Nick Helm, Bang! Bang! Bang! Man It's Vietnam!: We need your help!

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Bang! Bang! Bang! Man It's Vietnam!
by Nick Helm

It doesn't matter who began the fight,
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right,
It doesn't matter what I didn't do,
You won't be happy 'til we're black and blue.
All I know is that we're here again,
I guess we're gonna have to share the blame.
I didn't do the shopping, now the shops are closed,
You didn't do the washing, now I've got no clothes,
I left the coffee cup beside the sink,
You are the reason why I turn to drink,
You're always going on about your ex,
I'm really sorry I'm no good at sex!
Oh well, oh, bang, bang, bang! Man, it's Vietnam!
Nobody wins, I guess nobody cares!
Oh well, oh, bang, bang, bang! Man, it's Vietnam!
I didn't know this was part of your plan!
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!
Bang, bang, bang! Man, it's Vietnam!
You can go get ready now for two hours straight,
If it takes you any longer then we'll both be late.
How long does it take to do your fucking face?
When the fuck do you think we can leave this place?
Go and put your make-up on and dry your hair,
Yes, you look fantastic, now let's go downstairs.
You test my patience and you push my limits,
We gotta leave the house within the next five minutes,
Go and put your earrings on and grab your purse,
It always takes you ages but you're getting worse,
I don't mind if you wear fucking heels or flats,
No, your dress does not make you look fucking fat.
Oh well, oh, bang, bang, bang! Man, it's Vietnam!
We're all in trouble like Afghanistan!
Oh well, oh, bang, bang, bang! Man, it's Vietnam!
We're in the middle of a cluster bomb!
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb!
Bomb, bomb, bomb! Man, it's Vietnam!
We're nearly at the doorway,
Where've you put my keys?
What do you mean, you haven't moved my keys?
I've been looking everywhere for my keys,
Where have you put the keys? Where've you put them?
You had them last.
I do love you. I do love you.
I do look at other girls,
I do like your mum!
Stop changing the fucking subject,
Where are the fucking keys?
What's the point in having a by the backdoor,
If you're never gonna fucking use it?
Where are the keys?
Where are the keys?
Where are the keys?
Where are the keys?
Where, oh, they were in my pocket.
Oh well, oh, bang, bang, bang! Man, it's Vietnam!
I can't remember when this shit began!
Bash, bash, bash! Man, it's Vietnash!
We're in the middle of a crash
Bash, bash, bash, bash, bash, bash, bash!
Nobody wins, just like Vietnash!
Oh well, oh, bang, bang, bang! Man, it's Vietnam!
I can't remember when this shit began!
Oh well, oh, bang, bang, bong! Man, it's Vietnam!

Contributed by James M. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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