Trauma
Nathan Wagner Lyrics


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Trauma changes, rearranges
Takes the man I was and breaks him
Walls come up

All I am is numb and jaded
Ego splits, my soul deflated
Walls come up
These walls come up

All I ever wanted was to be loved by somebody
But the man I used to be is so far gone
Circling through memories
All this trauma gets me trembling
No, I can′t let you in, it's been too long

I′d rather feel nothing at all
Than have to deal with all the pain inside my heart
When she died I swore I'd never love again
And it's been years, but I′m still calloused up like this

All I ever wanted was to be loved by somebody
But the man I used to be is so far gone
Circling through memories
All this trauma gets me trembling
No, I can′t let you in it's been too long
The man I used to be is dead and gone

I never feel alive
′Cause fear controls my life
I try to break this bind
But all these ghosts come with their knives
Don't wanna live this way
Afraid of everything
This trauma′s taken me
I'm falling in the deep

All I ever wanted was to be loved by somebody
But the man I used to be is so far gone
Circling through memories
All this trauma gets me trembling
No, I can′t let you in, it's been too long




The man I used to be is dead and gone
The man I used to be is dead and gone

Overall Meaning

The song "Trauma" by Nathan Wagner speaks to the emotional struggles that can arise from experiencing traumatic events. The lyrics convey a sense of loss and emotional disassociation, as the singer describes feeling numb and jaded as a result of his experiences. The trauma has caused him to build walls around himself, making it difficult for him to connect with others and to experience love.


The lyrics suggest that the trauma has changed the man the singer used to be, and that he is struggling to accept this new version of himself. He is haunted by memories of the past and is unable to move on, leading him to feel like the person he once was is "dead and gone." His fear and trauma are so overwhelming that he would rather feel nothing at all than have to deal with the pain inside his heart.


Overall, the song "Trauma" is a powerful exploration of the emotional toll that trauma can take on individuals. It highlights the challenges of facing and coping with trauma, and how it can fundamentally alter one's sense of self.


Line by Line Meaning

Trauma changes, rearranges
Trauma has the power to alter and reorganize one's thoughts, feelings, and behavior.


Takes the man I was and breaks him
Trauma shatters one's self-identity and sense of oneself.


Walls come up
As a coping mechanism, one builds emotional walls to protect oneself from further hurt and pain.


All I am is numb and jaded
One becomes emotionally desensitized and loses faith in the goodness of the world.


Ego splits, my soul deflated
Trauma can result in feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.


These walls come up
The emotional walls continue to be reinforced and strengthened as a defense mechanism.


All I ever wanted was to be loved by somebody
A deep desire for emotional connection and validation from others.


But the man I used to be is so far gone
The effects of trauma have changed one's sense of self and identity to the point where it feels unrecognizable.


Circling through memories
Repetitive and intrusive thoughts of past traumatic experiences.


All this trauma gets me trembling
The physical and emotional reactions that trauma can trigger.


No, I can′t let you in, it's been too long
The fear of vulnerability and opening up to others due to past hurt and trauma.


I′d rather feel nothing at all
Numbness and emotional detachment as a way of coping with the pain of trauma.


Than have to deal with all the pain inside my heart
The intense emotional pain that trauma can cause.


When she died I swore I'd never love again
The trauma of losing a loved one can lead to a fear of loving and losing again.


And it's been years, but I′m still calloused up like this
The long-lasting effects of trauma on one's emotional state and well-being.


I never feel alive
The emotional numbness and detachment that can result from trauma.


′Cause fear controls my life
Fear can become a dominant emotion in one's life after experiencing trauma.


I try to break this bind
The desire to overcome the effects of trauma and move forward.


But all these ghosts come with their knives
Traumatic memories can haunt and harm one's emotional state.


Don't wanna live this way
The desire to break free from the negative effects of trauma on one's life.


Afraid of everything
The pervasive and debilitating fear that trauma can instill in one's life.


This trauma′s taken me
The power that trauma can have on one's emotional, mental, and physical state.


I'm falling in the deep
The feeling of being overwhelmed and sucked under by the effects of trauma.


The man I used to be is dead and gone
The way that trauma can change one's sense of self and identity to the point where it feels like a former version of oneself no longer exists.




