Heavy
N.E.U.K Lyrics

It's all up on my shoulders and it's getting heavy
The singer has a lot of responsibilities that are weighing them down.

When I was younger I thought when I'm older I'll be ready
The singer had idealistic views of adulthood when they were younger but realize now that they were not prepared for the reality of growing up.

But now I'm in my mid 20’s, barely can cook spaghetti
The singer feels that they are not very skilled at basic tasks even though they are in their mid-twenties.

And I've been spending my money as if I'm paid and wealthy
The artist has been spending money carelessly, as if they have a lot of it.

Damn I've built up so much credit card debt
The artist has incurred a significant amount of debt.

At this point paying it off seems really far fetched
The singer feels overwhelmed by the amount of debt they have and doubts their ability to pay it off.

And I wanna travel but I'm saddled on a fence
The singer is torn between pursuing their dreams of traveling and being responsible with their finances.

Should I stay up on my grind
The artist is questioning whether they should prioritize working and making money or pursuing their passions.

Or spend some time before I'm dead?
The artist is wondering if they should prioritize enjoying life now instead of always working towards the future.

Guess the one thing that I know is I can’t get the answers to it all
The artist recognizes that they cannot have all the answers or control every aspect of their life.

Like why can’t I be the man that she wanted all along?
The singer is questioning why they cannot be the kind of man that someone they care about wants them to be.

And why can’t I be in charge of how they all take my songs?
The artist is wondering why they cannot control how others interpret their music.

And why the fuck did god go and give cancer to my mom?
The singer is expressing anger and frustration towards a higher power for the struggles their family has faced, specifically cancer affecting their mother.

But I slowly make my peace with it
The singer is slowly accepting and finding peace with the difficult situations they have faced.

Or maybe I'm just getting numb cuz I don’t feel different
The singer wonders if they are becoming numb to the difficult situations they face.

Just less effected, less and less time spent on seeing pictures
The artist is becoming less emotionally affected by difficult situations and is spending less time reminiscing about the past.

But till our last second my sisters and I are grieving children
The artist and their sisters are grieving for their mother and will continue to do so until the end of their lives.

I hope I make them proud before I leave the building
The singer hopes to make their sisters proud of their accomplishments before they pass away.

I know I'm not the son my father had envisioned
The singer recognizes that they have not lived up to their father's expectations of them.

I hope I make a child believe in what is in him
The artist hopes to inspire a child to believe in themselves and their potential.

I know when you make it the hatred surface with it
The artist recognizes that success can come with envy and hatred from others.

And I'm certain I'll get insecure with my first critic
The artist anticipates feeling insecure when they receive their first negative criticism.

I'm already hurt, these verses seem to make a difference
The singer is already experiencing emotional pain but finds solace in writing and expressing themselves through music.

So I keep on working till every person has taken interest
The artist is determined to keep working on their music until they gain widespread attention and interest.

Emotions always escalate a situation quick
The singer recognizes that emotions can quickly escalate a situation and make it more difficult to handle.

I've learned that most the time I'm just denying what it is
The singer has learned that they often deny or ignore their own emotions.

I'm guided by a mind that makes me wanna die
The singer struggles with negative thoughts that can make them feel hopeless.

As other organs try to live
Despite the negative thoughts, the artist is still trying to find meaning in life.

I'm horrible at sticking to my own advice
The artist admits that they struggle to take their own advice.

Let alone someone else’s on how to live my life
The singer struggles to listen to advice from others on how to live their life.

People always love to judge I've grown to find it fine
The singer has become less bothered by people judging or criticizing them.

Cuz I just can’t help that they look down on me when trynna climb
The artist feels that others judge them when they are trying to improve themselves and climb up in the world.

Word to the wise if you ahead of me be humble
The artist advises those who are more successful than them to remain humble.

Show me your respect and nothing less for I have struggled
The artist feels that they deserve respect because of the struggles they have faced.

Even though I know I'm next I only flex when I rebuttal
The singer is aware of their own potential for success but only shows off when they need to defend themselves.

Otherwise I keep the peace cuz there’s no need to start some trouble
The artist tries to avoid conflict and keep things peaceful.

This girl think its just a line when I said come and cuddle
The singer feels that someone they are interested in is not taking their words seriously.

Why’s it so hard to believe that I just love to snuggle
The singer is frustrated that their interest in cuddling is not being taken seriously.

Straight up and subtle with my words I can’t control the implication
The singer tries to be straightforward and subtle when expressing themselves but cannot control how their words are interpreted by others.

Cuz that’s a mix of what you heard and how you chose to take it
The way others interpret the artist's words is influenced by their own biases and experiences.

And that depends on norms that you were raised with
The way others interpret the artist's words is influenced by the cultural norms they were raised with.

Some take offense to things that others find their way with
What offends one person may not offend another, as everyone has their own way of interpreting things.

Some make the best of what they have while others live their lives complaining
Some people choose to make the best of what they have while others constantly complain about their circumstances.

Right now I'm doing both in an attempt to try to paint it
The artist is both making the best of their situation and acknowledging the difficulties they face in an attempt to express their reality honestly.

Cuz I've been residing in a state that I feel opaque in
The artist has been living in a state that feels unclear or difficult to understand.

Trynna find the faith that I eventually will make it
The artist is trying to have faith that their hard work and perseverance will eventually lead to success.

To a time that I am fine with all the times I wasn’t
The singer hopes to one day be at peace with all the difficult times they have faced.

Looking at my life I've had a dime a dozen
The artist feels that they have had many similar experiences to others and are not unique.

It's gonna be heavy
The singer knows that their struggles and challenges will be difficult to handle.

When you see my demise
The singer anticipates that their struggles may lead to failure or demise at some point.

For now out the belly
For now, the singer has escaped a difficult situation or challenge.

Of the beast I arise
The artist feels triumphant over a difficult situation or challenge.

And how can you tell me
The artist is questioning why others cannot see things from their perspective.

That you don’t see it like I do
The singer feels that others are not understanding their perspective or experiences.

Salvation at that mountain peak I climb to
The singer feels that they may find salvation or peace of mind when they achieve their goals and climb to the top of their metaphorical mountain.