침묵의 역사 History of Silence
Nell Lyrics


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사실은 그게 아니라고
홧김에 그냥 한번 해 본
얘기라고
웃어넘길 수 없겠냐고
말해주길 바랬지
사실 정확히 반대라고
솔직히 너도 내 맘 다
알고 있지 않냐고
붙잡아 주길 바란다고
말해주길 바랬지
하지만 이미 넌 꽤 오랜
동안 준비해 온 듯 해
니 안엔 더 이상 내가
머물 곳 따윈 없는 듯해
좀 지쳤던 것뿐이라고
누구나 가끔 그럴 때가
있지 않냐고
위로해 주면 안되냐고
말해주길 바랬지
아직도 잘 모르겠냐고
조금 더 안아주길 바란 것
뿐이라고
그렇게 해 줄 수 없겠냐고
말해주길 바랬지
하지만 이미 넌 꽤 오랜
동안 준비해 온 듯 해
니 안엔 더 이상 내가
머물 곳 따윈 없는 듯해
이제와 이런 생각 쓸데
없단 걸 알지만
미리 조금이라도 미리
알았더라면
지금과는 좀 달라졌을까
달라지긴 했을까
니가 아니면 안 된다고
너무 흔한 말이라 조금
그렇긴 해도




머물러 주길 바란다고
말해 볼 걸 그랬지

Overall Meaning

In NELL's song 침묵의 역사 History of Silence, the lyrics express the inner turmoil and regret felt by the singer as they confront a past decision. The singer admits that what they previously stated was not the truth and just something they said on a whim. They hoped that the listener would brush it off and not take it seriously. However, the truth was the opposite, and the singer wishes that the listener knew how they truly felt. The singer wanted to be held and comforted, but it seems that the listener had been distant for a long time, giving the impression that they do not have a place in the listener's life anymore.


The singer acknowledges that everyone has moments when they feel tired and need some comfort. They admit that they cannot stop thinking about how they wished that the listener had hugged them a little bit more. Despite knowing that their thoughts at this point are useless, the singer expresses regret that they did not come to this realization sooner. The singer wonders if things would have turned out differently if they had recognized this earlier. Lastly, the singer says that even though saying "I cannot live without you" is a common phrase, they wished they had said it; they wished they had asked the listener to stay.


Line by Line Meaning

사실은 그게 아니라고
In truth, I didn't mean what I said, it was just a momentary thought.


홧김에 그냥 한번 해 본 얘기라고
I spoke on impulse, it wasn't a genuine feeling.


웃어넘길 수 없겠냐고 말해주길 바랬지
I hoped you would understand my true intentions and not take it seriously.


사실 정확히 반대라고
In reality, I meant the opposite of what I said.


솔직히 너도 내 맘 다 알고 있지 않냐고
Honestly, don't you already know how I feel?


붙잡아 주길 바란다고 말해주길 바랬지
I hoped you would hold onto me and not let go.


하지만 이미 넌 꽤 오랜 동안 준비해 온 듯 해
But it seems like you have been preparing for this for a long time.


니 안엔 더 이상 내가 머물 곳 따윈 없는 듯해
It feels like I no longer have a place in your heart.


좀 지쳤던 것뿐이라고
It was just a passing feeling of exhaustion.


누구나 가끔 그럴 때가 있지 않냐고
Don't we all feel this way sometimes?


위로해 주면 안되냐고 말해주길 바랬지
I hoped you would comfort me and tell me everything will be okay.


아직도 잘 모르겠냐고
I still don't fully understand what's going on.


조금 더 안아주길 바란 것 뿐이라고
All I wanted was for you to hold me a little longer.


그렇게 해 줄 수 없겠냐고 말해주길 바랬지
I hoped you could grant my wish, but it seems impossible.


이제와 이런 생각 쓸데 없단 걸 알지만
I know it's useless to think about it now, but I can't help it.


미리 조금이라도 미리 알았더라면
If only I had known even a little bit ahead of time.


지금과는 좀 달라졌을까 달라지긴 했을까
Would things have been different from how they are now?


니가 아니면 안 된다고 너무 흔한 말이라 조금 그렇긴 해도
Although it's a common phrase, it's true that it can't be anyone but you.


머물러 주길 바란다고 말해 볼 걸 그랬지
I should have told you that all I wanted was for you to stay with me.




Contributed by Aaliyah K. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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