Even If It Kills Me
Motion City Soundtrack Lyrics
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I'm so sick of making lists
Of things I'll never finish
I've lived here for the last 12 years
Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes
But if I had a little more time to kill
I'd settle every little stupid thing
Yeah you'd think that I would
But I'm too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I'm too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way
I wonder if I'll ever lose my mind
I tried hard for awhile
But then I kinda gave up
Winter is a killer when the sun goes down
"I'm really not as stubborn as I seem,"
Said the knuckle to the concrete
But I'm too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I'm too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way
I'm not saying that I'm giving up
I'm just trying not to think as much as I used to
Cause "never" is a lonely little messed up word
Maybe I'll get it right some day
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try
I feel helpless for the most part
But I'm learning to open my eyes
And the sad truth of the matter is
I'll never get over it
But I'm gonna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way
I so want to get back on track
And I'll do whatever it takes
Even if it kills me
The lyrics to "Even If It Kills Me" by Motion City Soundtrack explore the struggles of trying to better oneself while battling against personal obstacles. The first verse sets the scene of a person who has been living in the same place for over a decade, surrounded by unpacked boxes and unfinished tasks. The singer acknowledges that while they should take care of these things, they lack the energy to do so. The repetition of "But I'm too tired to go to sleep tonight / And I'm too weak to follow dreams tonight" signifies the exhaustion and defeat that the singer feels.
The chorus expresses a glimmer of hope, as the singer states that they want to try to get better and overcome each moment in their own way. The second verse further highlights the inner struggle of the singer as they question whether they will ever lose control of their actions, despite previous attempts to stay on track. The line "I'm really not as stubborn as I seem, said the knuckle to the concrete" suggests that the singer has hit rock bottom and is willing to acknowledge their own weaknesses.
The bridge provides a candid moment of self-reflection, as the singer realizes that "never" is a limiting word and strives to think positively. Although they feel helpless, they are learning to accept their situation and open their eyes to the possibilities of a better future. The song ends with the singer acknowledging that the road to recovery is a difficult one, but they are willing to do whatever it takes "even if it kills me".
Line by Line Meaning
I've got a lotta things to do tonight
I have a lot of tasks to complete tonight
I'm so sick of making lists
I'm tired of listing things to do
Of things I'll never finish
Of tasks that will remain incomplete
I've lived here for the last 12 years
I've been living here for about 12 years now
Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes
All my belongings have been in boxes since 1995
But if I had a little more time to kill
But if I had more free time
I'd settle every little stupid thing
I would resolve every small issue
Yeah you'd think that I would
You would expect me to do that
But I'm too tired to go to sleep tonight
I'm too exhausted to go to bed tonight
And I'm too weak to follow dreams tonight
I'm not strong enough to pursue my aspirations tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
I can assert for the first time in a while that
That I want to try to get better and
I aspire to improve and
Overcome each moment
Overcome every challenge
In my own way
In the manner that suits me
I wonder if I'll ever lose my mind
I ponder whether I'll ever become insane
I tried hard for awhile
I made a strong attempt for a period
But then I kinda gave up
But then I somewhat abandoned the effort
Winter is a killer when the sun goes down
Winter is challenging when the sun sets
"I'm really not as stubborn as I seem,"
"I'm not as obstinate as it appears,"
Said the knuckle to the concrete
Uttered the knuckle to the pavement
I'm not saying that I'm giving up
I'm not implying that I'm quitting
I'm just trying not to think as much as I used to
I'm attempting to reduce my overthinking
Cause "never" is a lonely little messed up word
Because "never" is an isolated, confused word
Maybe I'll get it right some day
Perhaps I'll succeed in the future
I feel helpless for the most part
Mostly, I experience a sense of powerlessness
But I'm learning to open my eyes
But I'm discovering how to be more perceptive
And the sad truth of the matter is
The sorrowful reality is
I'll never get over it
I'll never entirely move on
But I'm gonna try
But I'm going to make an effort
To get better and overcome each moment
To improve and triumph over every challenge
In my own way
In the manner suitable for me
I so want to get back on track
I'm eager to get back on course
And I'll do whatever it takes
And I'll do anything necessary
Even if it kills me
Even if it entails extreme sacrifice
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: JESSE MACK JOHNSON, JOSHUA ALLEN CAIN, JUSTIN COURTNEY PIERRE, MATTHEW SCOTT TAYLOR, TONY RICHARD THAXTON
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@Law-of-EnTropy
"Even If It Kills Me"
I’ve got a lotta things to do tonight
I’m so sick of making lists
Of things I’ll never finish
I’ve lived here for the last 12 years
Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes
But if I had a little more time to kill
I’d settle every little stupid thing
Yeah you’d think that I would
But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way
I wonder if I’ll ever lose my mind
I tried hard for awhile
But then I kinda gave up
Winter is a killer when the sun goes down
"I’m really not as stubborn as I seem,"
Said the knuckle to the concrete
But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way
I’m not saying that I’m giving up
I’m just trying not to think as much as I used to
Cause "never" is a lonely little messed up word
Maybe I’ll get it right some day
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try
I feel helpless for the most part
But I’m learning to open my eyes
And the sad truth of the matter is
I’ll never get over it
But I’m gonna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way
I so want to get back on track
And I’ll do whatever it takes
Even if it kills me
@killianoshaughnessy1174
This whole album makes my skin crawl from the awesomeness, but this song is, by far, the one that really gives me the most goose bumps. After all these years, it still gives me that same overwhelming feel that I felt when I first heard them. This song, this album, this band, is a very underrated piece of gem.
@christystaude4395
I could not even be more in absolute agreement. this album means the world to me.
@nighttimetelevision2969
So true!
@expecttheunexpectable7775
It's a shame they had to announce an indefinite hiatus though. They'll always live on in our hearts
@ayaonora
a certain kind of wonderful, feels beautiful
@Nokorola
Yep, it’s still an amazing album.
@ohralalalalala
This song helped me get through high school. I love this band. ❤
@willowtree2793
My hs band director suggested mcs to me a couple months ago and I feel in love with them. Every song I’ve heard is fucking awesome, but this is a work of art right here
@Double0behave
Their music got me through all the ups and downs of my 20's.
@ninja7877
I think all of the albums they've released are fucking amazing, the top of humanity, but this one, oh boy, I adore it.