The Pain
Murs Lyrics

See I'm a single black male, dark hair, dark eyes
I am a man who is single, black, and has dark hair and eyes.

Long walks through a park and a lot of them lives
I like to take long walks in the park and observe the lives of those around me.

I'm a little bit shaded by a lot of what I see
I am influenced and affected by the things I see and experience in life.

So if you're still interested you should come get at me
If you are still interested in pursuing a relationship with me, then you should reach out to me.

Cause I'm tired of getting shot down, put down and dissed
I am tired of being rejected, criticized, and insulted by others.

I want to be picked up, held tight and kissed
I long for physical affection and intimacy with another person.

But things like these don't happen to dudes like me
I feel that I am not the kind of person that others are interested in romantically or sexually.

Because I'm more Coldplay than I am Ice-T
I am more like a sensitive, emotional band like Coldplay than a rough and tough rapper like Ice-T.

They say that good girls love bad guys and that might be
It is often said that women are attracted to men who are bad or dangerous.

But a bad girl with a good guy, that's unlikely
However, it is less common for a woman who is considered bad or rebellious to be interested in a man who is good and respectable.

So what's a man to do to get to hold hands with you?
What can I do to have the opportunity to hold your hand and be close to you?

Do I talk shit and stand and look hard with my crew?
Should I act tough and talk trash while standing with my friends?

I don't know what to do, so I drown in my drink
I am unsure of how to proceed and so I turn to alcohol to try to cope with my pain and confusion.

It helps to numb the pain, cause when I sit and think about it
Drinking alcohol provides temporary relief from my emotional pain and allows me to avoid thinking about my problems.

Eyes get clouded, thoughts get crowded (thoughts get clouded)
As I succumb to the effects of alcohol, my mind becomes muddled and confused.

So I'ma sit right here, wait for you to talk about it
I will stay where I am and wait for you to initiate a conversation about our potential relationship.

Said she had a boyfriend, just trying to be nice
The woman I approached told me that she already has a boyfriend, but was trying to let me down gently.

But I've heard the same lines from different women all night
However, I have heard similar excuses from many other women I have tried to approach tonight.

Too easy let down, but don't let it get you down
It can be discouraging to be repeatedly rejected, but don't let it affect your self-esteem.

Simply put I think you're stunning, and what about some kids?
I think you are incredibly attractive, and have even thought about the possibility of starting a family with you.

A couple dogs, a couple cars, a four bedroom crib?
I envision a future with you where we have dogs, multiple cars, and a spacious home with four bedrooms.

Look, I'm not trying to jib, I'm just speaking from the heart
I am being honest and sincere with you, and not trying to deceive or manipulate you.

But we can start with a drink if you want to play it smart
If you are interested, we could start by simply having a drink together and getting to know each other.

She looking at my boy who got two kids at home and
The woman I approached seemed more interested in my friend who already has children.

I know how it goes, here's his number telephone and
I am familiar with this dynamic and can tell that she is more interested in pursuing a relationship with my friend.

He does the girl's turf, and I know you're smelling on him
My friend is more experienced and successful with women, and I can tell that you are interested in him.

But every bitch needs a dog, so I guess that's why you want him
Every woman needs a man who is confident and assertive, and I suppose that is why you are interested in my friend.

I try to be subtle, but even flirting got me shooked
I try to be gentle and indirect when flirting, but I still become very nervous and anxious.

I would never get a smile, all I got was dirty looks
Rather than receiving positive feedback or encouragement, I often get negative or hostile reactions from women I try to pursue.

And my self-esteem is low enough, I got teased growing up
My confidence and sense of self-worth are already very low, and I was bullied and made fun of as a child.

And what I do, I beat 'em up, but that only made me tough
In response to the bullying, I became physically violent, but this only reinforced a tough exterior and did not improve my emotional well-being.

It didn't get me girls, or notes in class
My aggressive behavior did not help me to attract women, nor did it improve my academic performance.

Same girls who used to tell, when I would pinch their ass
Ironically, some of the same women who I pursued and harassed as a child are now the women who reject me as an adult.

But if another boy did it, then they would get gritty
These same women would become confrontational and aggressive if another man treated them in the same way that I did.

So I pretended the handball was their face when I hit it
In order to cope with my pain and anger, I would imagine the ball as the face of the people who had hurt me and take out my frustration on it.

And I admit it's part the reason why I'm do em like I do
I acknowledge that my past experiences and insecurities have contributed to my current attitudes and actions towards women.

And women in my life, there has only been two
I have had very few positive or significant relationships with women in my life.

My mother being one, and the other one is done
My only significant relationship with a woman aside from my mother has ended and is no longer a part of my life.

So my philosophy on dating is; ain't no fun
As a result of my negative experiences and limited success with women, I have a negative and skeptical attitude towards dating.

Cause they come and they go, and even if they don't cum
Even if I do pursue a relationship with a woman, it is likely to end eventually and without the fulfillment of my desired outcome.

They still have to go, girl I give the best head
Even if I am intimate with a woman, the relationship is still temporary and does not lead to long-term satisfaction.

But you just wouldn't know, cause you stuck up in some diddy
You would not know that I am capable of being sexually satisfying because you are too focused on superficial things and not interested in giving me a chance.

But even if you dissed me, I ain't mad
Even if you reject or insult me, I am not angry or resentful towards you.