Peeping Tom is the long awaited project from Mike Patton (Mr. Bungle, Faith… Read Full Bio ↴Peeping Tom is the long awaited project from Mike Patton (Mr. Bungle, Faith No More, Fantômas, Tomahawk, etc.) that sees him collaborating with artists such as Norah Jones, Amon Tobin, Massive Attack, and Kid Koala.

It had been five years since the fans of Mike Patton had first heard of the Peeping Tom project and the growing anticipation soon turned into skepticism, for fear the project would never see the light of day. Fans were also teased with the leaking of demos some of which were nearly identical to the finished product.

"I'd send out a track and start working on something else," said Patton, explaining the Peeping Tom delay. "You don't sit around for the mailman to come, you work on other shit. And that's what I did. It was really something I worked on over a period of several years that was in the background of my life."

Patton describes Peeping Tom as his take on pop music: "I don't listen to the radio, but if I did, this is what I'd want it to sound like. This is my version of pop music. In a way, this is an exercise for me: taking all these things I've learned over the years and putting them into a pop format. I've worked with many people who have said to me, 'oh you have a pop record in you, eventually you'll find it,' and I always laughed at them. I guess I owe them an apology."

There are at least more three bands with the name Peeping Tom:

2: Australian retro/stoner rock band
3: French trip-hop/electronic/electro-dub band
4: an English Rock Ceilidh band

2) http://peepingtomband.com/index.htm
http://www.myspace.com/savrocker

Hard drivin' groove, heavy, blues-laden riffs, epic psychedelia and quality brown tone.

Gerasimos Grammenos — Guitar, Vocals
Adam Winzer — Guitar, Vocals
Cameron Cairnes — Drums, Vocals
Josh Waddell — Bass guitar, yowells

3) Biography from http://en.elektrolink.com/artists/djs_composers/peeping_tom/ :
Step by step, the ever-changing collective Peeping Tom is building a galaxy of its own in the world of electro. A fascinating constellation revolving around the hard core of Vincent Haenni and Gabriel Scotti has recently been observed: live scores for synthesized images and real time projections, soundscapes accompanying public readings by French actor Carlo Brandt , electro-dub performances, completed by an interactive website where the visitors can try their hands at the genre. Plus, of course, a first CD (ICare/Saturn Split/db32). And now, Liquid Sand, taking the listener to the borders of elegant and sensual downbeat music, where twelve new planets are unveiled. Visiting various musical styles (jazz, ambient, dub) as well as literary genres (from the Great French poets to a 1970s cookbook for the American housewife), Peeping Tom does not just sample the finest elements thereof. Like a giant cosmic reactor would turn sand into liquid, the duo amalgamates the components to an amazing degree of perfection. Yet, the result is never sterile, each of the twelve tracks being on the contrary a rich and welcoming biosphere. They now await your visit. Gregoire Bisson Web: www.migroz.com Email : peepingtom@migroz.com

4. Peeping Tom are a Rock Ceilidh band, and the first Thursday of each month they hold a ceilidh at The Massey Ferguson Social Club. The formed in the eighties.

Between the Lines
Peeping Tom Lyrics

We have lyrics for 'Between the Lines' by these artists:

2 a.m. Orchestra If it happened it happened Cant give no energy to go…
Aire Atlantica Tripping all night in the ocean Falling in deep to devotion …
Also Eden There's a sound deep inside And it feels just like thun…
Aminé I wish you could read between the lines I hoped to…
Amtrac I said, every single lesson Is stuck on loop (Stuck on loop…
Areshi Sitting here again, not knowing where we stand Either way, s…
Atmosphere (What it tis it taint and what it taint it…
Atmosphere (Rap) (What it tis it taint,& What it taint it tis Its…
Atmosphere ft. heiruspecs & mr dibbs (What it tis it taint and what it taint it…

atmosphere ft. heiruspecs & mr.dibbs (What it tis it taint,& What it taint it tis Its…
Bajka Well we can't change the world We sure can change the…
Bajka Pluwatsch Well we can't change the world We sure can change the…
Beseech Help me to get through my mission inside Help me to…
Beyond All Recognition Everything you have to do, To make someone proud, Or things …
Bill Champlin Joseph Williams & Peter Friestedt We punsch the clock of our confusion And stab our way…
Billy and the Lost Boys It means nothing to you But it meant everything to me Why…
Bloom 06 Bloom 06 - Between The Lines All the things, all …
Blutengel What is right and what is wrong So many questions in…
Bonobo Well we can't change the world We sure can change the…
Bonobo feat. Bajka Well we can't change the world We sure can change the…
Break It's a fine line Between the shadow and the sun In the…
Built to Last I've got nothing left to say. Even though you watch…
Cairo Horizons rise and fall in change Succumbing to the thrust o…
Champlin Williams Friestedt We punsch the clock of our confusion And stab our way…
Charles Whitehead [refrain] Tell me, can you read between the lines Do you k…
Charlie Whitehead [refrain] Tell me, can you read between the lines Do you kno…
Chris Brown feat. Kevin McCall - Was it something I said Was it something I did (oh) Looking…
Christine Guldbrandsen it was a tale without a way a story only you…
Chuck Ragan I see the fire through the trees Hear the hollers through…
Damian Lynn All the things she complained about, they do not knock me…
David Wilcox Dear darling I love you always Some things never change Our…
Debbie Gibson I've been searching I've been thinking I've been searching s…
Donkey Kid It feels like a kick right in the head I′m walking,…
DTN Why do you never hit me back whenever I call You…
Dust-Theority Open your eyes See me here Conflict, confront me here and no…
Duvall The goal you sold yourself out to Is wasting you for…
East & West I never call You never write But I still hear you voice All…
Elijah N feat. Frigga I shut my eyes trying not to speak Pretend that I′m…
Erik Faber I am restless My deamons stole your pride I'm shapeless My m…
Evermore I caught a glimpse of past and future but I…
Excalion I was told to look behind the eyes But it seems…
Flamin' Groovies You′ve been down for so long Can't seem to find out…
Fractured Read between the lines, of our narrow minds. Just wait…
Francis Novotny Woman that i love I have never seen Rights from magazines Mm…
Fu Manchu Take your time - you're way too slow Push it back,…
G. Tran I see through the eyes of an old man now So…
Gwen Bunn Ooh, reading between the lines I can tell, I can tell,…
Hearts & Hand Grenades Defeated, mistreated No words for what I'm feeling Fake smil…
I the Mighty The morning attack: You pull the curtains back and light, s…
Impale I See the end of the World And look back on…
Intergalactic Lovers What to say I guess that something changed I guess when I…
J. Angel Mom tried to see the best in things She liked to…
Jacob Fowler I'm getting tired of waiting for my time to come and…
Janah Between The Lines written by : keith johnston Somewhere Are…
Janis Ian There's never much to say Between the moments of our games…
Jase Harley He dont do wat i do He dint know how to…
Jason Piquette Between the lines Welcome to confrontation You bring the br…
Jeff Lang I'd like to think you can't leave me here But every…
John Fogerty Between the lines, that's wond'rin' what to say, when you…
Just Went Black Oh could you please indulge me stop to picture me on…
Just Went Black / M.O.T.U. / Surf Nazis Must Die If it happened it happened Cant give no energy to go…
Kai Wachi & Sullivan King This is noise Yeah Go Get those middle fingers Get those mi…
Kasedy Everything around became opposed to me. Maybe something is w…
KSM Everything used to be simple with you and me A picture…
Lake Take my life and write it down Sure won't take much…
Landry Cantrell Lord, You are amazing, You died just to save me, Your love…
Leigh Nash Making love behind shades An open book but the print fades Y…
Living & Lions A broken old toy, that once could be trusted To bring…
Luca Sorrentino When the skyline breaks the dawn Are your hands left so…
LØVE LTTR "I'm not one to cause drama" Says the one with there…
M.A.N.D.Y. vs. Booka Shade What's in between the line Never gave you my mind What's in…
M.O.T If it happened it happened Cant give no energy to go…
Marcus Gad BETWEEN THE LINES Now you see the tables dem a turning…
Marit Bergman Between the lines Shades are down and lights are out Onl…
Mark St. John Outside my window as the sunlight dims An owl appears to…
Mason Jennings She got the best of me She brought me down, riding…
Matt Andersen He'll come out of nowhere And treat you to wine He'll…
Michael Gerow We were Picture perfect 'til you broke the frame Signs were …
MONKEY MAJIK And she's all I need I see her everywhere Don't mean to…
N.I.C What's in between the line Never gave you my mind What's in…
Nash Leigh Making love behind shades An open book but the print fades Y…
Old Man Canyon Light a cigarette I know it's getting late Watched you make …
Peter Bjorn and John Outside my window as the sunlight dims An owl appears to…
Polar Dust Open your eyes See me here Conflict, confront me here and no…
Presto Ballet The scribbled lines from years gone by A theme appears the…
Pretty. With you With you With you With you Lit me up from across th…
Rage Oh, I give a fuck To what you say 'bout…
Rapper Big Pooh [Intro:] Yeah Back at you (back at you) Harpoon baby(Harp…
Robyn Even reading in between the lines Every day, you hit my…
Sambassadeur Tambourines are shaking but I don't hear a sound It's my…
Sara Bareilles Time to tell me the truth To burden your mouth for…
Sarah Kelly Give me one reason to trust you Give me one reason…
Sarah Klang Between the lines Wish you could see me between the lines Hi…
shotgun six Keep it coming, don't forget Everything you tried is somethi…
Soto Jeff Scott BETWEEN THE LINES (DEL VECCHIOSOTO) PAINTED PICTURES OF YE…
Space Junk If you need me I'll be there through and through You won't…
Steve Goodman The day you're born they sign a piece of paper That…
Stone Temple Pilots Lovely disguise Read between the lines You rock the magic p…
Super No. 7 Find a place and read between the lines If to stray…
Susperia Tonight we will go another way Tomorrow there will be anoth…
T'Pau You talk of your true love to me But there's no…
Takida I woke up in the whiter past Distracting eyes All is empty,…
Tear Ducks Here it comes, that old familiar feeling Knocking at my door…
The A.M.P.C. If it happened it happened Cant give no energy to go…
The Final Clause Of Tacitus I’m taking, my time while you are waiting For me to…
The Ghost Inside But when the spotlight comes, where have the words gone? The…
The Lone Bellow They say you only make stuff when you're mad When you…
The Spectres Northern strangers Mass before us In the pasture fields Fath…
V-Male A cold wind blew over my paradise Took me a while…
Xtrunk How can I define? How can I've much time? To say all…
Yung Reece I know he never had time for ya You steady…

