The Search
NF Lyrics

Hey, Nate, how's life?
Someone checks in on me, trying to understand how I'm feeling.

I don't know, it's alright
I'm uncertain about my life but trying to remain positive.

I've been dealin' with some things like every human being
I'm handling personal struggles that everyone faces.

And really didn't sleep much last night (last night)
I was restless and anxious, unable to get a good night's sleep.

"I'm sorry", that's fine
I acknowledge the apology, but it doesn’t affect me deeply.

I just think I need a little me time
I realize I need to focus on myself for a while.

I just think I need a little free time
I need a break from responsibilities to recharge.

Little break from the shows and the bus rides (bus rides), yeah
I desire a pause from my hectic schedule of performing and traveling.

Last year I had a breakdown
I experienced a significant emotional crisis.

Thoughts tellin' me I'm lost gettin' too loud
My inner doubts were becoming overwhelming and unmanageable.

Had to see a therapist, then I found out
I sought professional help and gained insight into my issues.

Somethin' funny's goin' on up in my house
There are complex and troubling thoughts within my mind.

Yeah, I started thinkin' maybe I should move out
I contemplated distancing myself from these troubling thoughts.

You know, pack my cart, take a new route
I considered changing my lifestyle and perspective.

Clean up my yard, get the noose out
I want to tidy my life and eliminate harmful thoughts or habits.

Hang up my heart, let it air out (air out)
I wish to express and heal emotionally instead of keeping it bottled up.

I've been searchin'
I've been on a quest for understanding and clarity.

"What does that mean, Nate?"
Someone is curious about my journey and its significance.

I've been learning
I've gained knowledge and insights through my experiences.

Grabbin' my keepsakes, leavin' my burdens
I hold onto memories that matter while shedding what weighs me down.

Well, I brought a few with me, I'm not perfect
I acknowledge that I carry some struggles; I'm flawed like everyone else.

Lookin' at the view like, this concerns me
I'm reflecting on my current situation, feeling worried.

Pickin' up the cues, right? I'm quite nervous
I'm sensing the atmosphere and feeling anxious about it.

Hate it when I lose sight, life gets blurry
I struggle when I lose focus, leading to confusion.

And things might hurt me
I understand that life has potential pain and risks.

It's prolly gonna be a long journey, but hey (but hey)
I recognize this path will take time, yet I remain hopeful.

It's worth it, though
Despite the challenges, I believe the effort is valuable.

Cold world out there, kids, grab your coats
Life can be harsh, so be prepared for its difficulties.

Been a minute, I know, now I'm back to roam
It's been a while since I’ve been active, but I'm re-engaging.

Lookin' for the antidote to crack the code
I'm searching for solutions to understand life’s complexities.

Pretty vivid, I admit it, I'm in classic mode
My thoughts are clear, and I feel a return to my fundamental self.

Don't need pity given to me, but I can't condone
I don't want sympathy, but I won't accept disrespect either.

Talkin' down to me, I'ma have to crack your nose for crackin' jokes
If someone belittles me, I won't hesitate to defend myself.

I'm lookin' for the map to hope, you seen it? (You seen it?)
I’m on a quest for inspiration and positivity; I need guidance.

Been makin' a whole lot of changes
I've undergone significant personal growth and transformation.

Wrote a song about that, you should play it
I expressed my journey through music, and it’s worth listening to.

I get scared when I walk on these stages
Performing publically makes me anxious despite my passion.

I look at the crowd and see so many faces, yeah
I feel overwhelmed by the number of people watching me.

That's when I start to get anxious
The pressure of being in the spotlight heightens my anxiety.

That's when my thoughts can be dangerous
In those moments, negative thoughts become strong and troubling.

That's when I put on my makeup and drown in self-hatred
I mask my feelings with a facade but struggle with self-acceptance.

Forget what I'm saying, and
In the chaos of emotions, I often lose track of my own words.

Where'd the beat go?
I feel a sudden disconnection from the rhythm of life.

Oh, ain't that somethin'?
I’m surprised by the unexpected nature of my experiences.

Drums came in, you ain't see that comin'
Life has sudden changes that can catch you off guard.

Hands on my head, can't tell me nothin'
I'm overwhelmed by thoughts, and no one can change my mind.

Got a taste of the fame, had to pump my stomach
Experiencing success was overwhelming and made me feel sick.

