Reid’s first single from her album ‘’Preservation’’, "Richard", saw her nominated for the APRA Silver Scroll award in 2017, regarded as New Zealand’s most important songwriting award. Reid herself was nominated for Best Solo Artist, Breakthrough Artist of the Year and Best Alternative Artist.
Just To Feel Alive
Nadia Reid Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I will break my own heart
(?)
Home I will go,
Alone I will be,
That's the life for me.
Oh yeah,
I think I do, but I don't.
Oh, and
He thinks he will, but he wont.
Maybe he'll paint me.
Maybe I will write for him,
and maybe we might...
oh yeah,
maybe we might.
How many call themselves lovers,
When really, they're creatures of the night?
Ohh, and I only do this
In my selfish skin
Just to feel alive.
Oh yeah,
Just to feel alive.
Oh and I went home with a winner
Oh and he went home with (?)
Wrapped himself around me
I nearly died
That's the life for me
Oh yeah,
That's the life for me.
How many call themselves lovers,
When really, they're creatures of the night?
Ohh, and I only do this
In my selfish skin
Just to feel alive.
Oh yeah,
Just to feel alive.
Oh yeah, just to feel alive.
Oh yeah, just to feel alive.
In "Just To Feel Alive", Nadia Reid explores the raw and intense desire for love and connection that can drive us to make choices that hurt us in the long run. The opening lines, "I broke my back trying to fight this / I will break my own heart" suggest that the singer has been fighting for something that is not worth it - perhaps a relationship or a lifestyle - and is aware that they will only end up hurting themselves. This is echoed in the chorus, where the singer admits that they engage in certain actions only "just to feel alive". The repetition of this line emphasises the emptiness of their existence, as if they are searching for something that they can only find in fleeting moments.
The second verse introduces another character, a "he" who the singer is not quite sure about. "I think I do, but I don't / Oh, and he thinks he will, but he won't" suggests a lack of trust and a feeling of being let down by others. The singer is also aware of the performative nature of modern relationships, where people can call themselves "lovers" but only really come together under the cover of darkness. The final verse describes a sexual encounter with someone the singer considers a "winner", but the aftermath is described as suffocating: "Wrapped himself around me / I nearly died".
Overall, "Just To Feel Alive" is an evocative exploration of the loneliness and disconnection that can come with a modern way of life, and the desperate search for something real that we all crave.
Line by Line Meaning
I broke my back trying to fight this.
I put in so much effort to try and overcome this problem.
I will break my own heart
In order to protect myself, I will end things with someone before they have the chance to hurt me.
(?)
Unclear reference.
Home I will go,
I will return to my safe place.
Alone I will be,
I will be by myself.
That's the life for me.
This is the lifestyle I have chosen for myself.
Oh yeah,
Expression of excitement or affirmation.
that's the life for me.
This is the lifestyle I have chosen for myself.
I think I do, but I don't.
I believe I am capable of doing something, but in reality, I am not.
Oh, and
Expression of new thought.
He thinks he will, but he wont.
Someone else believes they can do something, but they will not be able to.
Maybe he'll paint me.
Perhaps this person will create a piece of art featuring me.
Maybe I will write for him,
Perhaps I will write something for this person.
and maybe we might...
There is potential for something to develop between us.
oh yeah,
Expression of excitement or affirmation.
maybe we might.
There is potential for something to develop between us.
How many call themselves lovers,
Many people claim to be in love.
When really, they're creatures of the night?
In reality, they may be focusing on temporary, fleeting relationships rather than true love.
Ohh, and I only do this
This is my motivation for my actions.
In my selfish skin
Because of my own self-centered nature.
Just to feel alive.
I do what I do to experience a sense of being alive.
Oh yeah,
Expression of excitement or affirmation.
Just to feel alive.
I do what I do to experience a sense of being alive.
Oh and I went home with a winner
I had a successful encounter with someone.
Oh and he went home with (?)
Unclear reference.
Wrapped himself around me
This person became very close physically and emotionally.
I nearly died
The experience was so intense, it was almost overwhelming.
That's the life for me
This is the lifestyle I have chosen for myself.
Oh yeah,
Expression of excitement or affirmation.
That's the life for me.
This is the lifestyle I have chosen for myself.
Oh yeah, just to feel alive.
Reiteration of the motivation for their actions.
Writer(s): Nadia Reid O. Reilly
Contributed by Maria D. Suggest a correction in the comments below.