We have lyrics for these tracks by Peeping Tom:

05. Your Neighborhood Spaceman I'm your neighborhood spaceman. You don't know who I am, o…
08. Celebrity Death Match Peeping Tom Celebrity Death Match Lyrics Waking up without y…
Caipirinha Everyday it's a dream, it's obscene. I wish I was there. Far…
Caipirinha (feat. Bebel Gilberto) Everyday is a dream, it's obscene I wish I was there Far…
Celebrity Death Match Peeping Tom Celebrity Death Match Lyrics Waking up without y…
Celebrity Death Match (feat. Kid Koala) Waking up without you It's all in my head I roll over…
Desperate Situation Honey, your love is gone, I know your love is…
Don't Even Trip Escapin the situation, im outta the trap zone, (trap zone) t…
Five Seconds Strolling through the slaughterhouse of love Rags and ruins …
Getaway Gotta Getaway 16 Seconds to Make It Come On Mike Escaping th…
Getaway (feat. Kool Keith) Gotta get away I gotta get away... 16 seconds to make it C'm…
How U Feelin "And they drove him there Like a key to a skeptic When…
How U Feelin%3F "And they drove him there Like a key to a skeptic When…
How U Feelin? "And they drove him there Like a key to a skeptic When…
Kill the DJ Peeping Tom Kill The DJ Lyrics Your happiness is my business…
Kill the DJ (feat. Massive Attack) Your happiness is my business I practice it like a violin I…
Mojo Those haunting rhymes are keeping the time, but they'll neve…
Mojo (feat. Rahzel Those haunting rhymes are keeping the time But they'll neve…
Mojo (feat. Rahzel & Dan the Automator) (feat. Rahzel & Dan the Automator) Those haunting rhymes ar…
Mojo (feat. Rahzel and Dan The Automator) Those haunting rhymes are keeping the time But they'll never…
Mojo [Feat. Rahzel Those haunting rhymes are keeping the time, but they'll nev…
Neighborhood Spaceman I'm your neighborhood spaceman. You don't know who I am, or …
Sucker We'll fall asleep, and take a peek indoors i will take…
Sucker (feat. Norah Jones) You suck When I fall asleep you take a peek indoors I…
We're Not Alone (A lover) This feeling has a thousand limbs, all the hers…
We're Not Alone (remix) (feat. Dub Trio) (A lover) This feeling has a thousand limbs, all the hers…
Your Neighborhood Spaceman I'm your neighborhood spaceman. You don't know who I am, or …
Your Neighborhood Spaceman (feat. Jel and Odd Nosdam) I'm your neighborhood spaceman You don't know who I am or wh…

Your Neighborhood Spaceman featuring Jel and Odd Nosam I'm your neighborhood spaceman. You don't know who I am, o…

The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos

TRACKS

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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

Truque

2y↑220

I had an exemple of that when I moved to live with my girlfriend.

I'm really casual about my own nudity, I go in the kitchen with just a towel around my waist, change in the bedroom with the curtains open, etc...

Whereas she always change in the bathroom or close the curtains when she put on or off her pajamas.

I think I never felt being the subject of peeping. I'm not an usual victim, or preyed on. And she may have felt this way.

I my life I've seen naked people by mistake. Never looked at, just seen, and it was always a "oops sorry my bad" moment. And when I've been seen it was the same.

I hope a lot of men feel the same, and I find this trope very disturbing.

As far as I find women's body beautiful, consent is the sexiest of their assets.

Gaynebula

2y↑40

Back in early high school, when I still thought of myself as a man, me and my friends encouraged each other to 'rate' passersby based on an ocular undress. It started as a hetero male bonding activity, but segued into an outlet for their curiosities about my tastes once it came to light that I was also into men.

We gradually became organically less and less comfortable with it as time went on- however, at no stage that I can remember were we meaningfully discouraged. This mirrors the casual proliferation of so-called 'loli' and 'shota' imagery in schools- the notion of kids as sex objects is far easier to ingrain into still-developing kids, than adults who are very much either 'pedo' or 'non pedo,' and this is further fed by the notion of male sexuality as immovable, amoral force- it's only 'natural' to be attracted to younger, more 'objectively' attractive people. The idea that youth=beauty is rarely even meaningfully challenged, especially as it pertains to nonmen, and even more scarcely do these implications face analytical scrutiny.

The same set of systems that predated on me wanted me to become the predator in adulthood. Qanon and other conspiracy theories, in some respects, can be thought of as what happens when ordinary people try to explain the proliferation of such evil throughout our entire worlds, while being taught that implementing frameworks concerning any of the -isms makes you a woke socialist or whatever.

It's harder to perceive the seeds of evil actions inside you than anyone else, because your ingrained ape-brain survival behaviours teach you to validate every feeling, impulse and desire. Too many people would rather let violent tendencies proliferate culture, and become violent themselves, than face this discomfort, especially when they're privileged by society for doing so.

Fantastic deep dive. Ty for taking this as seriously as it deserves.

All comments from YouTube:

Coffee Addict

2y↑17.3K

As a girl who was terrified for years after she caught a 40+ year old man watching her through her window when she was 14, I'm glad you brought up the lasting psychological effect this can have on women.

punkinholler

2y↑1.3K

That absolutely sucks. I'm so sorry that happened to you and at such a young age. I had a similar experience when I was in college and it definitely changed the way I go about securing my window coverings etc. even today.

Also, I say this in case in case it brings you any vicarious enjoyment, but when I caught my peeping tom looking in my window, I ran outside and threatened to beat him with a hammer if he ever came back. He ran away and did not come back. It probably wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done but there it is.

