The group includes Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle (the trio from Cambridge, who are all taller than all the other members of the group, and known as the more "aggressive" half of the group), Terry Jones (from Wales), Michael Palin (from Oxford) and Terry Gilliam (Minnesota in the United States). Chapman wrote the sketches with Cleese, Jones wrote with Palin, Idle wrote alone and Gilliam did the animations. Neil Innes and Carol Cleveland have both on occasion been mentioned as the "7th Python".
Graham Chapman, widely known as "The Dead One", died of cancer on October 4, 1989, the day before Python's 20th anniversary (thus being called "the greatest party pooper of all time" by Terry Jones), is tagged as the greatest actor among the group by his fellow Pythons. He had problems with alcohol and was a dedicated smoker of the pipe (he appears with a pipe in his hand in most of the Python sketches). He was known for his outstanding and abstract sense of humour; Cleese states that during their sketch-writing partnership Chapman did not say much, but when he said something it was often brilliant. The term "pepperpot" which is used to describe middle-aged ladies was found by Chapman.
John Cleese, probably the most famous Python on the other side of the Atlantic, is most widely known for his silly walk - the famous walk that he invented for Monty Python's Flying Circus, and repeated in one episode of Fawlty Towers, where he tries very hard not to remind his German visitors of the World War II by doing impersonations of Hitler. He lives in the USA. He played the lead as Basil Fawlty in "Fawlty Towers". He has been reported to be the first man to say "shit" on British TV and the first man to say "fuck" at a British memorial service.
Eric Idle is the composer of most Python songs (along with Neil Innes) such as the Python anthem "Always Look on the Bright Side Of Life" (which is also played after Iron Maiden's shows). His outstanding linguistic abilities have earned him the name "Master of the One-Liner". He created the Beatles parody "The Rutles" along with Neil Innes, and recently adapted the Python movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" as a Broadway musical called "Monty Python's Spamalot". His most famous Python role is the character he plays in the "Nudge Nudge" sketch. He is the self-acclaimed third tallest and sixth nicest Python.
Terry Gilliam was the only American in the group and has one of the most successful post-Python careers among the six, as he is the director of hugely popular movies like Brazil, 12 Monkeys, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and The Fisher King. His part was instrumental in helping Python gain their reputation as a unique comedy group, his animations helping them link sketches (which, of course, don't have punch lines) in an unprecedented manner. He has become a British citizen in early 2006 and renounced his American citizenship shortly afterwards. He acknowledges The Goon Show, a radio show aired in the 1950s on BBC radio, written by Spike Milligan and performed by Spike Milligan, Harry Secombe and Peter Sellers, as the main reason he chose Britain as his homeland.
Terry Jones is the most successful actor of the woman role (as demonstrated in the Spam sketch, which is only one of numerous occasions in which he has voiced the trademark of a high-pitched female impersonation). He is the director (or co-director) of all Python movies. He has also written, directed and appeared in a few more movies which featured some of his Python mates; despite the fact that these movies aren't quite a match for his work in the Flying Circus, they include some hilarious scenes, such as the singing scene in Erik the Viking. He is the writer of such excellent songs as "I'm So Worried" and "Traffic Lights". He has done a few historical documentaries, and in one of them he briefly acts the part of King Richard III (called "Ring Kichard the Thrid" by the Eric Idle character "the man who speaks entirely in anagrams", which prompts Michael Palin the interviewer to suggest that "Ring Kichard is surely a spoonerism and not an anagram", which results in Eric Idle's character leaving the studio, saying "If you are going to split hairs, I'm going to piss off" (which can serve as a pointer to the Eric Idle-John Cleese movie "Splitting Heirs")).
Michael Palin, known as the nicest python, and the favorite Python to work with for John Cleese, has done numerous travel documentaries during his post-Python career. His amazing sense of humour has inevitably permeated into what would otherwise be just ordinary documentaries (occasions like the Polushka Pole incident and thanking the goddess for her "nice mountain", to name a couple). This nice man, who finds it very difficult to say "no", is the only one who said "no" to a reunion in their 30th year. He is the inventor of the threat "If you don't cooperate, I will get nasty and start using some Dutch words".
As admitted on several occasions, the group likes to dress up as women.
Having said all that, Terry Jones is actually Welsh.
Cocktail Bar
Monty Python Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Terry J: Which is where it went wrong, eh...
Michael: Exactly!
Terry J: Pass the beernuts.
John: Oh he hasn't killed himself yet.
Terry J: He hasn't?
John: Oh no, waiting to April the 5th.
Michael: Some sort of tax dodge.
John: Evening, Tom.
Terry J: Evening, Harry.
Michael: Evening, Maurice.
Graham: Well, what's it to be, sir?
John: A mark.
Terry J: Oh, one of your specials please, Harry.
John: One special please, sir.
Graham: One special coming up.
John: So see what's in page eight. Nixon's had an arsehole transplant.
Michael: Well, have you've...eh...you've seen the stop press though? The arsehole's rejected him.
Graham: Ehm...would you like a twist of lemming, sir?
Terry J: Uh, yes please, Harry.
