LOST
NF Lyrics

Self-awareness, pride's a coat and yes, I like to wear it
I am aware of myself and have a sense of pride, and I enjoy displaying it.

Buttoned up, don't like to let no air in
I prefer to keep myself closed off and not let anyone get too close.

With a pair of gloves, that I hope doesn't perish
Using protective measures, I hope to prevent any harm or damage to myself.

I discovered, though, when I get holes in 'em and I let joy in, I'm in higher spirits
But I have realized that when I allow myself to experience joy, despite the risks, it greatly improves my emotional well-being.

My mistakes are like a screamin' parrot
My mistakes are constantly reminding me of their presence, causing distress.

Just repeatin' lyrics, I can barely bear it when I'm lost
I continuously replay my mistakes in my mind, and it becomes unbearable when I feel lost and uncertain.

Road is narrow, I'm lookin' down it like a gun's barrel
I perceive my path in life to be restrictive and daunting, similar to staring down the barrel of a gun.

Aren't we all searchin' for the serum that could help us breathe and leave our state of peril?
Don't we all long for a solution that can alleviate our suffering and allow us to escape our current circumstances?

All of us have made defensive scarecrows that we scatter 'round our fields and treat like heroes
We all create protective facades to ward off potential threats, even though these defense mechanisms may not truly save us.

When they scare away the things that we should cherish
However, these scarecrows often push away the very things that are valuable to us.

'Cause we're too embarrassed to admit that fear is that we're lost
Because of our embarrassment, we fail to acknowledge that our fear is a result of feeling lost and uncertain.

Yeah, but what does it matter? I get so combative
But ultimately, why does it even matter? I tend to become confrontational and defensive.

Inside of me's a personal canvas, the paint can be splattered
Within me, I have a unique opportunity to express myself creatively, and the paint represents the emotions and experiences I express.

Get messy when I start to get rattled
I become chaotic and disorganized when I become overwhelmed or agitated.

The heart of a savage, I'm quiet when I lurk in the shadows
Deep down, I have a fierce and untamed spirit, but I prefer to keep it hidden and observe quietly from the sidelines.

But somethin' don't add up, I don't wanna be overdramatic
However, something feels off and doesn't make sense, and I don't want to exaggerate the situation.

But look at the data, it's obvious that humans are fragile
But when you examine the evidence, it becomes clear that humans are inherently vulnerable and delicate.

We tend to get mad at the ones that call us out
We often become angry and defensive towards those who confront us with our shortcomings.

But the fact is we need someone that'll be honest when we fly off the handle
The truth is, we require someone who will be truthful and point out our flaws when we become excessively angry or lose control.

I admit I throw a fit when I begin to unravel
I acknowledge that I tend to have emotional outbursts when I start to lose control of my emotions.

Keep my wits, been off the grid but now I'm back in the saddle
I try to maintain control and composure, even when I disconnect from the world, but now I am ready to face challenges and take charge again.

My intent is not to rent, I like to own what I value
I don't want temporary solutions; I prefer to possess and take full ownership of everything that holds importance to me.

I could sit here on the fence or maybe pick up the paddle
I have a choice to either remain passive and indecisive or take action and confront the challenges head-on.

I like to row against the current, that's the way that I travel
I prefer to go against the conventional norms and challenge the status quo, as that is the path I choose to follow.

Opposite of what the grain does, got the brain of a rebel
I have a contrary mindset, defying conformity and embracing a rebellious nature.

Take initiative, I'm diligent on every level
I strive to be proactive and thorough in all aspects of my life.

I never could settle, I like to keep my foot on the pedal, yeah
I can never find contentment; I prefer to constantly push forward and stay driven.

I'd love to pack arenas and all
I would enjoy the fame and success of performing in large arenas.

But what I really wanna do is learn to handle my thoughts
However, my true desire is to master the ability to control my own thoughts and emotions.

And put the reins on 'em, show 'em I'm the one that's the boss
I want to take control of my own mind and prove that I am in charge of my thoughts and actions.

And pull 'em back when they get out of hand, I'm breakin' they jaws
When my thoughts become unruly and chaotic, I will rein them in and regain control by restraining their negative influence.

I'm takin' the flaws, that told me I could never evolve
I am embracing my imperfections and using them as motivation to prove those who doubted my growth wrong.

Then pull a Bane on 'em, ask 'em, 'Oh, you think you're in charge?'
I will surprise and challenge those who believed they had power over me, just like the character Bane from Batman.

You oughta know better, ain't no way around it, I'm flawed
Those who criticize me should understand that there is no denying or avoiding my imperfections.

The traits that I want, they say I can't afford what it cost
The qualities and attributes I desire for myself are often deemed too expensive or out of reach.

But I manifested this
However, I have consciously brought about my current situation or circumstances.

Failing's how you grow and learn your lessons, kids
Failure is an essential part of personal growth and acquiring knowledge, especially for young individuals.

Take the worse and try to make the best of it
Instead of dwelling on the negatives, strive to find positivity and make the most out of difficult situations.