Bettie

2y↑1.9K

Isn’t it scary that everone has a story? I used to, when I was 13, dance in my room without closing the curtains (without always wearing a top, but always a bra because it got cold). One day a friend of my dad’s came to our place to have a drink, and told me how much he liked seeing me dance… This man had been checking my window to see me every time he drove by. What the fuck. I told my father, and am very glad he straightened that guy out. They had been friends before I was born, but my dad stood up for me and ended that friendship outright. I’m so happy about that, but it doesn’t make me feel much better. I shouldn’t have to be afraid to be seen at every fucking moment, it’s exhausting.

Sandwich Delta

2y↑10.3K

It really says something about the industry that you were able to cut together well over 20 minutes of footage, without repeat, of this problematic trope.

Crow Jam

2y↑5.1K

The fact that there are so many KIDS movies that have these kinds of scenes is sickening. The normalization is built into us from such a young age.

Sfaira

2y↑11.1K

Steve Harrington calling out Jonathan, destroying the photos and the camera was the turning point that made me say 'wait I thought he's supposed to be the mean jock'. It made me love the character, especially how he develops into nicer and more respectful with every season.

Sentient Dumpster Sludge

2y↑5.9K

I caught a 40+ years old man nodding and smiling at me while I was changing in the back seat of my mom's minivan. I was literally going from karate practice to ballet practice. It still fucks me up when I think of the sinking feeling I had. I was only 8, but I knew it was messed up.

Mintz

2y↑3.4K

The "performing" section addresses something that always gets to me: that in nearly EVERY Peeping Tom scene, the woman is seductively sauntering around her apartment, performing a striptease for nobody. I want to see a scene where a guy peeps on a girl, but she's just sitting on the couch in sweats watching TV, then she catches him and presses charges and never speaks to him again.

Uilleam MacLoganach

2y↑4.4K

As a teenager, me and my group of male friends did a lot of stupid shit, we were that ridiculous group of boys who thought we were "Jackass," but we never even brought up the concept of peeping on girls... It's almost like Hollywood is trying to suggest the thought.

AlteredNova04

2y↑657

Seriously, how many men have ever actually openly and shamelessly done this in real life? Movies act like this is just a normal male activity, but I've never met a guy who bragged about or suggested doing it, and the one time I accidentally did it as a teenager I felt disgusted with myself.

Star Cherry

2y↑35

Interesting

Caleb Jensen

2y↑308

They want to show "connection" between characters, and they want to show off the women for the box office without insinuating male audiences are creeps for buying a ticket. Creepy regardless and never makes anyone with sense feel good.

1 More Replies...

AdmiralBoombox

2y↑2.4K

It's mostly telling how that peeping is almost always sexual.
Imagine a 90's teen comedy where the guy climbs into a tree with binoculars to see The Girl being beaten by her dad because he's drunk that day? OOPS, guess you weren't that interested in her actual secret life.

Joseph Fernando - Piano ♫

2y↑2K

There's a really great example of a male character respecting a woman's privacy in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, where one of the male characters tells a woman she should take a bath if she wants and that he won't look. Not only does he not spy on her, he sings so that she can feel comfortable knowing where he is at all times during the scene...

Benri

2y↑2.2K

Had two coworkers at an old job pass around a phone with nude pictures of a girl that one of the guys was sent. When I told him not to hand me the phone, his response was pretty much "your wife will never know" as if my refusal to violate another person was only because I thought I'd be "in trouble" if I did.

adoresessy101

2y↑5.7K

This is a HUGE problem in South Korea for women actually. "Molka" or hidden cameras are a huge thing in Korea that it's very paranoia inducing for women to use public facilities like bathrooms or changing rooms etc.

Zodieas

2y↑7.9K

I think the worst part about it is like, in the "Don't Peak" scenes, the man involved is usually the protagonist right? And he's a friend/acquaintance/peer of the woman. He's supposed to be the good guy, a FRIEND, and yet he still peaks. It honestly just makes me feel like, who can you trust to not peak? To not invade your privacy?

DoctorandtheDoll

2y↑16.6K

One thing that I appreciate about this channel is that it doesn't really feel the need to be funny. Don't get me wrong, I love funny video essays that can use gallows humor when covering heavy topics. But I also appreciate that Pop Culture Detective can hold your attention without jokes and just say, "This is important and we're gonna break down why." Direct and well done, as always.

Pop Culture Detective

2y↑2.1K

I appreciate that. Thanks

Clara

2y↑1.4K

"It does cause harm. It chips away to your victims until they crumble to nothing. It dehumanizes. It steals away their rights to days free from worry."
—Witch Hat Atelier.

Lizzie

2y↑5.8K

„Women‘s bodies must always be available to men, to be evaluated…“
I think what really adds insult to injury in these scenes for me is: Real women and girls, we‘re gross. We‘re just as gross as any other gender. Because we’re human. Humans are gross. We‘re not robots or dolls that always smell and look pretty. And obviously, we‘re especially gross when we‘re feeling comfortable alone in our homes, for once not being watched.
But in these scenes, the women are always moving and undressing in the most sensual and pretty way possible, when they‘re supposed to be at their ‚most private‘.
Stuff like this can really mess with your head. Like we’re not even allowed to be ‚not pretty‘ when we‘re alone. I feel ashamed of myself sometimes for simply being comfortable at home and not pretty and prepared for any potential or imaginary onlooker. The thought of being watched at my most private seriously makes me feel more ashamed of myself than creeped out or enraged by the person looking.

Jaida Blizard

2y↑3.2K

The term "teen sex comedy" explains a lot about our culture

kuromi

2y↑172

Dana the Late-Blooming Fruit Loop

2y↑2.1K

15:29 "...she left herself unguarded a few times..."
It's messed up that women even have to put up a guard.
It's like the woman's body is seen as a castle to be sieged, seized, and raided.

Kallebassificatie

2y↑3.8K

I also think it's interesting how you never see someone actually getting dressed like you do in everyday life. Usually the dressing up/down scenes are performed like a sort of strip tease.

Sushi Roll

2y↑5K

Even as a guy who's usually not the subject of them, these kinds of scenes have always made me incredibly uncomfortable. The idea of me looking out of my bedroom window or shower door and seeing someone just...staring at me is one of my greatest fears.

I honestly think one of the most damning pieces of evidence against this trope is that, with literally just a music change, a lot of the scenes wouldn't seem out of place in a horror movie.

Mikaël Ste-Marie

2y↑415

You are actually very right. This kind of weird espacially with media aim at more younger viewer.

It's really important for everyone to learn consent.

marafortune

2y↑299

I remember being told by a neighbour (when I was at the beginning of elementare school, Germany) that I should remember to always remember to close my certain because otherwise they ans others would be able to look into my room when I got changed. Of course, I guess it is great in retrospect that they told me this at such a young age, but I remember feeling quite terrified ans shocked at the thought alone that somebody might do such a thing and might have already done it. But yeah, that was naive elementary school me.

This is just an example of how still very present grooming is...

SimSim

2y↑61

I can second that. At my room in my parents house it is posible to look into our neighbours house and vice versa and the curtain on that window is always closed exept when l open the window once in a while

sourgreendolly

2y↑213

@C DeVine It’s so traumatizing. I still avoid my neighbors after seeing one looking at me while I was changing 11 years ago. Dude had the nerve to smile and wave at me when I saw him. Now I rarely have my curtains open at all.

5 More Replies...

tristonanan

2y↑964

As a teenager I was worried about being undressed in my own room without the blinds tightly drawn or my back turned from the window for fear of someone nextdoor looking in because of scenes like this. Now I'm a 20-something who is often read as a woman living in an apartment and while I have no one directly across the street from me and I know it's hard for someone to look into my window, I still worry about "putting on a show." Hanging around in one's underwear is just a casual thing when male characters do it, but it's an intentionally sexual act when female characters do it. That sticks with you.

Sootielove

2y↑893

There's definitely a reason you get horror films/psychological thrillers made out of the female POV of these scenes

🎀 Rini Diamandis ;; portals 🎀

2y↑1.3K

As a teen girl who has experienced this TWICE w the camera from two different boys who were supposed to be friends i couldnt help but cry about this video bcos its SOOOOOOO violating

Cranberry the Cat

1y↑246

Megamind actually parodied this when Titan/Hal said he had his eye on a special girl; Megamind and the audience initially assumes he means this metaphorically, but then the shot zooms into the female lead's living room where she's working, and we realize he spying on her. It's framed as gross, villainous thing to do, which I haven't seen in any other superhero media.

Uni corn

2y↑3K

Even in girl‘s locker rooms we look away when someone else undresses/turns around to undress. The lesbians don’t look either so what businesses do men think they have to be sexual predators?

bluekittyyoyo

2y↑5.1K

The interesting thing about the role reversal of the peeping tom is that whenever the girl does it, it IS portrayed as violating and uncomfortable for the guy. Like that scene with Moaning Myrtle and Harry, we the audience aren't being directed to leer at Harry, we're expected to understand how uncomfortable he feels about it.

Jaojao

2y↑274

In Dreamwork's Eldorado film there is a moment with "reverse peeping" where it is portrayed as funny, though in that case most of the scene before it was rather flirty

Susaga

2y↑1.4K

I think, with Moaning Myrtle, we're only supposed to feel uncomfortable because Myrtle isn't conventionally attractive and is known for her whining. There are plenty of "girl peeps on guy" scenes where it's "fine" because they're both attractive.

Kitty V

2y↑605

It’s also used to show a woman is otherwise unwell, where women who use the “telescope towards the neighbors” often are dangerous or unhinged.

cravenlunatic

2y↑557

i think part of why we're supposed to feel uncomfortable with that scene is because moaning myrtle isn't conventionally attractive. more leeway is given for hot women.

Justin Cain

2y↑244

Thats true, but i also feel like if Myrtle were conventionally attractive, it wouldn't be framed that way.

3 More Replies...

Panoptical Dreams

2y↑648

A former girlfriend once found a man looking at her through her open bathroom window and she was incredibly traumatized. Ever since then, I get very uncomfortable and tense when "peeping tom" scenes come up in movies and TV shows, despite what the creators of those works want me to feel.

Someone

2y↑243

I hated how Jonathan's photos of Nancy was just looked over in stranger things and Steve was painted as the bad guy for calling him out. Like Jonathan is a creep and Nancy should never have given him a chance romantically

Kitty

2y↑10.8K

As a woman in her mid-20s, I'm still shaking the feeling of putting on a "hot girl performance," even alone. I've realized I've got an audience of men in my mind that I'm always subconsciously trying to please. Sickening! Thank you for your beautiful videos!

kuromi

2y↑581

SAME

kuromi

2y↑1.2K

It's so insane. I'm not even attracted to men, but it's infected my entire being as a woman.

The M.A.

2y↑801

The fact that you featured so many examples of the "Harmless" Peeping Tom just goes to show how normalized it is! 👀

Dachusblot

2y↑878

This is a minor point, but it always struck me as ridiculous how the women being peeped on in these scenes are always wearing sexy underwear. In reality you're lucky if my bra matches my panties. Women aren't all Victoria's Secret models all the time.

Banana Bread

2y↑27.2K

In Stranger Things Steve Harrington did nothing wrong when he broke Jonathan's camera. It was a perfectly reasonable response to break the tool he used to take pictures of someone undressing without their consent.The fact that the show frames him as a douche for doing it, yet excuses Jonathan's actions with some BS about how he 'sensed her loneliness' has unsettling implications.

Alex

2y↑294

I always close my laptop, flip my phone over, and tightly shut the curtains whenever I'm changing out of a sincere fear that someone might be watching - certainly not for any vain issues nor the belief anyone would "want" to see me, but from how much media has perpetuated the idea of people spying. In the same way, I always check around a hotel room for hidden cameras. I don't want to call it paranoia since it doesn't rule my life in the same way, but there's always that small seed of doubt that someone might see something.

Frisk og solgul

2y↑820

I was once standing at the window in underwear kissing with my boyfriend and we looked out the window to see five (5!!!) people in the same apartment across the street staring at us! We hurried to roll down the curtain, and my bf still have some paranoia about going near the window with little clothes on.
It was fucking creepy, and I felt this was also an instance of the "omg gay guys are so cute!!"-objectification that I've tried before, where some people basically get heart eyes if they see my me and my bf standing together. It's weird and uncomfortable.

Ayumi Honda

2y↑1K

Wow, as a female watcher these scenes made me so uncomfortable. The thing is, a lot of these movies you mentioned came out when I was a child and a teen so sitting in a full cinema or with Male people at someone's house, you feel kind of helpless. Because "it's a compliment" when a man peeps, and "women like to be stared at". As you said, it gives off a false image of entitlement to a woman's body and I think it might be the cause why catcalling on the street is occuring so often without any great consequences. It's so refreshing to see that it's starting to change and that voyeurism is being pointed out as something negative. Thanks for your research and time!

WigginLikeEnder

2y↑279

These kinds of scenes always made me feel so angry, disgusted and violated from the time I was a child. The sheer number of examples that he was able to show in this video just speaks volumes about how this has yet to really be seen as a problem. Thank you for calling out the bullshit and showing me that I'm not "over-reacting."

Sydney Brun-Ozuna

2y↑876

I was spied on as a kid by and older boy across the street. The guy’s dad found out and went to tell my dad about it, told him he caught his kid looking at me and I need to close my blinds, change with the light off, stand away from the windows so his son wouldn’t be able to look anymore, etc. My dad told the guy to fuck off and that his son was the problem and not me, so I didn’t need to change anything about my behavior. He didn’t tell me till about ten years later.

When I tell people this story, a lot of times people question my dad’s decision — Why didn’t he tell you so you could change in a way that was private? the guy across the street could have been - and probably was - still watching, so in many people’s eyes, my dad didn’t “protect me.”

I’m so glad that my dad made the choice he did. If he had told me, and told me to change my actions, yes, maybe my body wouldn’t have been looked at anymore, but the implications that my body is up for grabs and free to be seen unless I take precautions to protect it at EIGHT YEARS OLD would have fucked me up for a long time. The knowledge that someone was watching me like that as a child is still troubling, but at least I was never told I needed to change anything about my behavior to keep men from taking advantage of me. It’s never the victim’s responsibility.

Audrey Muzingo

2y↑3.8K

Just imagine how hard it would be to keep hetero male audience members sympathetic with a gay male protagonist, if he started spying on the boy next door.

Laune Bär

2y↑546

That's what I was thinking!

Penelope Claire

2y↑300

The vast majority of the work on this channel should really be included in sex ed curriculum. It's just so well done and if I ever have kids, I'm going to be so relieved to have such an effective tool to give them when they reach the age where questions of sex and consent start crossing their minds.

psychack-ING

2y↑307

I felt disgusted and disturbed watching all these clips. "To perform sexy when there is a chance that male is looking" is kinda have been engrained in my brain until I watched video on similar topic and started to realise that I subconsciously do that sometimes. It's an important issue to talk about, so thank you for bringing this up.

jiji

2y↑747

I was only around 6 or 7 years old when I first learned of peeping, because my male friends spied on me changing at a pool party. I was mortified and they begged me not to tell anyone so I didn't. Bringing it up a few years later when we were teenagers those same boys denied ever doing it despite how clearly it had stuck with and affected me. I have no idea why 7yo boys already had the idea to do that.

Cassandra Sheek

2y↑721

You brought up the paintings in passing, but that's where the male gaze was born. Women have always - always - been depicted by the gaze of men since the beginning of artwork that they're featured in. It's no question that a sexualized perception of women found it's way into modern media, since art has long shown women in compromising, nude, or outright sexual situations. Look at Venus and Adonis, Cupid and Psyche, etc etc - most paintings of them showcase the women naked and the man clothed. It's not until the reality of the male gaze is brought up so starkly that you notice it.

It's why I love your channel so much - you work hard to make videos that starkly bring up these issues and shine a light on them. Huge respect for using your platform to dismantle and discuss these tropes, themes, and tactics. Another great video!!

