Where's The Dress
Moe Bandy & Joe Stampley Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
It was a man dressed like a woman, and he had a boy′s name.
Well, I heard it on the radio, while I was in the tub.
Now Joe, what in the world is this thing they call the Culture Club?
Well it's some old boy from England, Moe,
And he′s making a million bucks.
Joe, we'll never make a million . . . driving these old trucks.
Too many nights of drinking, losing football bets,
Where′s the dress? Give me them high-heeled shoes!
Where′s the dress? We'll be money-making fools.
We might close the bars down, and cause a few arrests,
But if it makes some money, tell me where′s the dress.
Well, I'll hire me a nurse to tote my purse
And I′ll keep it full of beer.
Yeah, and I'll have a girl to drive my truck
And one to tease my hair.
We can still go fishing, wear our old blue jeans;
But when it comes to showtime, we′ll be country queens . . .
REPEAT (Where's the dress?)
Now Moe, let's get on down to the store
And get some lipstick and some rouge.
(Where′s the dress?)
Hey Joe, why don′t we do this thing up right
And get some of them ostrich plumes?
(Where's the dress?)
You know, I was wondering if they made
A pink pump in size 12, Moe?
(Where′s the dress?)
You don't think that old boy from England
Shaves his legs, do you Joe?
(Where′s the dress?)
Well I don't know but it would take a *butcher*
To cut the hair off our legs, Moe
(Where′s the dress?)
Well I can see it now, Boy Moe,
Boy Joe and the Grand Old Opry
(Where's the dress?)
Uh-uh Moe, I don't think ol′ Roy would like
That at all, uh-uh, no, no way, Moe
(Where′s the dress?)
I can't wait to see you Joe in one
Of them Cross Your Heart brassieres, yeah
(Where′s the dress?)
I'll tell you what, Moe, you′re gonna
Look good in them pink pantyhose
The song "Where's The Dress" by Moe Bandy & Joe Stampley is a light-hearted and comical take on the emerging trend of crossdressing and the popularity of the pop group Culture Club in the 1980s. The lyrics are a conversation between two men, Moe and Joe, who are shocked and bemused by the sight of a man dressed as a woman on TV. The song is a playful commentary on the changing social norms and explores the idea that gender is fluid and can be performed.
The first verse opens with Moe expressing his shock at seeing a man dressed as a woman on TV, and Joe explaining that it is a man from England who is making a lot of money. The second verse has Joe explaining that the man is from a group called Culture Club, which Moe has never heard of before. The chorus of the song is a playful plea for the duo to get in on the action and make some money by crossdressing themselves. They talk about hiring a nurse to carry their purse, a girl to drive their truck and tease their hair, and getting lipstick, rouge, and pink pantyhose to complete the look.
Line by Line Meaning
Moe, I saw it on the TV, and I thought it was a shame.
Moe, I saw a man dressed like a woman on TV and felt disapproving.
It was a man dressed like a woman, and he had a boy's name.
The person on TV was not a woman but a man who identifies as female.
Well, I heard it on the radio, while I was in the tub.
I heard about the Culture Club while I was having a bath.
Now Joe, what in the world is this thing they call the Culture Club?
Joe, have you any knowledge of the Culture Club?
Well, it's some old boy from England, Moe, and he's making a million bucks.
It is apparent that Culture Club is a group from England that earns a lot of money.
Joe, we'll never make a million . . . driving these old trucks.
We are truckers and can't generate as much income as Culture Club.
Too many nights of drinking, losing football bets, lately we'd do anything to get us out of debt . . .
We are in financial strife and desperate to get out of it after numerous bad decisions.
Where's the dress? Give me them high-heeled shoes!
We require feminine clothing to get us out of the financial situation.
Where's the dress? We'll be money-making fools.
We are willing to don feminine clothing to make money.
We might close the bars down, and cause a few arrests, but if it makes some money, tell me where's the dress.
We are willing to take risks and cause trouble in the pursuit of money, so long as we have the necessary clothing.
Well, I'll hire me a nurse to tote my purse and I'll keep it full of beer.
I will hire a nurse to carry my belongings and always make sure my beer is full.
Yeah, and I'll have a girl to drive my truck and one to tease my hair.
I will hire women to do stereotypically masculine tasks and feminine tasks respectively.
