Been Afraid
P.O.S. Lyrics

Million dollar baby girl in the lower middle class/
Despite her financial status, the girl has value and worth.

With a maglight right beneath her pillow/
She is prepared for any potential danger.

And though shes never been a boxer by choice/
She's never been in a physical altercation willingly.

Shes known to act oak you never catch her a willow/
She has a strong and unyielding demeanor.

Shes the calm type/ you see the small scars/
She appears composed despite the emotional and physical trauma she's experienced.

Creepin down her arms/ peeking from them long sleeves/
Her scars are visible beneath her clothing.

Right/ she keeps em weak in the knees/ but she stay out of sight/
She has a captivating presence but tries to avoid attention.

And when the school bell rings/ its goodnight/
She leaves school immediately after class ends.

Or might as well be/ he never sees her around/
She is rarely seen by others.

But he looks/ for weeks now hes been maybe tomorrow/
Someone has been looking for her for a while.

But hes shook/ he sees those bruises and he needs to please her/
The person searching for her is concerned for her well-being.

Plus he dont wanna go home either/
He may be avoiding his own problems.

Gives her a look they pass/ copies down a poem from a schoolbook/
He gives her a poem as a kind gesture.

Gives it to her after hesitation/ whoops his ass/ she took it fast/
He hesitates before giving her the poem and she accepts it quickly.

Lost like all sensation in her hands/ and braced herself gracefully/
She is overwhelmed by emotion but handles it with composure.

Sturdy where she stands/ humble mumbling/ passing the words fumbling/
She maintains her strength despite feeling nervous and unsure.

Nothing discouraging/ just nerves (just)/ drumming up the courage/
She is trying to overcome fear and anxiety.

Something bout skylines or bike rides or riverbeds/
The poem likely contains imagery of nature.

Somethin or/ something that he read/
He is unsure of the poem's exact content.

Caught her right beneath the armor/
The poem speaks to her on a personal level.

Cauterized thought of any/ blunt force trauma/
The poem has a healing effect on her.

Aint no way he could harm her/
The person who gave her the poem poses no threat to her.

When the curse/ leave a shell like a snake with fresh scales /
Trauma and abuse can leave lasting scars and emotional damage.

Some people seem to call that home/ but some souls roam/
Some people may be accustomed to negative environments while others seek a better life.

Keep riding til the cycle is broke/ we dont need to go through nothing alone/
We can overcome difficult times with the help of others.

Shes in the weather the whole storm/
She is facing adversity head-on.

Huggin on her prince his hands to skin warm/
She finds comfort in her partner's embrace.

Quick out the door no note no forlorn/
She leaves quickly without saying goodbye.

Cause all they heard was Papa dont hit me no more/
The girl has experienced domestic violence in her home.

But they couldnt seem to keep the swelling down/
The injuries caused by the abuse were severe.

How they regretting ever letting out this 3rd child born/
Her parents regret having a third child.

But things are getting better now/ cozy sweater now/
Her situation has improved and she is comfortable.

With her thumbs through the holes in her sleeves worn down/
She still has visible scars on her arms.

And boy similar/ noise minimal/
Her partner understands her pain and is quiet and supportive.

Toy criminal joys simple when someones found it in you/
The little things can bring joy when you have someone to share them with.

Somehow it boosts the individual/ that bluish hue is mutual they/
Being in love with someone makes you both stronger.

Make love gently/ so aware of each others bruises/
They are gentle and understanding of each other's pain.

And sorta scared they could lose this/
They fear losing each other.

Trust bury the blues/ somewhere it wont bear roots/
They have learned to trust each other and find ways to heal.

But is this boy where the truth is/ shes spooked see/
She is unsure if she can trust her partner completely.

Fruit never seems to fall far from the useless/ branch that its attached to/
Negative behavior is sometimes passed down from generation to generation.

And quacks say if hes beat up hes bound to smack you/
Some people believe that those who experience abuse are more likely to become abusers themselves.

Shes down to step back now/ he ever get loud/
She is cautious when her partner gets angry.

She couldnt be proud of whatever she might do/
She doesn't want to react in a negative or violent way.

This is the first time she ever felt touched/
Her partner has shown her love and affection in a way that feels genuine.

That didnt bring her to hush like something was being done to her/
His touch doesn't make her feel uncomfortable or violated.

That unscrews her/ she loosens with the booze/
Alcohol helps her relax and let go of her fears and anxieties.

Her hinge can stay bent/ addressing her dudes wounds/
She can support her partner and help him heal from his own trauma.

Regressing to bedrooms/ where fools ignored dont/
They seek refuge in the safety and privacy of their bedroom.

Hes not one of them tools that/ screws nuts and bolts/
Her partner is not superficial or shallow.

And she know that/ and she know that/
She trusts and understands her partner.

But she holds back/ and she hope that/
She still has some reservations and fears in their relationship.

He see the way she flinch/ cuz its kneejerk/ to brace for attack/
Her past trauma causes her to react defensively to sudden movements or touches.

Even if hes only rubbing her back/ I mean/
Even innocent actions can trigger her past trauma.

And even if its like the deck has been stacked/
They may face difficult challenges in their relationship.

Its not an act hes really loving her back/
Her partner's love for her is genuine and sincere.

Hold your heart up/ never raise your hand/
She encourages her partner to be kind and gentle.

He says that with her grown up voice/
Her partner understands the importance of treating her with respect.

I love you/ they say that with they lips/
Their love for each other is genuine.

When the curse/ leave a shell like a snake with fresh scales/
Trauma and abuse can leave lasting scars and emotional damage.

Some people seem to call that home/ but some souls roam/
Some people may be accustomed to negative environments while others seek a better life.

Keep riding til the cycle is broke/ we dont need to go through nothing alone/
We can overcome difficult times with the help of others.