Cassandra Sheek

2y↑70

Okay so Ways of Seeing by John Berger was actually adapted into a book from the television series and I loved loved LOVED reading it in college. I was in the middle of typing this out while watching the video when I realized ITS THE SAME AUTHOR lol. He says in chapter three, page 46:

"To be born a woman has been to be born, within an allotted and confined space, into the keeping of men... But this has been at the cost of a woman's self being split in two. A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself... And so she comes to consider the surveyor and the surveyed within her as the two constituent yet always distinct elements of her identity as a woman."

This is due to the male gaze's constant and historical presence in our lives. This obviously includes more than just women as depicted in the video and how real life just is, but it's speaking to the truth of the matter: men is the primary lens in which we (all of us) are viewed. Therefore, a patriarchal view is dominant and typical. If tropes like the "harmless peeping Tom" is what is ingrained in society and accepted, it's no wonder it's then adapted into media we consume (thus further pushing normalcy).

This book changed so much of my perception on media and art. I highly recommend reading it (or watching the series) especially if you're interested more on this topic.

Sophie Cook

2y↑614

funny how you mention it being an 'assumed part of a young man's sexual awakening', because it made me realise that I'd seen this trope so many times growing up as a girl, from a young age, that it was completely ingrained in me. I assumed that was just.. true. I assumed I'd be spied on, watched, and that every man/boy did it, and enjoys it.

Ariel Couch

2y↑5.8K

It’s astounding how Fez in the closet is represented as just silly when in reality someone hiding in my closet/home and spying on me is an actual nightmare.

Ariel Couch

2y↑554

Not to mention, it’s increasingly taboo to depict consensual sex scenes but this remains very common! How odd.

Penelope Claire

2y↑309

In high school a guy friend told me in passing about a group chat he was in where all the boys in class would share nsfw photos of their (UNDERAGE!) female classmates and he literally didn't see the problem with it until I grilled him for more information and questioned the whole situation. He even casually showed me some of the pictures to prove that they weren't THAT racey even though they were clearly still mostly topless photos. Luckily he agreed with me that it was fucked up and left them a message about how fucked up it was before leaving the group chat, but I still look back at that moment and curse myself because I should've done more. The laws in my state are frequently abused and I didn't want the girls to get in trouble for producing child porn when they were victims in the situation, so that's why I didn't report it to the police. But looking back, I should have.

This was in like 2017ish and the group chat was made up of several hundred boys in the class. It wasn't even the only one that my friend decided to leave. I was so horrified at how normal he made it seem before I convinced him. Later the next year or so, I heard a rumor that an ex boyfriend of mine sent a video of a girl going down on him to a similar group chat and got in trouble for it because she was still a minor and he wasn't. When he was dating me, I found out later that he was saying all sorts of stuff about our sexual encounters. I was really depressed and not really interested in him but I was desperate to be able to say I had a boyfriend and I thought I'd be safe because I was so into feminism and sexual liberation. But it didn't protect me. He had violated my wishes several times and pressured me into a bunch of stuff I didn't want to do, so I got a panic attack when I heard of this because I wondered if he had ever secretly filmed and shared any of those things without my permission. I think I'm probably safe because it was usually in low lighting, but still, it's fucked up and it shouldn't happen to anybody. I never heard any updates about him being held accountable. I hope the girl in the video turned out okay but I mean I'm not and I only dated him for a month like 5 years ago so I don't know.

Sorry for the trauma dump. I have a whole well of trauma that can explain my issues now, but there are still some pretty direct scars from this stuff that can last well into adulthood. I have a great boyfriend now who's actually respectful of my boundaries but my issues still lead to problems sometimes during sex because I'm afraid of hearing myself say no. The thought of not knowing what I want and wanting to say no but having trouble getting the word out because I don't want to ruin the moment has made me burst into sudden tears multiple times in the past. I still haven't been able to work it through just yet, but I'm lucky to be with someone who actually wants me to say it if it's on my mind. Everyone deserves that in a partner, but not everyone gets that.

Ramona De Clou

2y↑171

My brother once caught a peeping Tom when he was in his late twenties,he was absolutely mortified.He moved to another apartment that same week.

Girl in the Striped Sweater 🏳️‍🌈

2y↑654

I always felt like the peeping Tom trope was just a way to validate men's fantasy that women WANT to be looked at. But it's even more disturbing when it's broken down further 😬

Two Birds

1y↑58

16:15 “Now don’t get me wrong, sexual curiosity is completely normal. However, nonconsensual behavior should never be confused with healthy sexual exploration. The default should always be an expectation of privacy.”

dcprime

2y↑339

I had a friend (now acquaintance) once show me a nude photo of his wife on his phone and I was horrified. He even asked if I had pictures of my wife to show him. I made it clear that this was not going to happen, and that I was uncomfortable with the suggestion. I have no doubt he's shown those pics to other people and that his wife does not know.

Elanor Gamdschie

2y↑2.4K

16:47 "Men dream of women. Women dream of being dreamt of" is so telling about how society views women's sexuality. Instead of being equal in this situation ("women dream of men"), women's desire is passiv and completely dependent on men's actions. I'm not saying, that women never want men to dream of them, but the complete exclusion of an active sexuality just grinds my gears.
Also: not mentioning that this of course excludes any sexuality that is not straight.

Катя Мазурчак

2y↑300

that's how we get men who give us "advice" on what makeup we do. Like honey, that's not for you, your opinion doesn't matter.

Oskar Kuelz

2y↑221

May I add that I'm certain many straight men also would love being dreamt of? Why are people trying so hard to divide into two genders if we are all people with more or less the same wishes and needs...

evrenandtheivy

2y↑173

And that men have no interest in women being active participants or attracted to them!

CarolAnn Hook

2y↑4

@Elanor Gamdschie Yep...made me think of this scene from The Fall (with Gillian Anderson) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRiG39VMG3E (warning: strong language)

Tanja Milenkovic

2y↑183

It's an excellent video! But you could mention greek mythology the myth of Acteon and Artemida.The hero and hunter, Acteon, watched the goddess Artemida bathing with her nimpfs. When she cought him watching, she turned him into a stag and incited his haunds to tear him apart. He was never peeping goddesses again.

howlt005

2y↑117

Wow I really didn't expect this video to make me as uncomfortable as it did, I had to pause multiple times to get through it. I've noticed the peeping tom trope before, but I hadn't realised how prevalent it is in popular media. This was a great analysis, really made me think about how so much of what's shown on film and TV is completely romanticised.

Matt Shubert

2y↑149

For me, this has always been such a bizarre trend in film and TV. Particularly the idea of the guy sharing nude photos of a partner with his friends and it being some weird "bonding" experience. Outside of consensual situations (which I fully acknowledge do exist), I simply cannot fathom one of my friends sharing, or even describing, their partner's nude body (or really just their body in general) with me...if that ever happened, I would be seriously put off. Even when I was still in high school (Early 2000's), this wasn't a thing in any circle I hung out with. At most someone I know may just mention that they hooked up or got to whatever base with a girl, but there was never explicit details shared and definitely not pics/video.

On another note, it was interesting that the one Seinfeld clip you included here was the one from The Contest where they saw a naked woman across the street. As bad as that is, there's another moment - that nearly makes me want to forget the whole show - where Jerry and George are meeting with the NBC executive for their pilot, and his 15-year old daughter (which they specifically call out as that being her age) comes in wearing a low-cut top while the exec is in another room. She leans over for like 30 seconds for no reason and is clearly showing a ton of cleavage, Jerry catches a glimpse and nudges George who literally just gawks at her until being caught by the exec. The cherry on top is that it nearly costs them their whole deal, but they hatch a scheme to have Elaine (an ADULT WOMAN) wear a top with a lot of cleavage and get the exec to leer at her later, which I guess makes him forgive these two ADULT MEN for staring at his TEENAGE DAUGHTER.

A lot of the show has nonsensical and dicey plotlines but this one moment is just so weird and offputting... and overall it's one of my favorite TV shows of all time, so it's a shame that it decided to use something like this as a plot device.

