Merry Fucking Christmas
Herbert Garrison (known as Janet Garrison between his two sex changes) is a… Read Full Bio ↴Herbert Garrison (known as Janet Garrison between his two sex changes) is a recurring character in the South Park cartoon series. He is voiced by Trey Parker. For the first eight seasons of the series, the character was known as Mr. Garrison but in season 9 underwent sex reassignment surgery. The character was thereafter known to the other characters as Mrs. Garrison, despite being unmarried. In the season 12 episode, "Eek, a Penis!", he undergoes yet another sex change operation (back to a man). Garrison is particularly cynical, especially in comparison with the rest of South Park's adults, and he is one of the few characters to ever break the fourth wall on the show.

Merry Fucking Christmas
Mr. Garrison The 3rd Grade Teacher Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs

They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday
And so every December
I go to the Middle East and say

"Hey there Mr. Muslim
Merry fucking Christmas
Put down that book the Koran
And hear some holiday wishes.

In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
and fucking celebrate.

There is no holiday season in India I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd!

They've never read a Christmas story.
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And that is why in December
I'll go to India and shout

Hey there Mr. Hinduist
Merry fucking Christmas
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus.

In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass
and fucking celebrate!

Now I heard that in Japan
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods
And put needles in their skin.

On December 25th
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan
And walk around and say

Hey there Mr. Shintoist
Merry fucking Christmas
God is going to kick your ass
You infidelic pagan scum.

In case you haven't noticed
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry fucking Christmas to you.

On Christmas day I travel 'round the world and say,
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,
Merry Fucking Christmas, To You!

Thank you Mr. hat

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Mr. Garrison’s “Merry Fucking Christmas” are a satirical take on the idea that Christmas is only celebrated in some regions and perceived as superior to other religions and beliefs. The song makes fun of the stereotype of the Middle East not celebrating Christmas with their “different religious beliefs” and proposes that they should celebrate it anyway. Similarly, the song makes fun of other cultures like India and Japan for not celebrating Christmas in the same way as the US.


In the song, Mr. Garrison mocks the various religions and cultures for not celebrating Christmas like America does, asking “Hey there Mr. Muslim,” “Hey there Mr. Hinduist” and "Hey there Mr. Shintoist" to celebrate Jesus’ birthday by “getting off your heathen ass and fucking celebrate.” Mr. Garrison’s approach to other religions and cultures is insensitive, and he fails to recognize that not everyone chooses to celebrate Christmas, or that other cultures celebrate different religious holidays. The song highlights the reality that there is a lack of cultural understanding between different cultures and religions.


Line by Line Meaning

I heard there is no Christmas
I've heard that some parts of the world don't celebrate Christmas


In the silly Middle East
I'm labeling the entire Middle East as 'silly' because they don't celebrate Christmas


No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They don't have the same holiday traditions as us in the West


They have different religious beliefs
They follow a different religion than Christianity


They believe in Muhammad
Their religious figure is not Jesus Christ but Muhammad


And not in our holiday
They don't acknowledge Christmas as a holiday


And so every December
Every year in December, I feel the need to go to the Middle East and tell them off for not celebrating Christmas


Hey there Mr. Muslim
I'm addressing a Muslim man in a condescending way


Put down that book the Koran
I'm insulting their religious text, the Koran


And hear some holiday wishes
Listen to my Christmas greetings whether you like it or not


In case you haven't noticed
I'm assuming that they haven't noticed it's Christmas


It's Jesus's birthday
I'm reminding them that Christmas is the day Jesus Christ was born


So get off your heathen Muslim ass
I'm insulting their religious beliefs again and telling them to stop being non-Christian


and fucking celebrate.
Celebrate Christmas even if it's not your holiday


There is no holiday season in India I've heard
I'm claiming that India doesn't have a holiday season like Christmas


They don't hang up their stockings
I'm pointing out a difference in holiday traditions between India and Christmas


And that is just absurd!
I'm mocking their traditions because they are different from mine


They've never read a Christmas story
They are not familiar with Christmas stories or traditions


They don't know what Rudolph is about
They are unfamiliar with the popular Christmas character Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer


And that is why in December
This is why I feel the need to go to India and tell them to celebrate Christmas


I'll go to India and shout
I intend to go to India and yell at Hinduists for not acknowledging Christmas


Hey there Mr. Hinduist
I'm addressing a Hindu in a condescending manner


Drink eggnog and eat some beef
I'm telling them what to do on Christmas even though they have different dietary restrictions


and pass it to the missus.
I'm continuing to mock their traditions and assuming the presence of a 'missus'


Now I heard that in Japan
I heard that Japan doesn't celebrate Christmas


Everyone just lives in sin
I'm making sweeping generalizations about Japanese culture


They pray to several gods
They have a polytheistic religion, which is different from Christianity


And put needles in their skin
I'm making another sweeping generalization that is not accurate


On December 25th
I'm using the Western date for Christmas without acknowledging different calendar systems


All they do is eat a cake
I'm pointing out their tradition of eating cake on Christmas, which is different than ours


And that is why I go to Japan
I intend to go to Japan and criticize their lack of Christmas celebrations


And walk around and say
I plan on verbally attacking their religion and culture


God is going to kick your ass
I'm making a threat in the name of Christianity


You infidelic pagan scum.
I'm insulting their lack of Christian faith and labeling them as 'scum'


There's festive things to do
I'm arguing that Christmas is a festive holiday no matter where you live


So lets all rejoice for Jesus
I'm reminding everyone that Christmas is meant to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ


And Merry fucking Christmas to you.
I'm using profanity to drive home my message of celebrating Christmas no matter what your beliefs are


On Christmas day I travel 'round the world and say, Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too, Merry Fucking Christmas, To You!
I continue to spread my message of celebrating Christmas to people of different religions and non-believers in a crude manner


Thank you Mr. hat
This line doesn't add any further meaning to the song, so I chose not to include it




Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: PARKER

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
To comment on or correct specific content, highlight it

TRACKS
Genre not found
Artist not found
Album not found
Search results not found
Song not found

More Versions