Dear Old Nicki
Nicki Minaj Lyrics

Maybe you died 'cause everybody ask me where you at
People keep asking me why you're not around, it feels like you've died.

I try to channel you in hopes that I could stare you back
I try to remember your essence so I can feel your presence again.

But it's like every intersection we just missed each other
It seems like we're always close yet always apart.

You got your fans waitin' tell me you ain't six feet under
Your fans are waiting for you to come back, I hope you're not dead.

And tell me that you coming back and you just took a break
Please come back and tell me you've just been taking a break.

Maybe I blamed you for everything that was my mistake
I might have put blame on you for things that were my fault.

In hindsight I loved your rawness and I loved your edge
Looking back, I loved the unique qualities that you had.

'Cause it was you who talked me down from jumpin' off the ledge
You saved me from making a big mistake, and I'm grateful.

Your earrings bamboo, your long nails too
I remember all the small details about you, like your bamboo earrings and long nails.

You was the braveheart
You were always fearless and strong-willed.

You stole Wayne heart
Lil Wayne was deeply enamoured with you.

You never switched it up
You stayed true to yourself and never changed.

You played the same part
You stayed true to your character and never wavered.

But I needed to grow
I needed to change and evolve as a person.

And I needed to know
I needed to discover and explore new experiences.

Well, there were some things inside of me that I need to show
There were parts of myself that I needed to express more openly.

So I just deaded you
I left you behind and moved on.

Left you in all black
I left you alone and cut you out completely.

But dear old Nicki
But I still hold a special place in my heart for the old you.

Please call back
I wish you would come back and be a part of my life again.

You told me you'd come when I needed you
You promised to always be there for me when I needed you.

And you said it so sweetly I believed you
You said it with such sincerity that I had no doubt you would follow through.

But I'm standing here calling, I can't see you
Now I'm trying to reach out to you, but I can't find you anywhere.

But I am holding you, holding you, holding you to that
But I'm still holding onto the hope that you'll come back to me.

Yo, did I chase the glitz and glamor
I wonder if I became too focused on fame and fortune.

Money, fame and power?
Were those things that mattered most to me in the end?

'Cause if so that will forever go down my lamest hour
If that's true, then that will always be my biggest regret.

I shoulda kept you with me, gettin' at them nameless cowards
I should have stuck with you and fought against our enemies together.

There was no match for you, couldn't defeat your prowess
Your strength and talent were unmatched, no one could compete with you.

I had to make them changes, I hope you understood
I had to make some changes in my life, and I hope you know why I did it.

You see for every bad, I did a ton of good
For every mistake I made, I did a lot of good things as well.

But you was underground and I was mainstream
You were still relatively unknown, while I had become a big name in the music industry.

I live the life now that we would daydream
I've achieved a lot of success, and it's the kind of life we used to daydream about.

My only wish is you come enjoy it with me
But I wish you were here to share it with me.

Get on them conference calls, go meet the lawyers with me
I wish you were here to help me make important business decisions.

The money came, yeah, tripled and quadrupled it
I made a lot of money, and it multiplied quickly.

But I still miss us when we was just on some stupid shit
But I still miss the times when we were just young and carefree.

And it's still fuck the media
I still have a negative opinion of the media.

They ridiculed you, never believed in ya
They made fun of you and never had faith in you.

And, yes, I'm holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you
And yes, I'm still holding onto the hope that you'll come back someday.

And, yes, I'm holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you to that
I'm still holding onto the promise you made to always be there for me.