Australian Table Wines
Monty Python Lyrics


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Good evening! For the first time, on record, a 29 part adoptation of King Solomon's Mines -- Wines, sorry, wines -- King Solomon's Wines.

A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a pity, as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palette, but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.

"Black Stump Bordeaux" is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good "Sydney Syrup" can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines.

"Chateau Bleu", too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn.
"Old Smokey, 1968" has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian wino society thouroughly recommends a 1970 "Coq du Rod Laver", which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: 8 bottles of this, and you're really finished -- at the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is "Perth Pink". This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is BEWARE!. This is not a wine for drinking -- this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

Another good fighting wine is "Melbourne Old-and-Yellow", which is particularly heavy, and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.

Quite the reverse is true of "Chateau Chunder", which is an Appelachian controle, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation -- a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends.





Real emetic fans will also go for a "Hobart Muddy", and a prize winning "Cuiver Reserve Chateau Bottled Nuit San Wogga Wogga", which has a bouquet like an aborigine armpit.

Overall Meaning

The song "Australian Table Wines" by Monty Python is a satirical take on the quality of Australian wines, which are often overlooked and dismissed as inferior by many people. The introduction of the song announces a 29-part adaptation of "King Solomon's Mines," but quickly corrects itself to "King Solomon's Wines."


The lyrics of the song describe various Australian wines and their supposed qualities, often in a humorous and ironic manner. For example, "Black Stump Bordeaux" is praised as a peppermint-flavored Burgundy, while "Sydney Syrup" is said to be on par with the world's best sugary wines. "Chateau Bleu" is also lauded for its taste and lingering afterburn.


However, the song also mocks some of the more bizarre names and supposed characteristics of Australian wines. "Perth Pink" is described as a bottle with a warning message and not for drinking, while "Melbourne Old-and-Yellow" is said to be so heavy that it should only be used for hand-to-hand combat. "Chateau Chunder" is an Appalachian control that supposedly induces vomiting, while "Hobart Muddy" has a name and bouquet that are less than appetizing.


Line by Line Meaning

Good evening! For the first time, on record, a 29 part adoptation of King Solomon's Mines -- Wines, sorry, wines -- King Solomon's Wines.
Introducing a record-breaking 29 part adaptation of King Solomon's Wines with a little correction in the title.


"Black Stump Bordeaux" is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good "Sydney Syrup" can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines.
Although many people disregard Australian table wines, "Black Stump Bordeaux" and "Sydney Syrup" are both exceptional wines that have been acknowledged globally for their unique and remarkable taste.


"Chateau Bleu", too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn.
Expanding upon the exceptional Australian table wines, "Chateau Bleu" has garnered recognition and appreciation for its refined flavor and robust aftertaste.


"Old Smokey, 1968" has been compared favorably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian wino society thoroughly recommends a 1970 "Coq du Rod Laver", which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: 8 bottles of this, and you're really finished -- at the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.
Continuing with the list of unique and potent Australian wines, "Old Smokey, 1968" has earned recognition as a Welsh claret substitute while the 1970 "Coq du Rod Laver" is known to be as potent as a mule's kick; drinking eight bottles means it's game over. At the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were repeatedly found in the main sewers every half an hour.


Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is "Perth Pink". This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is BEWARE!. This is not a wine for drinking -- this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.
The famous sparkling wine, "Perth Pink" carries a message, and it is a warning! Drinking this bottle is not recommended, and it should be kept aside.


Another good fighting wine is "Melbourne Old-and-Yellow", which is particularly heavy, and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.
Another interestingly named wine is "Melbourne Old-and-Yellow", which is quite potent and should only be used for physical altercations.


Quite the reverse is true of "Chateau Chunder", which is an Appelachian controle, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation -- a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends.
In stark contrast to "Melbourne Old-and-Yellow", "Chateau Chunder" does not pack a punch. Instead, it causes vomiting due to its Appalachian control and is only suitable for those who enjoy regurgitation.


Real emetic fans will also go for a "Hobart Muddy", and a prize winning "Cuiver Reserve Chateau Bottled Nuit San Wogga Wogga", which has a bouquet like an aborigine armpit.
True fans of emetics consider "Hobart Muddy" and the award-winning "Cuiver Reserve Chateau Bottled Nuit San Wogga Wogga" with their unpleasant scent akin to the odor from an aborigine armpit, to be delightful.




Contributed by Elena G. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Comments from YouTube:

@nancyf7919

I enjoyed listening to this for the first time (very rare for Monty Pyton) whilst on the toilet. I don't think this has aged well, and yet it was the most genuine laugh I had all day.

@danieleyre8913

This is hilarious.
But also rather ironic given that about a decade after this was made Australian wine had gained a reputation for being generally rather good, which is more than can be said for British wines…

@jesoby

Still waiting to find a Welsh claret I can finish a glass of.

@ksrmk

... 8 bottles of this and you're really finished ...

@brianallen7572

Finnish'd ?

@quizmaster85

"...which has a bouquet like an Aborigine's armpit."

Monty Python doesn't often do punchlines.

But when they do, they REALLY hit the spot!

@WindTurbineSyndrome

Peppermint burgundy

@iankearns774

PC Police hard at it. Why would they cut that off?

@sdfkjgh

@Ian Kearns: Why assume it's anything to do with political correctness? It could just be a matter of squeamishness about the word "armpit".

@iankearns774

@sdfkjgh I doubt that very much mate.

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