Her first Major Record NIPPINNO ONNAWO UTAU BEST was released in January 2016 with her long time collaborator Hiroshi Kawamura as a producer.
バカか私は
NakamuraEmi Lyrics
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ザクザクに傷ついて 鈍い痛みを抱えて
真っ暗な家に帰って 一人ぼっちで泣くしかなくて
本当は誰かに聞いて欲しい 大丈夫だって言って欲しい
今日も強く枕を 抱きしめるのよ
つまらない意地は10年前置いて来たつもりだったのに
なんかもう いいのかもしれない
ちょっと怠けたって いいのかもしれない
「いい歳して恥ずかしい」なんて窮屈なもの
一刻も早くトイレに流しちまえ
バカか私は 大事なもの いつもバックに 入れてるのに
大人になればなるほどに 恋しいものはすり抜けて
だって誰かのためにお化粧をするとか
だって誰かのために服を買うとか
だって誰かのために料理するとか
そんな幸せ 当たり前みたいに
赤信号はこのまま変わらないんじゃないかって
それでもやっぱり自分に期待なんてしながら
後悔と未来を背負って 前に進むしかないじゃんか
ちゃんと怠けてちゃんと甘えて 前に進めばいいじゃんか
店の窓に映る寂しい私なんて 一刻も早くトイレに流しちまえ
バカか私は 真っ当なふりして 強く生きて きちゃったけど
大人になればなるほどに 恋しい時は恋しいよ
バカか私は 大事なもの いつもバックに 入れてるのに
大人になればなるほどに 恋しいものは すり抜けて
だって誰かと一緒に笑い合うとか
だって誰かと一緒にご飯食べるとか
だってこの人と一緒に生きていこうとか
そんな幸せ 当たり前みたいに バカだ私は
大人になって尻もちついたら もう笑っちゃってさ
誰かに手を伸ばしちゃえばいい
In NakamuraEmi's song "バカか私は" (Am I Stupid?), the lyrics describe the confusion and pain of growing up and the pressure to seem mature and put together. The opening line talks about how falling as an adult hurts so much more than when you're a kid. The singer is bruised and hurting, returning to their dark house to cry alone. They wish someone would tell them it's going to be okay, they want to be reassured. Despite trying to let go of their childish stubbornness, it only seems to grow bigger with time. They question if it's okay to just be lazy and not care about what others think of them because the pressure to conform to societal expectations, especially as they get older, is suffocating.
Throughout the song, there is a recurring theme of holding onto things that are important to you, but realizing that as you grow older, those things slip away from you. The happiness and simplicity of doing things for someone you care about, like putting on makeup or cooking a meal, is now a distant memory. The singer asks if they're stupid for wanting those things back, for wanting to be taken care of and loved. They feel regret for things they could have done differently but know they can't change the past. And yet, they still hope for a better future, one where they can be lazy and rely on others without feeling guilty.
In summary, NakamuraEmi's "バカか私は" is a bittersweet reflection on the pains of growing up and the longing to hold on to the things that matter to us. It's a relatable reminder that even as we try to be mature and self-sufficient, we all need someone to take care of us sometimes.
Line by Line Meaning
大人になって尻もちついて転ぶのはなんでこんなに痛いんだろう
Getting older and falling on your bum is surprisingly painful
ザクザクに傷ついて 鈍い痛みを抱えて
You get hurt badly and feel the dull pain
真っ暗な家に帰って 一人ぼっちで泣くしかなくて
You go back to a dark home and cry alone
本当は誰かに聞いて欲しい 大丈夫だって言って欲しい
You really want someone to ask if you're okay and tell you that you'll be fine
今日も強く枕を 抱きしめるのよ
You hug your pillow tightly again today
つまらない意地は10年前置いて来たつもりだったのに
You thought you'd left behind your petty stubbornness a decade ago
此の期に及んで何倍にも膨れ上がってご登場
But it's only grown bigger and now makes an appearance
なんかもう いいのかもしれない
Maybe it's okay to just give up
ちょっと怠けたって いいのかもしれない
It's probably okay to slack off a little
「いい歳して恥ずかしい」なんて窮屈なもの
Feeling ashamed for your age is such a rigid thing
一刻も早くトイレに流しちまえ
Just flush it down the toilet already
バカか私は 大事なもの いつもバックに 入れてるのに
Am I stupid for keeping the important things in my bag?
大人になればなるほどに 恋しいものはすり抜けて
The more you become an adult, the more the things you love slip away
だって誰かのためにお化粧をするとか
Doing makeup for someone else
だって誰かのために服を買うとか
Buying clothes for someone else
だって誰かのために料理するとか
Cooking for someone else
そんな幸せ 当たり前みたいに
That kind of happiness just seems normal
赤信号はこのまま変わらないんじゃないかって
The traffic light might not even change
それでもやっぱり自分に期待なんてしながら
But still, you expect things from yourself
後悔と未来を背負って 前に進むしかないじゃんか
You have to move forward with regrets and the future on your shoulders
ちゃんと怠けてちゃんと甘えて 前に進めばいいじゃんか
It's okay to slack off and lean on others, you can still move forward
店の窓に映る寂しい私なんて 一刻も早くトイレに流しちまえ
That lonely reflection in the store window, just flush it down the toilet already
バカか私は 真っ当なふりして 強く生きて きちゃったけど
Am I stupid for pretending to be normal and living on strong?
大人になればなるほどに 恋しい時は恋しいよ
The more you become an adult, the more you still love certain things
だって誰かと一緒に笑い合うとか
Laughing together with someone else
だって誰かと一緒にご飯食べるとか
Eating with someone else
だってこの人と一緒に生きていこうとか
Living with this person
そんな幸せ 当たり前みたいに バカだ私は
Taking that happiness for granted, am I stupid?
大人になって尻もちついたら もう笑っちゃってさ
If you fall on your bum as an adult, you just laugh it off
誰かに手を伸ばしちゃえばいい
Just reach out to someone else
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: Emi Nakamura, Hiroshi Kawamura
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind