awakening
Papermill Lyrics

New lymph reaches my heart
As I awaken from a state of numbness, a new energy begins to flow within me, giving me a sense of refreshed vitality.

as I get up from this catalepsy
Emerging from a state of paralysis or extreme sluggishness, I feel empowered to begin moving forward again.

I didn't even know why I was so sad
My sadness had become so pervasive that it had taken on a life of its own, without any clear cause or root source that I could identify.

maybe I was just in love
Perhaps my sadness was rooted in a deep longing or emotional attachment to someone or something that was beyond my conscious awareness or understanding.

With whom I don't know.
Despite this sense of emotional connection, I am still uncertain as to who or what is the source of these feelings.

With you or everyone else
I am torn between the possibility that my love is directed towards a specific individual, or whether it is something more universal that I feel for all people and life in general.

wishing to be more normal than I was
Part of my sadness may have arisen from a sense of feeling socially isolated or outside the norm, and a desire for greater acceptance and belonging.

awakening from my sad rest
The process of awakening from this state of sadness involves not just a physical movement, but a deeper reorientation of my emotional and mental faculties.

Old hopes come back in my head
As I begin to emerge from my sadness, I find that my previous aspirations and dreams, which had been obscured by my sadness, are once again accessible to me and seem more attainable.

as I step out from my bed
This new sense of hope and vitality coincides with a physical act of starting anew and undertaking new endeavors in my life.

I didn't even know I could think today
Amidst my sadness, my cognitive faculties had become dulled, and I was not even aware of my own intellectual limitations. Now, I feel a renewed sharpness of mind and focus.

I thought I was so angry and down
Previously, I had conflated my feelings of sadness with feelings of anger and resentment. Now, I can see these emotions more clearly as distinct and separate, and can begin to process them more effectively.

Because... I don't know.
Despite my newfound clarity of thought, some emotions and thoughts are still too vague and indefinite to be fully understood and articulated.

Because the sun was out
The warmth of the sun and the brightness of the day serve as a contrast to the dimness and dreariness of my previous state, and spur me onwards to embrace life more fully.

wishing the rain to bead my hair
Even as I seek the brightness and positivity of the sun, I also recognize the beauty and catharsis of rain and sorrow, and accept them as part of the full spectrum of human experience.

awakening from my sad rest
Once again, I am reminded that the process of awakening is not a one-time event, but an ongoing journey of continual self-discovery and growth.

I don't know why
Despite my newfound clarity and vitality, there is still much that is shrouded in mystery, and much that I have yet to unravel and understand about my own psyche and the world around me.

I always choose to be weak
While I have made progress in overcoming my sadness and embracing life more fully, there are still tendencies within me towards complacency, meekness, and a lack of self-assertion.

wishing to be different and unique
At the same time, I recognize my tendency to chafe against societal norms and expectations, and my desire to carve out an identity and a purpose that is truly my own.

awakening from my sad rest
Once again, I am reminded that progress is not a linear or straightforward process, but involves many setbacks, challenges, and small victories along the way.