Why Can't the English
Original Broadway Cast Lyrics

Henry Look at her, a prisoner of the gutter,
Henry is commenting on Eliza's poor social status, and how it restricts her interactions with the rest of society.

Condemned by every syllable she ever uttered.
Henry believes that Eliza's poor grammar and pronunciation make her sound less intelligent and less reputable to those around her.

By law she should be taken out and hung,
Henry exaggerates the importance of speaking proper English by making it seem as if it is a punishable offense to speak poorly.

For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue.
Henry believes that Eliza's inability to speak proper English is ruining the language itself.

Aaoooww! Henry imitating her Aaoooww!
Eliza's cry is a jarring and unpleasant sound to Henry's refined ears.

Heaven's! What a noise!
Henry is exclaiming in frustration at the sound of Eliza's cries.

This is what the British population,
Eliza's speech patterns are representative of the overall population of Britain.

Calls an elementary education. Pickering Oh,
Pickering believes that Eliza's speech patterns are indicative of her low level of education.

Counsel, I think you picked a poor example. Henry Did I?
Pickering disagrees with Henry's assessment of Eliza, but Henry is dismissive and questioning of Pickering's opinion.

Hear them down in Soho square,
Henry is pointing out the prevalence of poor English in a specific London location.

Dropping "h's" everywhere.
Henry is referencing the tendency of people in Soho Square to drop their 'h' sounds when speaking.

Speaking English anyway they like.
Henry is frustrated by the lack of rules around how people in Soho Square are speaking English.

You sir, did you go to school?
Henry is questioning the education of a man he is speaking with.

Man Wadaya tike me for, a fool?
The man is defensive about his speech patterns and is questioning Henry's apparent judgment.

Henry No one taught him 'take' instead of 'tike!
Henry is mocking the man for pronouncing 'take' as 'tike' and suggesting that he was never taught the proper way to say it.

Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?
Henry is questioning the education system in Britain and why children are not being taught proper English.

This verbal class distinction, by now,
Henry believes that the divide between proper and improper English is a distinction that should no longer exist.

Should be antique. If you spoke as she does, sir,
Henry is suggesting that Eliza's speech patterns are considered old-fashioned and outdated.

Instead of the way you do,
Henry is saying that the man he is speaking with should try speaking like Eliza to understand her perspective.

Why, you might be selling flowers, too!
Henry is suggesting that the man might be in the same low-status position as Eliza if he spoke like her.

Hear a Yorkshireman, or worse,
Henry is using regional dialects like Yorkshire and Cornwall to further emphasize his point about poor English speaking.

Hear a Cornishman converse,
Henry is suggesting that the Cornish dialect is particularly hard to understand or unpleasant to listen to.

I'd rather hear a choir singing flat.
Henry would prefer to listen to something musically unpleasant like a choir singing flat than listen to poor English.

Chickens cackling in a barn Just like this one!
Henry is saying that even the sound of chickens is preferable to poor English.

Eliza Garn! Henry I ask you, sir, what sort of word is that?
Henry is pointing out how Eliza's vocabulary further marks her as from a lower social class.

It's "Aoooow" and "Garn" that keep her in her place.
Henry believes that Eliza's speech patterns are a contributing factor to the class barriers around her.

Not her wretched clothes and dirty face.
Henry is pointing out that it is not just Eliza's appearance, but also her speech, that marks her as from a lower class.

This verbal class distinction by now should be antique.
Henry believes that the divide between proper and improper English is an outdated concept.

An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him,
Henry believes that someone's speech patterns are indicative of their social class, and that this divide should not exist.

The moment he talks he makes some other Englishman despise him.
Henry is saying that the act of speaking is enough to create class divides.

One common language I'm afraid we'll never get.
Henry is suggesting that a unified language across all English speakers is unlikely to happen.

Oh, why can't the English learn to set
Henry is questioning why it is so difficult for the English to learn proper English.

A good example to people whose English is painful to your ears?
Henry is questioning why English speakers can't set a good example for others who struggle with the language.

The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.
Henry believes that the speech of the Scottish and Irish is hard to understand or unpleasant to listen to.

There even are places where English completely Disappears.
Henry is saying that there are locations in Britain where English is not spoken at all.

In America, they haven't used it for years!
Henry is insinuating that Americans have their own version of English that has diverged from British English.

Norwegians learn Norwegian; the Greeks have taught their Greek.
Henry is saying that other cultures value their own languages and teach them effectively.

In France every Frenchman knows His language fro "A" to "Zed"
Henry is claiming that the French are particularly good at speaking their own language.

The French never care what they do, actually,
Henry is poking fun at the French for seemingly not taking their language seriously despite their proficiency.

As long as they pronounce in properly.
Henry is saying that the French value pronunciation above all else when it comes to their language.

Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning.
Henry is complimenting Arabian speakers for their quick ability to pick up their own language.

And Hebrews learn it backwards,
Henry is saying that Hebrew speakers can reverse the order of the letters and still be able to read their language.

Which is absolutely frightening.
Henry is using humor to describe how difficult Hebrew must be to learn.

But use proper English you're regarded as a freak.
Henry is pointing out that speaking proper English puts one in a minority and is unusual.

Why can't the English,
Henry is frustrated that it seems impossible for British people to learn how to speak proper English.

Why can't the English learn to speak?
This line is repeated multiple times throughout the song and is a repeated refrain expressing Henry's frustration at the topic at hand.