Otep have since released six full-length albums featuring many session musicians including Greg Wells, Joey Jordison of Slipknot, Koichi Fukuda of Static-X, Emilie Autumn, Tony Campos of Soulfly and Asesino (ex-Static-X), and Ulrich Wild. Their first three albums, Sevas Tra, House of Secrets, and The Ascension, were released on Capitol Records. However, after the label's merging with Virgin Records, Otep, along with many other bands, were released from their contracts with Capitol in 2007. Two years later, Otep signed with Victory Records and released their fourth album, Smash the Control Machine, which included a reunion with former members Mark "Moke" Bistany on drums and Rob Patterson on guitar. The album also featured Koichi Fukuda on piano and Emilie Autumn on violin.
Atavist was the first album not to feature longtime bassist Jason "eViL J" McGuire who left the band on September 30, 2010, the personnel consisted of session musicians Rani Sharone, Gil Sharone, Tony Campos, Collyn McCoy, Ulrich Wild, and Markus Estrada. On the tour supporting the album, her band consisted of support musicians courtesy of the supporting band and labelmates on the tour, Destrophy. The band is now mainly Otep Shamaya.
In 2011, Otep toured as a supporting act along with Earth Crisis for Cavalera Conspiracy. She also wrote and released a new book of poems titled "New Word Order" in December 2011.
In 2013, Otep released her sixth studio album titled Hydra on January 22 through Victory Records.
Suicide
Otep Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I spent my whole life
In love with despair
Kept my lungs full
With the breath of their
Mute atmosphere
... I became what I hate.
And thus shall I remain
To give birth to a mighty assassin
Armed with a weapon of words
To defy the lies
To never compromise
No.
Today, my name .... is pain.
[2]
I stood
Beyond the world
Whispering secret syllables
In the eyeless dark
Dancing wildly
Round and round on the rotting ground
Surrounded by the dead dusts of Hell ...
This is how I delete myself
& this is how I corrupt everyone else
Obey
Obey
Betray
Betray
You are not unique.
You do not need to think.
Take it, take it!
I will,
I will ... I will.
You succumb, so nicely.
[like an insect staring back, like a dying dove]
My love ..... [no] ..... my love.
[song]
So here we are again
The sheets are stained & bloodied
The animals scratch at my skin
Here we are again
My face is scraped & bloodied
I've nothing left to give
- I wasn't there,
- I'm not involved,
- I'm innocent,
- it's not my fault.
- I wasn't there,
- I'm not involved,
- I'm innocent,
- it's not my fault.
.. here in the suicide trees.
.. here in the suicide trees.
[[no. bloody, bloody, bloody, MURDER!]]
AMONG THE EXCREMENT OF MY SINS!!
It's not happening, it can't be happening, it's not happening.
So here we are again
In secret ceremonies
Changing shape, amen.
Here we are again
Pretending not to notice
The illness sneaking in.
- I wasn't there,
- I'm not involved,
- I'm innocent,
- it's not my fault.
- I wasn't there,
- I'm not involved,
- I'm innocent,
- it's not my fault.
.. here in the suicide trees.
.. here in the suicide trees.
Toil & labor
Hate your neighbor
Faith in favor
Obey!
Toil & labor
Hate your neighbor
Faith in favor
Obey!
OBEY.
OBEY.
HERE, I DO AS I PLEASE!
HERE IN THE SUICIDE TREES!
HERE, I DO AS I PLEASE!
HERE IN THE SUICIDE TREES!!
OBEY!!
HATE YOUR NEIGHBORS!
HATE YOUR NEIGHBORS!!
[the animals scratch at my skin]
It's not happening, it's not happening.
The lyrics of Otep's song Suicide Trees are dark and brooding and invoke a sense of despair and hopelessness. The song is primarily about the struggle with the self and the frustration of not being able to change, leading to a destructive cycle of self-sabotage. The opening lines of the song convey this overall sense of despair and defeat as the singer admits to a lifetime of being in love with despair and being surrounded by a mute atmosphere that keeps them occupied with negative emotions. The singer then goes on to admit that they have become what they hate, which is a reference to the toxic self-loathing that fuels their negative self-talk.
