Cause we're way too pretty for prison
Yeah, hard time ain't our kind of livin'
And I don't want to talk about
The way those jumpsuits wash us out
We're way too pretty for prison
La, da, di, da, da, da (la, da, di, da, da, da)
La, da, di, da, da, da (la, da, di, da, da, da)
La, da, di, da, da, la da, di, da, da, la da, di, da, da, da
Well, the state won't pay for lash extensions
No Sun Tan City, not to mention
That lack of waxing situation
Oh, no
'Cause we're way too pretty for prison
Hard time ain't our kind of livin', no
And I don't want to talk about
The way those jumpsuits wash us out
We're way too pretty for prison
La, da, di, da, da, da (la, da, di, da, da, da)
La, da, di, da, da, da (la, da, di, da, da, da)
La, da, di, da, da, la da, di, da, da, la da, di, da, da, da
La, da, di, da, da, da
La, da, di, da, da, da
La, da, di, da, da, la da, di, da, da, la da, di, da, da, da
The song "Way Too Pretty for Prison" by Miranda Lambert humorously tells the story of two women who are considering murder as a solution to their cheating partners' infidelity but ultimately decide that they are too pretty for prison. The lyrics are filled with amusing details about what they would miss if they were incarcerated, such as rhinestone ball and chains, Chardonnay with lunch, and lash extensions. The women acknowledge that they have been influenced by watching too much TV, referencing the movie "Thelma and Louise," in which two women on the run from the law become outlaws.
The first verse sets the scene by contrasting the shiny, glamorous things associated with beauty (rhinestones, Chardonnay) with the drab, institutionalized reality of prison (shared sinks, no boys to buy drinks). The second verse presents the desperate measures the women have considered taking to get revenge on their cheating partners (using antifreeze, arsenic, or tampering with brakes). However, in the end, they decide that they are not ruthless enough to go through with murder and would rather hire someone else to do the dirty work. The chorus repeatedly emphasizes that they are too pretty for prison, and the last verse adds to that idea by listing all the beauty treatments and grooming habits they would be deprived of behind bars.
Overall, the song is a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the stereotypical idea that women are delicate and pretty things that cannot handle life's challenges, especially those that require criminal behavior. The humor comes from the absurdity of the situation, as two women debate murdering their partners while commenting on the lack of cosmetic procedures in prison. It also turns the tables on the usual narratives of men being tough and domineering, showing that women can be just as ruthless and calculating when it comes to protecting themselves and their dignity.
Line by Line Meaning
They don't have rhinestone ball and chains
Prison is not as glamorous as we think and it is nothing like the way it is shown in movies or TV shows.
Lunch trays don't come with Chardonnay
Prison food is plain and simple, and alcoholic beverages do not come with meals.
The bars there ain't got boys to buy us drinks
Prison bars are not like regular bars, and there will be no men buying drinks for us.
We'd stick out like two bottled blondes
Being different from the crowd in prison can lead to problems, and being blonde will make them stand out even more.
I must admit it don't sound fun
The idea of ending up in prison is not at all appealing, and it is something we should avoid at all costs.
For fifteen girls to have to share one sink
The living conditions in prison are not good, and having to share one sink between fifteen girls will not be easy.
He cheated, he's a villain
The person in question has committed a heinous crime by cheating, and he is not to be trusted.
And you know I'd help you kill him
The artist is willing to go to great lengths to help her friend get revenge, but she is not willing to go to prison for it.
But we're way too pretty for prison
They are not willing to give up their good looks and glamorous lifestyle and would rather avoid prison at any cost.
Hard time ain't our kind of livin'
Adjusting to the harsh prison life is not something that they are capable of, and it is not the kind of life they want to lead.
And I don't want to talk about
The singer does not want to discuss the possibility of getting caught and sent to prison.
The way those jumpsuits wash us out
Prison uniforms are dull and unflattering and would make them look unattractive and ordinary.
Antifreeze and Gatorade
They have thought of ways to harm the person in question, but these methods are both impractical and potentially incriminating.
Arsenic in his lemonade
The singer has thought of using poison to harm the person, but this too is not a viable option as it could be easily traced back to them.
Takes just one snip to bleed his brakes
They have considered tampering with the person's car, but this is also not practical and could be dangerous.
But we ain't gonna do it (She ain't gonna do it)
They ultimately decide against committing a crime and would rather let the justice system handle it even if it means he might not get the punishment they think he deserves.
Yeah, we've been watching too much TV
Their ideas of revenge are based on popular culture and are not practical or legal.
You ain't Thelma, I ain't Louise
They are not characters from a movie and would have to deal with the consequences of their actions in the real world.
But if we ask 'em they'd both agree
Even the fictional characters Thelma and Louise would advise against taking the law into their own hands.
We should put him through it (Don't put him through it)
Even though they have considered taking revenge, the person in question should go through the legal system rather than resorting to vigilante justice.
'Cause we're way too pretty for prison
The artist emphasizes the fact that they are high-maintenance and not suited to the harsh conditions of prison.
Well, the state won't pay for lash extensions
The artist notes that they would not have access to their usual beauty treatments in prison.
No Sun Tan City, not to mention
In prison, they would not have access to tanning beds, as well as many other luxuries that they have grown accustomed to.
That lack of waxing situation
The artist notes that they would not have access to personal grooming services and would have to do without certain luxuries.
La, da, di, da, da, da (la, da, di, da, da, da)
The singer uses a nonsensical phrase to emphasize the idea that the harsh conditions of prison are not something they are willing to deal with.
La, da, di, da, da, da (la, da, di, da, da, da)
The singer repeats the phrase for emphasis.
La, da, di, da, da, la da, di, da, da, la da, di, da, da, da
The singer continues to use the nonsensical phrase to emphasize their reluctance to embrace prison life.
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Hillary Lindsey, Liz Rose, Lori Mckenna, Miranda Lambert, Lliz Rose
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Jacob Furlong
I come to check out every single that Miranda drops . It’s like wine it gets better with age!
Marie
Great expression
Melissa A
Miranda is my spirit sister! She killed it with this one!!! ♥️♥️
Blessed Me
The dislikes are from those who are willing to risk it. 🤣😅
You are truly outstanding, Miranda.💙💚💜💖🌟 One beautifully “flawed” gem.💎
Jeanie Thompson
Rikki Reed No, they can't seem to stay away.....Just too damn interested in our badass Miranda. Let them continue dreaming! How can we blame them?
Hans Nordlander
Great song Miranda. You are the best female country singer by far.
Katie Walden
Hell yeah she's as good as Reba!!!
Ashley Kruep
I really just want to be her friend! I relate to her music, I literally tell myself (for various reasons) that jumpsuits aren't a good look for me every day. I'm gonna add this to my karaoke line-up!
2stand4him
Came across this one last night, played until 3:00 Am this morning. My husband was shaking in his boots! 😂
Thanks ML💜
anne greenwood
another home run love the lyrics she never disappoints