Matt Eldritch

2y↑28

Remember when Jerry Seinfeld dated an actual teenager? I wonder if that scene was related to this fetish of Jerry's or not.

anne

2y↑208

I really want you to make vids about the way women who are upset, angry or crying are held against their will by men. As an autistic woman that always upset me deeply. It's assault.

Aiden Rose

2y↑100

Good god, this trope is so fucking disgusting.... I was raised in a house where my mum was constantly paranoid about people being able to see inside, so we almost always had the curtains closed. I understand what her sentiment was.
When my friends ask me again, why I constalty keep my curtains closed, I'll send them this video.

Rachel

2y↑2.5K

Want an example of the harm this trope has? I and many women I know feel the fear of being spied on all the time. We check unfamiliar bathrooms, hotels, or B&Bs for cameras. We don't sleep in a room on the ground floor, and keep our bedroom windows covered almost all the time. I even hesitated to have plants in my bedroom, because that would necessitate keeping a window partially uncovered a lot of the time.

It's so far from "harmless."

Kat Weltha

2y↑506

So much this! Every time I'm in an unfamiliar bathroom, I worry that any weird round shiny spot I see is a camera. And then I'm like, "oh shit, I looked right at it-- what if this has to go to court and he says 'she's lying, she knew it was there-- she looked right into the lens, see?'" Not only am I paranoid about being watched, I'm also paranoid that I'm not performing society's expectation of victimhood well enough to prove that I didn't want to be watched!

Juli

2y↑230

Another real life consequence is people feeling entited to look inside other people's houses in general. Even though I haven't (hopefully) been spied on while changing, some people, many times men, look through the windows of my house and keep doing so even if I'm right there expressing discomfort so they'll to look away. It's wild the number of people that can look you in the eye and still not get (or ignore) that you're angry/uncomfortable being watched by them without consent,

BambiLena666

2y↑220

I dont think I fully realized how messed up this had me, living without sunlight most of the time, until I moved to my current apartment. I kept pulling the curtains and blinds and feeling uneasy about being in the living room after dark (cause it doesnt have curtains or blinds), kept putting concerned looks at the windows. The reality is Im now living on the top floor and the windows, well unless theres a dude with a telescope on the other side of the city across the park, heating plant, river, river parks on both sides (aka miles away), no one is looking into the windows. It took me about 6 months to a year to stop automatically going into panic mode at the sight of an uncovered window.

Truque

2y↑220

keyofdawson

2y↑144

Things you don't think of being a man. It never occurred to me before how scary it can be to see these things being normalized. Yeah this behavior needs to die and the ethics of it must be taught seriously.

5 More Replies...

birddeh

2y↑97

You made a great point about nude photos in media. It is so uncomfortable when you watch a show and a character's nude photos are leaked and they show the explicit graphic image. It's so unnecessary and makes you the viewer complicit in the Peeping Tom act.

Something weird about this trope too is that most of the time the image shared is of a "teen" character

Vitya

2y↑157

It's such a shame that they had to put those scenes in Star Trek since I really like those movies.
It's really sickening when you realize that they basically don't serve any purpose other than just an excuse to show off women undressing.
Especially the one in the second movie is so out of nowhere that it felt like a slap to the face. It guinely took me out of the experience and really angered me even more later on when those two characters stopped interacting almost whatsoever just proving my point about the true reason behind this scene.

CP M

2y↑128

A female friend shared this video with me, and I want to say, I found your analysis refreshingly honest, affirmative, and yet without the hostility I have come so often to expect from any piece which condemns an undesireable pattern of behavior in society.

Random Artist

2y↑365

After living in Iceland for a while I completely had forgotten how avaliable and sexualized other societies want women at all times to be. It is a country where at pools you undress completely to wash (the two common genders are separated), so you always see people with similar bodies around and you realize how fake most media bodies are. Moreover, boys up to the age of 6 or smt, go with their mothers to change so they get used to nudity of all ages and I think it helps A LOT, because the female body is normalised.

Moreover, their dating process is through night stands where they expect the woman to go and ask of them to have intercourse if she wishes to. Because it is thought as normal for women to want as much sex as men and their behavior is expected to be similar, they just respect women's privacy and they know that at some point if she wants she is going to come on them.

Don't get me wrong, assholes still exists and those problems like sharing private material may still happen. But every woman from a traditional country etc. that I've met feels way more comfortable and way more respected.

Ps. Trans and non binary bodies are also respected and often normalised (still needs work but it's better than many other countries).

Smithereens

2y↑240

"Women dream of themselves being dreamt of", I guess I can only speak for myself as a straight cis-woman who has voyeuristic fantasies about men (yes there's consent), but I don't understand how people still define female sexuality this way. I don't talk with other women about their fantasies, sure, but I find it hard to believe that most of us mainly think about ourselves being thought about... I would love for there to be more media with consensual voyeurism where women watch men, it would normalize that female sexuality isn't all about being looked at and that we look at men too.

Jules K

2y↑8.7K

i REALLY appreciate that you directly said that the fault isn't on women who're spied on (or whose intimate photos are shared), but the people who spy/share the photos. i was recently telling someone about an incident where a woman's long-time husband posted intimate photos of her online. it RUINED her career, even made it into news articles. my discussion partner replied, "well she shouldn't have taken those photos, that speaks to her character." please to the younger generations, help this mindset die and remain buried.

tuczyn

2y↑1.4K

Omg it "speaks to HER character"?? Her husband betrayed her trust, but it "speaks to HER character"? Some people are just awful.

sourgreendolly

2y↑763

@tuczyn far too many people honestly.
I see it from women a lot too. I think they convince themselves that if they just don’t do certain things, they’ll be safe from the violation of privacy so anyone that does those things “deserves” it. It’s basically a self soothing reaction, and it doesn’t even protect them because things like up skirt photos and peepers can happen regardless.

Oskar Kuelz

2y↑386

I often wonder what kind of bosses fire someone because of that. They could so easily be hacked as well. Or be betrayed.

DimaRakesah

2y↑616

Since when does sharing intimate photos with YOUR HUSBAND say something negative about a woman's character!??

RedGambitt_

2y↑165

Something similar happened in the first season of Overwatch League (OWL for short). The TL;DR version of the story is that one of the players for one of the teams, DreamKazper, got into an online conversation with one of his female fans (who was under 18 at the time, I think) and he coerced her to send pics of herself. One thing led to another, and let’s just say he was willing to buy her tickets on a plane so they could meet in person. What’s just as pathetic is he apparently did all this while having a girlfriend. 😖

Then she blew the whistle on his creepiness and the team axed him from the roster a week or so later. IIRC, most fans supported the decision, but there were a few odd ones who did the victim blaming over the pics and not over him leveraging his status and her enthusiasm for him to his benefit.

Even to this day, quite a few in the community don’t really wanna bring him up, and some people just call him “TeenGrazper” because of this incident.

And that was in season 1. About a year or two ago, news broke over something arguably even more perverse. I’m talking about actual rape and zealous overprotectiveness. I’d share that one, but it’s honestly so shitty I already feel dirty thinking about it (I used to be a fan of him, but not anymore). In fact, it’s so bad people liken him to Voldemort and say he’s “he who shall not be named”. 😕

8 More Replies...

gary weaver

2y↑41

I had a super similar expirence which really shows how this affects everyone who watches these scenes. I went to a park with a friend of mine and her friend (both women), the friend had a crush on me, and they needed to change to play soccer as they were wearing fancy clothes. So they went behind some bushes to change, and told me to not look (obviously) so i took walk around the area, avoiding where they were but making sure no one would see them, not looking at them. Then my friend told me the girl who had a crush on me was very disappointed i did not try to see them change...which really confused me..cause like..why would i do that?? I was 16 and also had a crush on her but like... thats no excuse to be a pervert???? Anyway end of story, i fumbled the bag, despite us being very similar and compatible, because i refused to accept someone could have a crush on me...