Writer(s): Nathan Wagner

Contributed by Evelyn A. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

LoneW0lf07

Here are the lyrics to this true masterpiece of music:

Trauma changes, rearranges
Takes the man I was, and breaks him
Walls come up
All I am is numb and jaded
Ego splits, my soul deflated
Walls come up
These walls come up

All I´ve ever wanted was to be loved my somebody
But the man I used to be is so far gone
Circling through memories, all this trauma gets me trembling
No I can´t let you in, it´s been too long

I´d rather feel nothing at all, than have to deal with all the pain inside my heart
When she died I swore I´d never love again
And it´s been years but I´m calloused up like this

All I ever wanted was to be loved by somebody
But the man I used to be is so far gone
Circling through memories, all this trauma gets me trembling
No I can´t let you in, it´s been too long
But the man I used to be is dead and gone

I never feel alive, cause fear controls my life
I try to break this bind, but all these ghosts come with their knives
Don´t want to live this way, afraid of everything
This trauma´s taken me, I´m falling in the deep

All I ever wanted was to be loved by somebody
But the man I used to be is so far gone
Circling through memories, all this trauma gets me trembling
No I can´t let you in, it´s been too long
The man I used to be is dead and gone
The man I used to be is dead and gone


Gotta say, really impressed by this one Nathan. My girl died in October last year and your music really helped me to get through this. Can really relate to this one ❤️❤️❤️



Rein Striver

This song, for me at least, is probably the best one you've made thus far. The instrumentals are no short of breath taking, I wouldn't even be mad if the entire thing was just the instrumental music!
And not to mention the lyrics, oh god the lyrics are so pure and incredible! You've gone through a lot huh buddy? I wish you nothing but the best in the coming years and your whole Future Nathan, you deserve to be heard and listened to. Someone so talented is a rarity, I really can't compare you to any other singer because you hit all the right spots in the right ways.
Be it Vocals, Instrumentals or lyrics. The meanings of the songs themselves and everything about your music is just the epitome of perfection when it comes to making the listener emotional and thinking about life and themselves.

Those lyrics, "When she died I swore I'd never love again" hit me hard because I imagined losing the person I've fallen deeply for, she has health problems so at times I can't help but worry about her. This song makes me appreciate what I have and what I've found even more, thank you for writing such beautiful music! Thank you for making me appreciate my relationship so much more!
The lyrics "All I ever wanted was to be loved by somebody" also resonates with me, because before finding love I didn't find meaning to my life, it helped me like myself and gave me confidence in myself. It helped me choose a career path for my future and Gave me an actual future to look forward to. It's the reason I love my significant other so much, because of how much positivity she has given to my life.

Again, this song made me appreciate all I have so much more... I hope you understand how much your music changes the lives of people and helps them understand themselves and their lives.

You deserve to be Happy, to be heard and to always shine for others with your music. It makes a huge change for many people's lives, I even have a friend who always listens to your song "Innocence" when she's sad, because the song apparently helps her a lot.

I would say Good luck in your career, but the world just won't and can't stay ignorant forever.
I will however say good luck with your life and relations, I hope you will always continue to be an inspiration for all of us listeners!

You're the best Music artist I know! Go Nathan! Show us and the world what you can do!



All comments from YouTube:

Nathan Wagner

Here's my new song "Trauma." It means a ton to me. Writing is the best way for me to find clarity. Writing this one gave me a ton. A lot of the "Traumatic" things I went through changed the way I thought and saw the world. Which changed the way I unconsciously reacted to everything. In the deepest part of my heart, love and connection are the only things that I actually long for. But because of the things that have happened, I'll often truly believe I'm unworthy.

Love you all. Hope you like the song. It's available on all streaming platforms :)

Loch-Tobias F

This song has just a moving meaning to it and the lyrics really hit hard. Lots of love for you Nathan ❤

sarah brown

You are worthy Nathan Wagner, you don’t know me but you’ve helped me so many ways. Your worthy Nathan Wagner, your an amazing artist. Stay safe and stay strong sir💕

Alvea Jean Capulong

thank youuu!!! love your songs 🥺🧡

Goof Ball

Thank You ❤️

Tasia 🧠🥀🕊️

You deserve all the love in the world Nathan♥️

62 More Replies...

Ornela Kaçi

Trauma makes you afraid of every little thing. You feel like a turtle under the shell because you do not want to face that sad reality. The best way is not forgetting it, but growing out of it.
Thank you Nathan Wagner for this beautiful and truthful song💕👏👏

Nathan Wagner

Thank you for listening🙏

Elizabeth

Trauma is something your brain learnt. It was it's way to react to specific circumstances.... and if you learnt it, you can learn again to manage your thoughts, how that makes you feel, and after a lot of hardwork, you'll realise that trauma is in the past now... you achieve peace and happiness. I still having some nightmares, and sometimes it seems the trauma is back... but one step at a time... and you'll arrive~

Mateo Nicolas Rosado

When I heard you for the first time, I considered you one in millions of singers; but since I started listening to your lyrics, reading your comments and thinking about this life from your point of view, I have already known you are special, because every part of every song of yours means something deep and significant, and if I hadn't had that thought, I wouldn't have seen this way to watch the world. Thank you so much. Greetings from Peru.

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