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15 Reasons
by Nick Helm

I've got five good reasons to make you stay!
I've got five good reasons to make you stay!
I've got five good reasons to make you stay!
I've got five good reasons to make you stay!
Number one!
I got a real nice house,
I share it with my parents, but they're quiet as a mouse.
And I realise the plural of mouse is mice,
So if you're picturing a mouse, you better picture it twice!
Number two!
I'm reliable,
I'll never leave your side and I'll be there when you call.
I'll always remember important dates,
I'm punctual, yes, I'm hardly ever late.
Number three!
I'm handy wiht a tool,
I'm good at cleaning gutters, yes, I ain't no fool!
I'll go to the mall on Sunday,
I'll do the weekly shopping,
I'll even chop the wood if the wood needs chopping!
Number four!
I don't like football,
If I'm honest with myself, I don't get it, at all,
All the teams and the players look just the same,
If I had to sum it up I'd say it's just a game!
Number five!
I'm good at cookin'!
I've got five more reasons to make you stay!
I've got five more reasons to make you stay!
I've got five more reasons to make you stay!
I've got five more reasons to make you stay!
Number six!
I like walking on the beach,
Sunsets and fireworks, the shit you can't teach,
Dogs and monkeys, hamsters and parrots,
I'll buy a pot of humus and I'll serve it up with carrots!
Number seven!
Heaven, heaven, heaven.
Heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven.
Heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven.
Heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, me and you in Devon!
Number eight!
Devon, Devon, Devon.
Devon, Devon, Devon, Devon, Devon, Devon, Devon,
Devon, Devon, Devon, Devon, Devon, Devon, Devon,
Devon, Devon, Devon, Devon, me and you in Heaven!
Number nine!
I'm really sensitive,
I realise I might be a bit too sensitive,
But if I can try and be a bit less sensitive,
I'll be the just right amount of sensitive!
Number ten!
I'm good at fuckin'!
I've got five last reasons to make you stay!
I've got five last reasons to make you stay!
I've got five last reasons to make you stay!
I've got five last reasons to make you stay!
Number eleven!
Okay, I'm not so good at fuckin',
I'm willing to improve and that's surely worth something,
I'll buy a book about it, I'll practise on my breathing.
I'll do anything you want me to if it'll stop your leaving!
Number twelve!
I'll buy ya some stuff,
I'll buy ya so much stuff until it's enough,
'Cause I know you're a very materialistic girl,
So the stuff that I buy you will be the best stuff in the world!
Number fourteen!
Hey, what happened to thirteen?
Well, thirteen is unlucky so I skipped that one!
And I've changed the rhyming structure in the end,
But you've gotta understand that it's a real long song!
Number fifteen!
I bought a gun!
I've got fifteen reasons to make you stay!
I've got fifteen reasons to make you stay!
I've got fifteen reasons to make you stay!
I've got fifteen reasons to make you stay!
I've got fifteen reasons to make you stay!
I've got fifteen reasons to make you stay!
I've got fifteen reasons to make you stay!
I've got fifteen reasons to make you stay!

Contributed by Wyatt Y. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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