We can still go fishing, wear our old blue jeans; But when it comes to showtime, we'll be country queens...
We can still be ourselves in private, but for public performances, we will don women's clothing.
Now Moe, let's get on down to the store and get some lipstick and some rouge.
Moe, let's go buy some make-up.
Hey Joe, why don't we do this thing up right and get some of them ostrich plumes?
Joe, to make a proper impression, we should also buy ostrich plumes.
You know, I was wondering if they made a pink pump in size 12, Moe?
I am wondering if I can get pink pumps in a size 12.
You don't think that old boy from England shaves his legs, do you Joe?
Do you think the people from Culture Club shave their legs?
Well, I don't know but it would take a *butcher* to cut the hair off our legs, Moe.
It would be difficult to shave our hairy legs even with the sharpest of razors.
Well, I can see it now, Boy Moe, Boy Joe and the Grand Old Opry
I can imagine us, Moe and Joe, performing at the Grand Old Opry.
Uh-uh Moe, I don't think ol' Roy would like that at all, uh-uh, no, no way, Moe
However, Roy would disapprove of us performing in feminine clothing.
I can't wait to see you Joe in one of them Cross Your Heart brassieres, yeah
I am looking forward to seeing Joe in a Cross Your Heart bra.
I'll tell you what, Moe, you're gonna look good in them pink pantyhose.
Moe, you are going to look great in pink pantyhose.
Writer(s): T. Stampley, B. Lindsey, G. Cummings
Contributed by Leah S. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@garrettwolf8366
Moe, I saw it on the TV, and
I thought it was a shame.
It was a man dressed like a
woman, and he had a boy's name.
Well, I heard it on the radio,
while I was in the tub.
Now Joe, what in the world is this
thing they call the Culture Club?
Well it's some old boy
from England, Moe,
And he's making a million bucks.
Joe, we'll never make a million
. . . driving these old trucks.
Too many nights of drinking,
losing football bets,
Lately we'd do anything to
get us out of debt . . .
Where's the dress?
Give me them high-heeled shoes!
Where's the dress? We'll
be money-making fools.
We might close the bars down,
and cause a few arrests,
But if it makes some money,
tell me where's the dress.
Well, I'll hire me a
nurse to tote my purse
And I'll keep it full of beer.
Yeah, and I'll have a
girl to drive my truck
And one to tease my hair.
We can still go fishing,
wear our old blue jeans;
But when it comes to showtime,
we'll be country queens . . .
Where's the dress?
Give me them high-heeled shoes!
Where's the dress? We'll
be money-making fools.
We might close the bars down,
and cause a few arrests,
But if it makes some money,
tell me where's the dress.
Where's the dress?
Now Moe, let's get on down to the store
and get some lipstick and some rouge.
Where's the dress?
Hey Joe, why don't we
do this thing up right
and get some of them ostrich plumes?
Where's the dress?
You know, I was wondering if they made
a pink pump in size 12, Moe?
Where's the dress?
You don't think that
old boy from England
shaves his legs, do you Joe?
Where's the dress?
Well I don't know but it
would take a brush hog
to cut the hair off our legs, Moe
Where's the dress?
Well I can see it now, Boy Moe,
Boy Joe and the Grand Old Opry
Where's the dress?
Uh-uh Moe, I don't think
ol' Roy would like
that at all, uh-uh, no, no way, Moe
Where's the dress?
I can't wait to see you Joe in one
of them Cross Your
Heart brassieres, yeah
Where's the dress?
I'll tell you what, Moe, you're gonna
look good in them pink pantyhose
@Thomas-un2hn
This is hilarious I don't care who you are 😂😂😂
@joyceconroy9870
Love these too. Joe Stampley sang rock and roll in the mid 60's with a group called the Uniques. I actually met Boy George and he was one of the nicest performers.
@charlespeterwatson9051
This is the revised version. The original version used the guitar riff as "Karma Chameleon", which was what may have gotten them sued.
@garylindsey5174
I thought it was "Wears a Dress"🤷♂️
@stephanielynnsalthouse3354
Love This Tune
@jillbaran7251
Love Joe & Moe
@donaldmerriweather8718
Miss the old days
@christinahoilman-rd4uv
Oh my goodness
@gregfornash1167
Great classic
@murraymanz741
Good to hear it again.