Throw it back up like I don't want it
I'm rejecting the pressures and expectations that come with fame.

Wipe my face, clean up my vomit
I’m trying to recover from the unpleasant effects of my experiences.

OCD, tryna push my buttons
My obsessive thoughts are constantly testing my patience.

I said don't touch it, now y'all done it
I warned others not to provoke my feelings, but they did anyway.

I can be critical, never typical
I offer sharp, thoughtful observations that aren't conventional.

Intricate with every syllable, I'm a criminal
I craft my words carefully, reflecting complexity and depth.

Intimate, but never political, pretty visual
My art focuses on personal experiences rather than societal issues.

Even if you hate it, I'll make it feel like you're in it, though
Regardless of opinions, I aim to create immersive experiences.

You call me what you wanna, but never call me forgettable
No matter how I'm labeled, I refuse to be overlooked or ignored.

Leave you deep in thought, I could never swim in the kiddie pool
My work promotes profound reflection; I'm not here for shallow experiences.

Way that I been thinkin' is cinematic, it's beautiful
My thoughts are grand and visually striking, like a well-crafted film.

Man, I don't know if I'm makin' movies or music videos (videos, videos, videos)
I'm unsure whether my creativity translates into films or music.

Yeah, the sales can rise
Financial success in my career may appear promising.

Doesn't mean much though when your health declines
Monetary success loses value when personal well-being is compromised.

See, we've all got somethin' that we trapped inside
Everyone harbors hidden struggles or emotions that they conceal.

That we try to suffocate, you know, hopin' it dies
We often suppress these feelings, wishing they would disappear.

Try to hold it underwater but it always survives
No matter how hard we try to conceal our issues, they resurface.

Then it comes up out of nowhere like an evil surprise
These suppressed feelings can re-emerge unpredictably, causing shock.

Then it hovers over you to tell you millions of lies
These emotions can create negative narratives that deceive us.

You don't relate to that? Must not be as crazy as I am
If you don't understand these feelings, you might not share my struggles.

The point I'm makin' is the mind is a powerful place
I want to emphasize the immense influence our thoughts can have.

And what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way
The input we provide to our minds shapes our reality significantly.

It's pretty cool, right? Yeah, but it's not always safe
While the mind's power is fascinating, it can also be dangerous.

Just hang with me, this'll only take a moment, okay?
I invite you to reflect with me for a brief time.

Just think about it for a second, if you look at your face
Consider your self-perception and how it impacts you.

Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great
When you wake up feeling inadequate, it harms your self-esteem.

You'll never be great, not because you're not, but the hate
Your beliefs about failure stem not from your potential but from negativity.

Will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith (woo!)
Negative thoughts can undermine your self-belief and aspirations.

I am developin', take a look at the benefits
I'm evolving and it’s important to recognize the positive outcomes.

Nothin' to meddle with, I can never be delicate
This growth is serious, and I won’t approach it lightly.

Am I even relevant? That depends how you measure it
My significance is contingent upon perspective and context.

Take a measurement, then bag it up and give me the evidence
Evaluate my worth and provide proof of how I impact others.

Pretty evident, dependable can never be tentative
Clarity in my dependencies echoes a strong sense of self-assuredness.

I'm a gentleman, depending on if I think you're genuine
I treat people well only if I believe they are sincere.

Pretty elegant, but not afraid to tell you to get a grip
While I present myself with grace, I will call out nonsense.

Proper etiquette, I keep it to myself when I celebrate, ah (ah)
I maintain humility and discretion during my successes.

It's that time again
I feel the moment has come to initiate action.

Better grab your balloons and invite your friends
Get ready to celebrate my return and join in the joy.

Seatbelts back on, yeah, strap 'em in
Prepare for an exciting, possibly turbulent journey ahead.

Look at me, everybody, I'm smilin' big
I want to share my happiness and newfound confidence with everyone.

On a road right now that I can't predict
I'm embarking on an uncertain journey with an open mind.

Tell me, 'Tone that down,' but I can't resist
Despite others wanting me to restrain my enthusiasm, I can't hold back.

Y'all know that sound, better raise your fist
Let's unite in appreciation and celebrate this moment together.

The search begins, I'm back, so enjoy the trip, huh
My journey of self-discovery is starting; I invite you to join me.