The single takes the listener through the motions of her rocky relationship with a long-distance college student in North Carolina. Despite their “puppy love,” NIKI admits that things will never be the same since “before” is not the now.
"I feel it’s ironically poetic to open this new chapter [of my career] by telling you how it ends first. I’m so proud of it, and I can’t think of a better song to introduce the ultimate break-up record I’ve always fantasized of putting out, but somehow haven’t… until now."
– NIKI, press release
Before
Niki Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
It was Halloweekend, I just flew across the globe
Twenty-two hours just to see you
Just to barely fit on your twin-sized bed
And talk about your cool new friend
Who I never met, who you dated as soon as I left
Carolina autumn
Since we ended it
Had a year to grow into the girl you always wanted
Now we're holding hands as not quite friends
But not quite lovers
Well, we'll just pretend
You say, "It's complicated to make amends"
Well, is that the way that we're headed then?
And you couldn't answer me
Though you could pull me in while I brushed my teeth
And let your hands both freely speak
Like I wasn't ever gonna leave, leave
You were all I'd ever known
And now I'm supposed to love you from a distance
Like it's nothing, like it's instant
And you say, "Let's just see where this goes"
And I don't know how or why you seem just fine
'Cause I'm having to grasp that you're somehow not mine anymore
It's so cruel how things are only almost like they were before
Like they were before
Like they were before
Like they were before
We walk downtown and it's charming
You're alarmingly disarming
Yeah, we've got forty-eight hours left
Before I fly back to my death
While you stay just fine and feel alive
South of the Mason-Dixon line
Where everyone closes shop at nine
Where you could somehow finally find
What you were desperately looking for
Funny how you thought that was gonna be New York
With our chalkboard walls and slanted floors
Oh, we could've had that and so much more
Ask your new lover what it's like to be given
A real fighting chance before you wish her, "Good riddance"
Did anything ever really count
Or was I just a two-year practice round?
You were all I'd ever known
And now I'm feeling stupid, you're forbidden
They say, yeah, we were something, too bad we were children
Ooh, I don't know where to go
And I don't know how or why you seem just fine
'Cause I'm looking at you and God knows you're not mine anymore
It's so cruel how things will never be the way they were before
Like they were before
It's almost just like how it was before
But it's not anymore
The song "Before" by Niki is a heart-wrenching track about the complexities of love and the pain of nostalgia. The lyrics describe a past relationship that has ended, but the two individuals remain connected in some way. The first verse talks about the singer flying across the globe to see her former lover during Halloweekend. Though they lie together in a tiny bed, the dissonance between them becomes evident with the introduction of the ex's "cool new friend" who he dated after the singer left.
The second part of the song is set in Carolina autumn, where the two meet again after a year. They still hold hands and spend time together, although they're not quite friends nor lovers. The singer is struggling to accept that her former partner is moving on as if nothing has changed. The line "you couldn't answer me, though you could pull me in while I brushed my teeth" reveals how the ex is unable to communicate verbally yet initiates physical intimacy, which the singer finds emotionally confusing.
Towards the end, the lyrics mention the pain of seeing the ex find happiness elsewhere. The singer reminisces about the life they could have had together, but she ultimately understands that the past is long gone. The song's emotional depth lies in its ability to convey the deep regret and yearning that comes with the knowledge that things will never be the same again.
Line by Line Meaning
You hid me in your dorm room
You kept our relationship hidden from everyone else
It was Halloweekend, I just flew across the globe
I went to visit you on Halloween weekend despite the distance
Twenty-two hours just to see you
I spent 22 hours traveling to be with you
Just to barely fit on your twin-sized bed
We had to share a small bed because of limited space
And talk about your cool new friend
You wanted to tell me about your new friend who I had not met yet
Who I never met, who you dated as soon as I left
You started dating your new friend who I never met as soon as I left
Carolina autumn
We were together in the autumn in North Carolina
It had been a year since I saw you
It had been a year since we last saw each other
Since we ended it
Since we broke up
Had a year to grow into the girl you always wanted
I had a year to become the person you always wanted me to be
Now we're holding hands as not quite friends
We are holding hands, but we are not sure if we are friends or something more
But not quite lovers
We are not officially together or dating
Well, we'll just pretend
We will pretend that everything is okay between us
You say, "It's complicated to make amends"
You think it's difficult to fix things between us
Well, is that the way that we're headed then?
Are we headed towards trying to fix things between us?
