John Allyn Smith Sails
Okkervil River Lyrics

By the second verse, dear friends My head will burst, my life will end So I'd like to start this one off by saying Live and love
The singer expresses their fear of dying before the end of the song and encourages the listeners to appreciate life and love.

I was young and at home in bed And I was hanging on the words some poem said And thirty-one I was impressionable, I was upsettable
The singer remembers being young and vulnerable, trying to find meaning in poetry, and feeling easily influenced by others.

I tried to make my breathing stop, my heart beat slow So when my mom and John came in I would be cold
The singer attempted suicide by slowing down their vital signs to the point of feigning death, hoping to get attention from their mother and John.

From a bridge on Washington Avenue The year of 1972 Broke my bones and skull And it was memorable
The singer jumped off a bridge in 1972 and severely injured themselves, making it a memorable and life-changing experience.

It was half a second and I was halfway down Do you think I wanted to turn back around And teach a class Where you kiss the ass that I've exposed to you
The singer had no second thoughts about jumping and resented the idea of going back to teach insincere students who had not gone through the same life-altering experience.

And at the funeral the university Cried at three poems they'd present in place of a broken me
The university honored the singer's death with three poems, representing regret and sorrow for not understanding the singer's pain and struggles while they were alive.

I was breaking in a case of suds At the brass rail, a fall-down drunk With his tongue torn out And his balls removed
The singer recalls a depressing scene at a pub where they witnessed a tongueless and castrated man who had been severely beaten.

And I knew that my last lines were gone While stupidly I lingered on Other wise men know When it's time to go and so I should too
The singer realizes that they missed their chance to write their last lines and wishes they had died earlier like other wise men who knew when it was time to leave.

And so I fly into the brightest winter sun Of this frozen town I'm stripped down to move on My friends, I'm gone
The singer uses a metaphor of flying into the sun to represent their acceptance of death and moving on from their life in the town.

Well, I hear my father fall and I hear my mother call And I hear the others all whispering, come home I'm sorry to go, I loved you all so But this is the worst trip I've ever been on
The singer imagines their parents and others mourning their death and apologizes for leaving them but emphasizes their suffering in life led them to an inevitable end.

So hoist up the John B. sail (Hoist up the John B. sail) See how the main sail sets (See how the main sail sets)
The singer references a traditional folk song about sailing to highlight the theme of moving on and leaving behind their old life and struggles.

I've folded my heart in my head And I wanna go home With a book in my hand In the way I had planned Well, this is the worst trip I've ever been on
The singer wants to go home with their favorite book as they have accepted their fate but still feel overwhelmed by the pain and hardships of their life.

I feel so broke up I wanna go home
The singer expresses their broken and tired state of mind, wishing to rest and find peace at home.