V Brown

2y↑31

This discussion just jogged a memory for me. When on a camping (in cabins) trip in high school, a friend and I were late getting to the main lodge for a meeting of the whole camp. While rushing to get there fast, we cut past the male teacher cabin and accidentally came across one of the teachers coming out of the bathroom stark naked, passing in front of the open window. Since it was pitch dark outside, he couldn't see us. We both immediately shut our eyes and fumbled to get the hell out of there as fast as possible, and made an agreement to never, ever mention it to each other or anyone else. We were both female teens. The teacher was a fit, attractive man in his 20s, but not for one moment were we tempted to peep. However, had the genders been reversed, society would have expected, and even encouraged, us to continue peeping and to share the story with others.

Maria Elena

2y↑163

Man thank you so much. I thought society was getting over this shit and then right in the theater this year 2022 I see fucking Batman peeping at Catwoman as she changed. Which it's the way he knows she is Catwoman, which could have been done literally a million ways other than seeing her stripping in her bedroom and changing into Catwoman's suit.
It made me so mad I almost left the theater, and also made me really disappointed in the writers and producers and everyone.

WarmMilk

2y↑47

I'm still here trying to not let someone's pervy gaze feel flattering (along side being creeped out of course). I feel so brainwashed.

Maggie Oxman

2y↑19

Same it takes years of unlearning to undo the damage but you're doing the work and you should be proud of that!!

Olivia Burgin

2y↑161

There is a man in my head that watches me all the time. I wish I grew up in a society where he was never put there

Shahrzad Stories

2y↑5.7K

"Because men's sexual attention is always supposed to be flattering. Regardless whether or not those feelings are reciprocated."
Thank you for making this video. I learnt stuff the hard way but my younger self would have really needed to hear these critics.

Rhiannon Green

2y↑285

This is so engrained into women still, I remember I was once flirted with (given the circumstances I would now say harrassed) by an airport security guy and it made me incredibly uncomfortable. My female friend I was travelling with expressed confusion over his actions, at first I thought she was upset for me, but then I realised she was upset he hadn't acted the same way to her! As if his lack of unwanted attention was an insult to her. So weird.

afreaknamedallie

2y↑59

This was a somewhat uncomfortable video to watch only because my life fell apart because my now BIL filmed me in the shower when he and my sister had to move in with me following a natural disaster. There were several incidents of filming and peeping, and he was able to take control of the narrative of events so much that he managed to exile me from my own family-including my sister-and convince them all I had made everything up due to PTSD from the disaster.

I think the hardest part is the sanctimonious attitude he and my sister have adopted in the years since regarding things like consent and general traditional 'sjw' type issues while no corrective actions to the situation he put me in and the trauma he dumped on me have been made. I'm expected to move on and pretend that nothing ever was the matter, all while knowing that no one in my family would expect me to pretend it wasn't a problem if the peeping perpetrator had been a stranger.

Annoyingly, peeping of various forms has been a constant issue in my life, from neighbors, friends, strangers, etc, and usually it's seen by friends and family closer to me as some sort of requisite cross to bear for being conventionally attractive. Honestly one of the most freeing parts of gaining enough weight to stop being perceived as conventionally attractive was the drastic reduction in peeping issues. Living in a body that is perceived as attractive means you have little to no autonomy or right to privacy, at least in terms of how the public interacts with you. You are public property and expected to enjoy it or at the very least not challenge people's perceived rights to voyeur at will.

L i s s e t t e

2y↑54

that entitlement to women’s bodies is why I’m so careful as to who I let around me. I’ve trusted men and women, who I thought were friends, and they have left me feeling like I escaped in the nick of time from being assaulted. people who went years without sketchy or overt behavior turning into predators. my trust is shot, but at least I’m safe tbh.

the objectification of women/girls, after so many years, honestly makes me feel enraged and violently aggressive. My mom taught me young to look out for this disgusting trend, and I’m grateful she did. Excellent video.

radiotriphammer

2y↑83

As a (male) child of the 80's, can I just say that your analysis of these topics is just a revelation. Thank you.

ashpotatoes94

2y↑70

15:05 "and it's through their peeping that they're able to gain self confidence"

Because if a women has placed herself in an opportunity to be peeped on (her own bedroom, behind a door, sitting in a chair), it means she has wanted it all along. She should know better so if it happens it's because it was purposeful that she wanted someone to look, which gives the peeper the confidence to act on his creepy behavior. This, combined with writers who make these victims excuse the peeping as 'goofy dude antics' contribute to rape culture and it's normalization in real life relations.

Lila Duga Arts

2y↑77

If anyone is interested in more on this topic and others like it I'd recommend feminism and film by E. Ann Kaplan. It's a collection of essays by various women. The big one on this topic is visual pleasure and narrative cinema by Laura Mulvey. We read a bunch of these essays in a feminism in film class I took and there's some really interesting stuff in there.

One of the ideas I find most interesting is the whole, men watch women while women watch men watching women. It puts women into the role of performer and I think it has even more relevance in the age of Instagram and women always having to look picture perfect. There's this expectation to always be on display, every moment of every day is a performance and you are expected to look the part. To the point that not wearing makeup is transgressive even though the normal baseline should be makeupless.
Whoops didn't mean to write a whole essay in the comments I just really enjoy this kind of film critique :D

T Moraga

2y↑3K

It's really sad that women are groomed to expect this kind of stuff. I've known a lot of young women that live in constant anxiety because of the thought of not looking good publicly (Normal stuff when it's the only thing you're rewarded for). Imagine having those reparations even in the privacy of your home. I remember Jane Birkin saying she slept with an eye pencil under her pillow so she could apply it before her husband woke up. Truly horrible.

Nicka Lah

2y↑271

Maybe groomed to look good at all times, but despite all the examples given of how peeping toms are treated in entertainment... the real thing is nothing but terrifying. I caught not one, but three different guys peeping into my house one summer. I thought I was relatively safe because I lived with all guys, but it didn't matter... I couldn't sleep in my own bedroom after the first guy, particularly because he didn't know I was in my friend's car and he was looking right in my bedroom. Our reaction was pretty weird, too... you think you know how you'll react, but both of us froze while she made sure the door was locked. He walked away while we were petrified and couldn't move. I didn't even call the police until the next day. While sleeping on the couch the rest of that summer until the lease was up, two other guys were caught trying to peep in.... it's incredibly scary, because you have no idea what their intentions are, and if any of them were making plans to do worse.

Ginny D

2y↑199

Many women in the 40’s, 50’s, or 60’s would sleep with makeup. Dolly Parton has also said she does that in case she needs to wake up in the middle of the night and needs to look presentable. She’s also said that she dresses like she’ll be seen at all times so that nobody has a reason to say she doesn’t look great at all times. Love her and all her philanthropy but just wanted to mention that

Jonathan Lundkvist

2y↑65

You know, I did not really want to be angry today so I am just going to settle for disappointed. Disappointed in a society that still to this day teaches the young students at my school that some behavior is just okey when its truly not and when you call them out on it, they do not understand why. So thank you for the reminder. You do good work.

Phil Cochetti

2y↑70

I would have loved to see a treatment of the expectation that it is normal for all men to peep and objectify those they are attracted to AND how that impacts gay men when in private man-only spaces such as locker rooms. The expectation and normalization of men's supposed inability to control their peeping justifies abuse and preemptive violence against gay men to protect themselves from peeping that media portrays as normal and expected for straight men.

Even when a gay man keeps his eyes to the ground or say fails to sign up for gym classes for years, the setting of the locker room is perpetually an unsafe space and has for generations been a place of homophobic and transphobic violence.

CamoCat

2y↑49

Once I was hanging out with a guy (friend, but he admitted feelings for me), and I caught him trying to peep at my underwear from underneath my dress. I got SO MAD.... and my response to that anger was literally to try to gain back control in any way. So I said "If you wanna see, you should ask, asshole" and he joked like "oh so if i asked you to undress right now, would you?" and in response I just aggressively stripped, slapped my butt, saw him gawk at me, got dressed and left his apartment... To this day I try to comprehend my own behaviour :/

billybob bro

2y↑23

I was wondering if I was the only male who found this trope kinda repulsive.. I'll never be endeared to an invasive action like that no matter how harmless the perpetrator is. It's nasty and totally inconsiderate at best. I hate that it's so common too. Yes I know it's fiction, but I still feel uncomfortable as a movie shows someone being seen without consent. I can't imagine how a woman would feel seeing this as such a commonly shown thing.
Basically: sorry women

lockerpaint

2y↑39

Every night before I go to bed, I double-check that my blinds are completely closed. I look under my bed like I'm a little kid. I check in my wardrobe and closet. For some reason, I'm petrified of the idea of someone spying on me while I'm changing or unconscious, and I can't sleep well unless I know there's no one watching.
So yeah. These "harmless peeping Toms" scare the shit out of me.