And you couldn't answer me
You were unable to answer me honestly
Though you could pull me in while I brushed my teeth
You were able to be physically intimate with me even though you couldn't communicate with me
And let your hands both freely speak
You used physical touch to communicate with me
Like I wasn't ever gonna leave, leave
You acted like I was never going to leave you
You were all I'd ever known
You were the only person I had ever been with
And now I'm supposed to love you from a distance
I am expected to love you from afar
Like it's nothing, like it's instant
As if everything is easy and we can just move on like nothing happened
And you say, "Let's just see where this goes"
You want to see where our relationship goes, but you are not committed to anything
And I don't know how or why you seem just fine
I don't understand how or why you are able to act like everything is okay between us
'Cause I'm having to grasp that you're somehow not mine anymore
I am struggling to accept that we are not together anymore
We walk downtown and it's charming
We take a walk downtown and enjoy the atmosphere
You're alarmingly disarming
You are charming and disarming, making it difficult for me to stay angry at you
Yeah, we've got forty-eight hours left
We only have 48 hours left together
Before I fly back to my death
I have to return to my life that I don't enjoy
While you stay just fine and feel alive
While you stay behind and continue to live your life normally
South of the Mason-Dixon line
You are in the southern United States
Where everyone closes shop at nine
Where businesses close early in the evening
Where you could somehow finally find
Where you finally found what you were looking for
What you were desperately looking for
You were searching for something that you really wanted
Funny how you thought that was gonna be New York
You thought you would find what you were looking for in New York, but you didn't
With our chalkboard walls and slanted floors
With our apartment that had unique features
Oh, we could've had that and so much more
We could have had a nice life together
Ask your new lover what it's like to be given
You should ask your new partner what it's like to be treated well
A real fighting chance before you wish her, "Good riddance"
You should treat your new partner with respect instead of pushing her away
Did anything ever really count
Did anything we had between us ever matter?
Or was I just a two-year practice round?
Was our relationship just an experiment or a trial run?
And now I'm feeling stupid, you're forbidden
I feel foolish for still being attracted to you after everything we've been through
They say, yeah, we were something, too bad we were children
People say that we were together for a while, but we were too young and immature
Ooh, I don't know where to go
I am not sure what to do next
It's so cruel how things will never be the way they were before
It's disappointing that our relationship will never be like it was in the past
Like they were before
Like our relationship was in the past
It's almost just like how it was before
Sometimes it feels like our relationship is still the same as it was before
But it's not anymore
But our relationship has changed now and things are not the same
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Nicole Zefanya
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@oompawompa9769
THE LYRICS:
You hid me in your dorm room, it was Halloweekend
I just flew across the globe, 22 hours just to see you
Just to barely fit on your twin-sized bed
And talk about your cool new friend
Who I never met, who you dated as soon as I left
Carolina autumn, it had been a year since I saw ya
Since we ended it, had a year to grow into the girl you always wanted
Now we’re holding hands
As not quite friends, but not quite lovers
Well, we’ll just pretend
You say, “It’s complicated to make amends”
Well, is that the way that we’re headed, then?
And you couldn’t answer me
Though you could pull me in while I brushed my teeth
And let your hands both freely speak
Like I wasn’t ever gonna leave
You were all I’d ever known
And now I’m supposed to love you from a distance
Like it’s nothing, like it’s instant
And you say, “Let’s just see where this goes”
And I don’t know how or why you seem just fine
‘Cause I’m havin’ to grasp that you’re somehow not mine anymore
It’s so cruel how things are only almost like they were before
(Ah, ah, ah)
Like they were before (Ah, ah, ah)
Like they were before (Ah, ah, ah)
Like they were before (Ah, ah, ah)
We walk downtown and it’s charming
You’re alarmingly disarming
Yeah, we’ve got 48 hours left before I fly back to my death
While you stay just fine and feel alive
South of the Mason-Dixon line
Where everyone closes shop at 9
Where you could somehow finally find
What you were desperately looking for
Funny how you thought that was gonna be New York
With our chalkboard walls and slanted floors
Oh, we could’ve had that and so much more
Ask your new lover what it’s like to be given
A real fighting chance before you wish her, “Good riddance”
Did anything ever really count, or was I just a two-year practice round?
You were all I’d ever known
And now I’m feeling stupid, you’re forbidden
They say yeah we were something, too bad we were children
Oh, I don’t know where to go
And I don’t know how or why you seem just fine
‘Cause I’m lookin’ at you and God knows you’re not mine anymore
It’s so cruel how things will never be the way they were before
(Ah, ah, ah)
Like they were before (Ah, ah, ah)
It’s almost just like how it was before (Ah, ah, ah)
But it’s not anymore
@NIKIZFNY
New album “Nicole” out August 12th. Pre-order/pre-save: https://niki.lnk.to/Nicole
@momentswithbankee270
I love you Nicole ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@akamsi82
Hi
@anjonathanielcomaling4028
Before NIKI
@anjonathanielcomaling4028
Every Summertime NIKI
@anjonathanielcomaling4028
NIKI Songs
@88rising
👑👑👑
@Pops-Calicoes
👑👑👑
@jinnilovely5573
Queen Niki back
@justshortsnow
Thank you 88rising