(squeak, squeak, squeak)
Graham: Bit more, sir?
Terry J: Oh, just a squeeze.
(SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK)
Graham: There you are, sir
Terry J: Thank you.
John: Alex, what'll you have?
Michael: Oh, aaaaaah, Mallard Fizz for me, please, Maurice.
Graham: Ok, sir, one Mallard Fizz coming up.
Michael: Jolly good.
Terry J: How about old Cohen Barkley?
John: Eh?
Terry J: [???? ???? ????. ??? ??? ?????? switched the wood preservertives into vinaigre. Sold the bottles right next to [???].
(QUAAACK, QUAAACK, QUAAACK)
Terry J: Smart fellow's always gonna do well. Nice bloke, said I [?????????]
Michael: Funny looking chap, you know. Buttocks bent the wrong way. [??????????] every time he sat down he fell over. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Don't make me laugh.
Terry J: Well, cheers then.
Graham: Cheers, sir
(Retching)
John: Eh, for me...ehm...a Harlem Stinger, please, Tom.
Graham: Okay, sir. Rastus!
Rastus: Here, boss.
Graham: One Harlem Stinger.
Rastus: One stinger coming raaaahhhhht up.
(Gurgling, retching)
Michael: Cheers, old boy.
Everyone: Cheers, all the best.
(Running to the lavatory)
John: Eh, how much is that then, Tom?
Graham: One pound and forty p, sir.
John: Would you care to join us?
Graham: Oh, no, thank you, sir.
John: There we are, keep the change.
Graham: Thank you, sir.
John: Good health.
Graham: Cheers.
(Drinking. Running to the lavatory, regurgitating)
Terry J: Same again, please, Harry.
Go easy on the lemming, Harry.
Graham: Okay, sir. There you are, sir. Eh...same again for you, sir?
Michael: Just a small one, Maurice.
Graham: Okay, sir.
Michael: Maurice?
Graham: Yes, sir?
Michael: You haven't got something a little less...eh...ducky, have you?
Graham: What do you mean, something without the mallard, sir? How about a Dog Turd and Tonic?
Michael: Uurgh!
The lyrics to 'Cocktail Bar' by Monty Python open with John revealing that he has a half-sister who has made a fortune by rigging the Vanadium market, which she has then invested in diesel-powered nuns. The conversation then shifts to the impending suicide of a man who is waiting until April 5th for a tax dodge. Amidst these bizarre dialogues, the group orders a round of drinks from the bartender, discussing news headlines, wood preservatives, and drinks made with lemming and mallard. Michael expresses his distaste for the Duck Turd and Tonic in the end. The lyrics present a satirical take on the ridiculousness of modern life.
Line by Line Meaning
John: ...except for a half sister, who was obsessed with Vanadium. Rigged the market, made a cool forty million, paid off the Lord Mayor, and put the lot into diesel powered nuns.
John shares a story with his friends about a relative who made a lot of money through cheating and bribery, and invested it in a charitable cause involving diesel-powered nuns.
Terry J: Which is where it went wrong, eh...
Terry J suggests that things didn't turn out as planned in the previous story.
Michael: Exactly!
Michael agrees with Terry J's comment.
Terry J: Pass the beernuts.
Terry J asks for some snacks to go with their drinks.
John: Oh he hasn't killed himself yet.
John shares another story about someone who is waiting for a specific date to commit suicide for tax purposes.
Terry J: He hasn't?
Terry J expresses surprise at John's story.
John: Oh no, waiting to April the 5th.
John clarifies the specific date the person is waiting for.
Michael: Some sort of tax dodge.
Michael explains the reason for the person's planned suicide.
Graham: Good evening, sir.
Graham greets a customer at the bar.
John: Evening, Tom.
John responds to Graham's greeting.
Terry J: Evening, Harry.
Terry J acknowledges another bartender.
Michael: Evening, Maurice.
Michael greets yet another bartender.
Graham: Well, what's it to be, sir?
Graham asks the customer what they would like to drink.
John: A mark.
John orders a specific type of beverage.
Terry J: Oh, one of your specials please, Harry.
Terry J requests a special drink from Harry.
John: One special please, sir.
John confirms his order to Graham.
Graham: One special coming up.
Graham acknowledges the orders and begins making the drinks.
John: So see what's in page eight. Nixon's had an arsehole transplant.
John reads out a bizarre news story about a politician having a transplant done on an unusual body part.
Michael: Well, have you've...eh...you've seen the stop press though? The arsehole's rejected him.
Michael adds to the news story, stating that the transplant has failed.
Graham: Ehm...would you like a twist of lemming, sir?
Graham asks the customer if they would like a specific ingredient added to their drink.
Terry J: Uh, yes please, Harry. (squeak, squeak, squeak)
Terry J accepts the offer and a strange sound effect plays.
Graham: Bit more, sir?
Graham offers to add more of the ingredient.
Terry J: Oh, just a squeeze. (SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK)
Terry J declines the offer of more and the sound effect plays again.
Graham: There you are, sir
Graham finishes preparing the drink and hands it to Terry J.
Terry J: Thank you.
Terry J thanks the bartender for the drink.