'Cause when you fail, just know it's a test and if
Remember that when you experience failure, it is simply a test or challenge that you can learn from.

You can learn to pick yourself back up again
You have the ability to rise above your failures and rebuild yourself.

And train your brain to not be such a pessimist
Teach yourself to have a more optimistic mindset and avoid constantly expecting the worst outcome.

It's okay to make mistakes, just don't forget that
Making mistakes is a normal part of life; however, remember not to neglect the valuable lessons they offer.

There's a high road but I skip the exit when I'm lost
Although there may be a better, morally superior path to follow, I often disregard it when I feel confused or uncertain.

Wow, these burdens are heavy
These responsibilities and difficulties are weighing me down.

And I'm hopin' it don't bury me
I hope I can handle these challenges without being overwhelmed or crushed by them.

I used to be joyful and skip so merrily
I used to be filled with joy and happiness, freely expressing it without a care.

But now I'm too cautious and tip toe carefully
However, I have become overly cautious and navigate cautiously, afraid of making mistakes.

My mind left and it's nowhere to be found
My thoughts and mental clarity have abandoned me, leaving me in a state of confusion and disarray.

Am I a big ol' parody?
I question whether I have become a mockery of myself or a caricature of who I used to be.

'Cause it's no fair to me
Because this situation feels unjust and unfair to me.

And now I'm at the point where I'm spendin' a grand a week on hypnotherapy
I have reached a stage where I am investing a significant amount of money each week on therapy to address my mental struggles.

Look, I'm tryna wash away my sins
I am endeavoring to cleanse myself from my past mistakes and regrets.

I got a group of loved ones that ain't my friends
I have people close to me who claim to care about me, but their actions prove otherwise.

And if I ever take an L then they might grin
And if I face a loss or failure, they may derive pleasure or amusement from my misfortune.

And they all wanna see me stay in the cage I'm in
These individuals desire for me to remain confined within the limitations and struggles I currently face.

So when it come to anybody, there's no trust for no one
Therefore, I find it difficult to trust anyone, as I believe they have ulterior motives or hidden agendas.

Man, so what? My whole plan's to go nuts
But you know what? My ultimate intention is to embrace my flaws and unleash my true self without any restrictions.

My shoulders ready for more shrugs, I'm gon' judge
I am prepared to dismiss and ignore the opinions and judgments of others, as I will make my own assessments and decisions.

Anybody tryna enter my circle with no love (hol' up)
I do not welcome individuals into my inner circle who lack genuine care or affection for me.

My sanity's gone, I'd rather be torn from this planet they planted me on
I feel like I've lost my sanity and would prefer to be separated from this world that feels like a prison.

Yes, that's a reward, I'm actually bored with havin' a sore heart
To me, feeling detached from this world would be a form of relief, as I am tired of enduring emotional pain.

It's torn apart from a family that I don't have anymore (now hol' up)
My family relationships have become strained and broken, and I no longer have the familial connection I once had.

I was livin' so oblivious with millions, it really was a pity, huh? (A pity, huh?)
In the past, I lived in a state of ignorance despite having financial success, which now seems regrettable and pitiful.

It's kinda funny what a penny does, mixed in with a mini buzz (I feel stuck)
It's ironic how something as insignificant as a penny, when combined with a slight intoxication, can lead to feelings of being trapped or stagnant.

Life's got me by the neck, with a blade against it (what?)
I feel like life's challenges have me in a vulnerable position, with the constant threat of harm or danger.

Guess I was runnin' late for the train and missed it (what?)
It seems like I've missed out on important opportunities or chances for personal growth due to my apparent delay or lack of awareness.

The only thing I feel is pain and vengeance (what?)
All I experience is emotional suffering and a desire for revenge.

So I'ma act out like a ragin' misfit (what?)
As a result, I will express my frustrations and anger by behaving in a rebellious and defiant manner.

And every verse I lay gon' stay sadistic (yeah)
Each lyrical expression I create will continue to convey a sense of twisted and cruel emotions.

You wanna hate me? Good, great, terrific (good)
If you want to direct your hatred towards me, then go ahead, as I am not bothered by it.

You'll never see the day where my anger's dismissed
But don't expect that my anger will ever subside completely; it will always be present and influential in some form or another.

You better go and change your wishlist 'cause I
I advise you to revise your expectations and desires regarding me because

Do not treat me like some adolescent kid
You shouldn't treat me as if I am an immature or inexperienced individual.

I am prayin' to the Lord with the Book of James hopin' he gon' add my testament
I am seeking spiritual guidance through prayer, referencing the book of James in the Bible, hoping that God will acknowledge and validate my experiences and struggles.

This dark cloud, that's my residence
This constant feeling of negativity and despair is where I reside emotionally.

Demons knockin', I don't have to let 'em in
Negative forces and inner demons may try to influence me, but I have the choice to reject their presence and not allow them to control me.

I done made mistakes, day to day, you probably can't relate
I have made numerous mistakes throughout my life, which may be difficult for others to understand or relate to.

I just ain't the same when I'm lost
When I feel lost and directionless, I undergo a significant change in my personality and state of being.