The second verse of the song talks about the inevitability of corrupting oneself and others with negative thoughts when one is immersed in a cycle of negative self-talk. The "Obey" and "Betray" lines in this verse are like commands to one's self and others to give up hope and surrender to the negativity that surrounds them. The singer then accepts that they are responsible for their pain and that it has become a part of their identity, leading them to resist lies and never compromise. The final lines of the song are a plea to escape the cycle of despair and hopelessness, but it ends on an uncertain note - "It's not happening, it's not happening" - suggesting that the singer is still trapped in their cycle of self-destruction.
Line by Line Meaning
I spent my whole life
In love with despair
I have experienced a lifelong attraction to misery.
Kept my lungs full
With the breath of their
Mute atmosphere
I have breathed in the apathy and indifference of those around me, allowing it to take root within me.
... I became what I hate.
As a result of my own despair and contempt for others, I have become just like the very thing that I despise.
And thus shall I remain
To give birth to a mighty assassin
Armed with a weapon of words
I will continue on this path, using my words to create a powerful force that will take down those who deserve it.
To defy the lies
To never compromise
No.
My mission is to expose the falsehoods and never give in to what is not true.
Today, my name .... is pain.
My identity is bound up in suffering.
I stood
Beyond the world
I exist beyond the usual conventions of society.
Whispering secret syllables
In the eyeless dark
In the darkness, I communicate in a way unknown to others.
Dancing wildly
Round and round on the rotting ground
Surrounded by the dead dusts of Hell ...
I am uncontrolled and uncontainable, with death all around me.
This is how I delete myself
& this is how I corrupt everyone else
This destruction is the effect of my own self-destruction as well as the harm that I inflict on others.
Obey
Obey
Betray
Betray
Others must obey me if they want my trust - if they don't, I'll betray them.
You are not unique.
You do not need to think.
Take it, take it!
You are not special - just do what I say, no questions asked.
I will,
I will ... I will.
You succumb, so nicely.
I will achieve what I want, and you will fall in line and submit to me.
[like an insect staring back, like a dying dove]
My love ..... [no] ..... my love.
I am the insect caught in my own gaze, doomed to destruction. Despite my claim to love, there is actually no love here at all.
- I wasn't there,
- I'm not involved,
- I'm innocent,
- it's not my fault.
I am unwilling to take responsibility for any wrongdoing, attempting to distance myself from blame.
.. here in the suicide trees.
.. here in the suicide trees.
I am trapped in a place of self-destruction and darkness.
[no. bloody, bloody, bloody, MURDER!]
AMONG THE EXCREMENT OF MY SINS!!
It's not happening, it can't be happening, it's not happening.
I am overwhelmed by the horror of my own sins.
So here we are again
In secret ceremonies
Changing shape, amen.
Here we find ourselves once more in a place of darkness, transforming into something new in secret.
Pretending not to notice
The illness sneaking in.
I am willfully ignoring the sickness which is slowly overtaking me.
.. here in the suicide trees.
.. here in the suicide trees.
I can't escape the cycle of destruction that I am caught up in.
Toil & labor
Hate your neighbor
Faith in favor
Obey!
I am preaching a message of hatred and subjugation, encouraging others to follow me.
OBEY.
OBEY.
The only thing that matters is obedience to me.
HERE, I DO AS I PLEASE!
HERE IN THE SUICIDE TREES!
OBEY!!
In the world of destruction, all that matters is that others do as I say.
HATE YOUR NEIGHBORS!
HATE YOUR NEIGHBORS!!
I am encouraging people to hate those around them instead of reaching out in love.
[the animals scratch at my skin]
It's not happening, it's not happening.
I try to fight against the consequences of my own actions, believing that there is no way that this can be my fate.
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: GREG WELLS, OTEP SHAMAYA
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind