I Remember
Otep Lyrics

And I remember flashes of laughter
I recall brief moments of joy and happiness

And lunatics lost in your soul
And individuals with uncontrolled and irrational behavior hidden within you

Seductive propaganda scrolling across my mind
Persuasive but misleading information being fed to me repeatedly

Like guerrilla cinema
Similar to tactics used by underground movements to spread their message

Belts and, and wooden spoons
Physical forms of punishment such as whipping and beating with wooden utensils

Flies in the afterbirth
Insects feeding on the remains of birth

Shadows across my mind
Dark clouds of negativity hindering my thoughts

Smiling but dead, smiling but dead
Appearing joyful outwardly but emotionally dead inside

Crawling on linoleum kitchens
Moving slowly and painfully on kitchen floors made of synthetic material

TV streaming death
Television transmitting depressing and violent content

And corporate consciousness into my brain
And ideas and values of the business world influencing my thoughts

Cracked porcelain sinks
Bathroom fixtures made of fragile material and broken

Covered with insects and dirty dishes
Infested with bugs and unwashed dishes

The early morning anxiety of, of grade school
Feeling uneasy in the early hours of school days

Dark stockings to hide the bruises
Wearing dark clothes to cover up physical injuries

The secret friends, festive holidays
Having friends in secrecy; cheerful celebrations

And everyone in their, in their Sunday best
Everyone wearing their best clothes on special occasions

Pretending to like each other
Feigning affection towards each other

Generations and generations
Multiple successive groups of people over the years

Of loneliness, sad mistakes
Experiencing prolonged periods of isolation and regrettable choices

Stealing away in the dead of night
Escaping unnoticed in the darkness

To escape stiff jawed henchmen
To get away from unyielding subordinates

In, in the hungry trucks of an angry slumlord
Being carried away in an angry landlord's vehicles while starving

Miles and miles away
Far away from the starting point

Patience and understanding
Tolerance and empathy towards others

Waking on the side of the road
Rousing from sleep while lying next to a street

Hissing radiator, hoses cracked like, like burned skin
Sibilant sound from heating device; pipes in disrepair resembling burned flesh

And days so hot
And extremely warm weather conditions

A nuclear holocaust would've felt like
It would have been similar to a catastrophic event like a nuclear blast

A cyclonian blizzard
A storm with snow and gales rotating in a circular motion

I remember the first time
I recollect the initial experience

I felt it alive inside me, turning
Feeling something active and in motion deep within me

But the dead weight moving
But the load being carried despite being inanimate

Within the folds of its winged embrace
Within the enveloping arms of its winged structure

Opening and sliding those black feathers
Expanding and moving the dark feathers

Inches at a time
Progressing slowly

Its beak, its, its feet
Its mouth and limbs

Pushing and pushing and, and pushing
Exerting force and momentum

And digging into the membrane
And penetrating the thin film covering it

And I remember going numb
And I remember losing all feeling in my body

And listening to it hum
And hearing it make a low buzzing sound

I'm feeling it move in its mysteries
I sense its enigmatic movements in me

Exploring me with power
Studying and monitoring me with strength

And I know I never had a chance
And I'm aware that I never had any possibility of avoiding it

There was never any escaping it
There was no avoiding it whatsoever

Amen
So be it, let it be done

Guns and God
Weapons and the divine

Guns and God
Weapons and the divine

Amen
So be it, let it be done