John: Alex, what'll you have?
John asks their friend, Alex, what they would like to drink.
Michael: Oh, aaaaaah, Mallard Fizz for me, please, Maurice.
Michael orders a specific drink from Maurice.
Graham: Ok, sir, one Mallard Fizz coming up.
Graham acknowledges the order and starts making the drink.
Michael: Jolly good.
Michael expresses their satisfaction with the upcoming drink.
Terry J: How about old Cohen Barkley?
Terry J asks about someone named Cohen Barkley.
John: Eh?
John asks Terry J to clarify their question.
Terry J: [???? ???? ????. ??? ??? ?????? switched the wood preservertives into vinaigre. Sold the bottles right next to [???].
Terry J shares a story about someone who cheated customers by switching bottle contents.
(QUAAACK, QUAAACK, QUAAACK)
A strange sound effect plays after Terry J's story.
Terry J: Smart fellow's always gonna do well. Nice bloke, said I [?????????]
Terry J comments on the successfulness of the story's subject and recalls something they said to him.
Michael: Funny looking chap, you know. Buttocks bent the wrong way. [??????????] every time he sat down he fell over. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Don't make me laugh.
Michael adds a humorous comment about the person from Terry J's story, causing them to laugh.
Terry J: Well, cheers then.
Terry J raises a glass to their friends in celebration.
Graham: Cheers, sir
Graham joins in with the toast.
(Retching)
A sound effect plays to indicate someone vomiting in the background.
John: Eh, for me...ehm...a Harlem Stinger, please, Tom.
John orders a specific cocktail from Tom.
Graham: Okay, sir. Rastus!
Graham calls for another bartender, Rastus, to help him make the drink.
Rastus: Here, boss.
Rastus responds to Graham's call for help.
Graham: One Harlem Stinger.
Graham confirms the order to Rastus.
Rastus: One stinger coming raaaahhhhht up. (Gurgling, retching)
Rastus makes the drink and things don't sound like they are going well.
Michael: Cheers, old boy. Everyone: Cheers, all the best. (Running to the lavatory)
The group makes another toast, but someone runs to the bathroom before they can drink. This could be due to the vile-sounding drink that Rastus made.
John: Eh, how much is that then, Tom?
John asks for the cost of the drinks they just ordered.
Graham: One pound and forty p, sir.
Graham provides the cost of the drinks.
John: Would you care to join us?
John invites Graham to drink with them.
Graham: Oh, no, thank you, sir.
Graham politely declines the offer.
John: There we are, keep the change.
John offers to let Graham keep more money than needed for their drinks.
Graham: Thank you, sir.
Graham thanks John for the offer.
John: Good health.
John makes another toast to everyone's health.
Graham: Cheers.
Graham joins in with the toast.
(Drinking. Running to the lavatory, regurgitating)
The group drinks, but one person runs to the bathroom again due to the unpleasant drink.
Terry J: Same again, please, Harry. Go easy on the lemming, Harry.
Terry J orders more drinks and asks that the bartender use less of a certain ingredient this time.
Graham: Okay, sir. There you are, sir. Eh...same again for you, sir?
Graham confirms the order and asks if anyone else would like the same drink.
Michael: Just a small one, Maurice.
Michael orders a smaller drink this time.
Graham: Okay, sir.
Graham acknowledges the order.
Michael: Maurice?
Michael addresses the bartender they ordered from.
Graham: Yes, sir?
Graham responds to Michael.
Michael: You haven't got something a little less...eh...ducky, have you?
Michael asks if there's a drink with an ingredient that's less unusual than the previous ones.
Graham: What do you mean, something without the mallard, sir? How about a Dog Turd and Tonic?
Graham misunderstands Michael's request and suggests an even more bizarre-sounding drink.
Michael: Uurgh!
Michael expresses disgust at Graham's suggestion.
Contributed by Joseph D. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@StephSancia
I was telling my friend about the squeeze of lemming this morning and he thought i was being crazy as usual LOL, did the search squeeze of lemming and here I am LOL, bought ALL monty python albums in the 70's, a CULT not many actually get HAHA you just had to BE THERE, everyone in the royal navy UK knew the sketches off by heart LOL, AWESOME UPLOAD !
@nigelorchard1482
I really don't know why "twist of lemming" is so funny, but it cracks me up every time someone uses it
@tuttt99
Bit more, sir?
@RachelDeRosier010894
And the mallard fizz
@recnepsgnitnarb6530
Dog turd and tonic! LOL!
@ProjectFlashlight612
This sketch REALLY needs visuals to work properly. Gilliam gets up to some 'body antics' that have the audience wetting themselves with laughter that we album listeners can only guess at.
@maxshea4762
It was even funnier when I was twelve!
@TravisGoss2011
Would love to have scene this sketch performed live.
@joeroganjosh9333
Travis Goss I’m fairly sure it exists.....no, I’m thinking of @ Hollywood Bowl and no way did they perform this one there. Oh well.
@l.salisbury1253
4:36 - reminds me of the time Redd Foxx actually "apologized" at the end of a monologue: "If I have offended any of you out there tonight... I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!"