Dallyn S

2y↑13.5K

Quite disturbing how you were able to find a seemingly endless amount of clips for the video. Made me realize how often it’s used and how desensitized I’ve become to seeing it over and over. Great analysis as always can’t wait for the next video.

sapnupuas

2y↑452

on the bright side at least most were pre 2012, hopefully that means the trend is dying in popular media

Madeline Quinn

2y↑306

I can even think of more that weren't included! its crazy how prevalent this trope is

Z R

2y↑47

This video reminded me of an old aftershave commercial where at one point the man who represents the product fall into a woman's balcony and he can see her naked in her room, she screams but he smiles at the camera to show how awsome the situation is. I saw the commercial at a very young age and I've been scared to undress in my room ever since. I found different ways to change my clothes by always having my body covered - even when I'm alone in my room

die andere Amanda

2y↑53

I really love this video. As a teenage girl I first realized how much I viewed myself through "male eyes", even when I was completely alone - and it's still hard to unlearn this. It's also weirdly intrenched in desire. Think about how you imagine sexual situations in your head.. do you only think about the other person, or do you mostly imagine how you would look? (Correspondingly, most pornography, but also "sexy" scenes from mainstream media often show eroticized images of women, but leave men in the background, almost invisible and almost never objectified.
It's so strange to have internalized that you and women in general can and will routinely be viewed as objects and to even partake yourself in doing so...it makes me very angry

Gaynebula

2y↑40

John Wendel

2y↑26

One thing you really didn’t get into here: a lot (though certainly not all) of these incidents in movies and TV start as an accident, which is true to life (like the scenes in Friends where Phoebe, Rachel, and ultimately Ross see Monica and Chandler making out). What makes that creepy, or not, is what follows. A guy isn’t to be blamed if he accidentally catches a glimpse of a woman changing because she unthinkingly left her blinds open - he is to be blamed if he tries to set up repeats, especially if he invites others to join him.

…⁠ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ

2y↑16

YES! Thank you.
So yeah. Consent is sexy and being a decent human being is actually very attractive. It's not a lot we're asking for.💀

Seqka711

2y↑2.1K

This brought me back to a moment in high school I totally forgot about! I was in a band with two guys (I'm a girl and my bandmates knew I dated girls) and one of my bandmates showed us a video he took of his naked girlfriend and I was like "eww wtf why would you show us that??" and he looked so confused about why I wasn't into it. I totally forgot about it, but now I see that he was trying to win social points. Guess he thought I counted as one of the dudes since I like chicks.

Now I wish I had indicted him harder about the lack of consent instead of just saying that it's weird to show people pics/vids of your naked girlfriend lol.

DeathnoteBB

2y↑423

It’s horrifying how men seem to be incapable of knowing what consent is

Astrin Ymris

2y↑319

@DeathnoteBB When we have movies and TV shows normalizing these kinds of invasions of privacy, it's easy for men to develop confused ideas about what consent and boundaries. After all, women and girls are shown being at most mildly annoyed about voyeurism in popular culture; that's what makes analyzing media messages so important.

Juta Stokes

2y↑208

I wish one of the dudes with you had spoken up at all. I can count on the nails of one finger how many guys I know who would always shut stuff like that down amongst other guys, and he really struggles finding and keeping dude friends.

Skyler Momoko

2y↑103

@Astrin Ymris Agreed. This kind of media is so so important because it's so prevalent in changing the way we see what consent is. Young teens pick up on this and what they see, they will do. If we want them to do better, our films need to be better.

3 More Replies...

Tee Hlfx

1y↑60

A lot of directors have also lied to female actors about what would be shown to to be able to get the ‘shot’ they want without consent. (Sharon Stone one of the most famous examples of that). Or the actor is in a position where they don’t feel they can set boundaries without repercussions either with the current role or their future career. Forced consent.

Thank you so much for these videos.

MxPokirby Archive

1y↑27

These types of voyeuristic jokes really messed with my head as a kid. Despite the victim of these jokes almost always being women, I still found myself (back when I thought I was a boy) extremely anxious about being walked in on in the bathroom, or changing clothes anywhere that wasn't behind a locked door and covered windows. I even felt uncomfortable being "exposed" in front of certain objects, like plushes or photographs. To my child brain, it felt like an inevitable law of the universe that it would happen to me if I weren't always 110% on alert.

Gaaraloverr1

2y↑35

It’s wild! The only time I remember seeing the genders reversed is in Road To El Dorado, but even that isn’t a one-to-one comparison because the men knew Chel was there, and she left when asked. Not exactly the same as a sneaky peeping tom.

Nev S.

2y↑15

Does anyone else experience this or have I just been insane since like 2nd grade ??
Even when I'm alone, I'm afraid men are watching me. Ever since I was in elementary school, my mind has imagined random men/boys in my life watching me in the shower, getting changed, lying down, etc. and I don't know why. It's like there's a whole dialogue going on in my head between a narrator and the men, while I'm just going about my business, paranoid and unable to control the situation my mind is creating. I constantly feel like there are hidden cameras or that random guys just somehow know what I'm doing even though I'm completely alone. Maybe the prevelance of this peeping tom trope has something to do w it? I dont know..

n i c o l e

2y↑28

I remember watching "normal people" a couple months ago and thinking "aren't we gonna see the pictures? THANK YOU SO MUCH" and then Connell calling out his friend for doing that!! omg I think it was the first time I watched a scene like that so well produced

Trini Fernandez

2y↑5K

I was recorded during a sex act without my consent while I was in high school. It is until this day one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to me, and even though it has been years since then, I cannot think about it without getting anxious and wanting to cry.
It's nice to see people talking about it.
Let's speak about how fucking shitty this attitudes are.
Violating privacy is not victimless.

Shannon Weatherly

2y↑22

I didn't realize how much this affects all women in the way we control if we are seen. I had my husband help me do checks outside our house with one standing by the windows and one watching from the street to see if any of the curtains showed details/were too sheer at night with the lights on. I was that paranoid. And then he will undress at night in front of the window with a curtain opened. Completely unbothered.

Desert Mermaid

2y↑29

In M.A.S.H the movie there's a horrible scene where a bunch of men set up a female nurse they didn't like. If I recall correctly it was because she didn't respond to their advances. They all sit around the women's shower then drop the canvas wall while she's showering. She's really traumatized and they laugh and hoot. I'm glad my mother said how mean that was when I saw it as a kid. And she was constantly portrayed as a bitch.

Lucy Peace

1y↑10

This should be on television. I'm so glad someone finally talked about it. It's so uncomfortable, as a woman, to be watching this happening and having these guys frames as being somehow good people!

Rachelle

2y↑26

this video hits so many points for me
my ex would call me a "tease", and that somehow that I wasn't on display was a signal of not loving him, as if he was owed

it's scary how media can plant those seeds of doubt in men

Carly Wells

2y↑99

A couple months ago a guy friend told me he had a picture of a coworker of his (not explicitly sexual, she was at work and fully clothed but happened to be a person existing with larger breasts so he held onto the photo). He told me about it several times before actually showing it to me. I felt so weird and awful about it but didn’t know why because I was always excited to be included in his genuinely harmless “guys bein dudes” activities. (i.e. he taught me how to play video games, I shot my first bb gun with him, we’re not afraid to get muddy and drunk on hikes etc).
But I didn’t cheer him on for showing me, I let him know it was weird but I wish I had been more aggressive at the time. I couldn’t get it out of my mind for days before realizing that when I was in high school someone I trusted was taking compromising photos of me without my knowledge while I was doing every day activities. Completely minding my own business. This was 8 years ago and the disgust sits with me as if it happened yesterday. I still cry about it.
I approached my friend about it and he deleted the photo of his coworker off his phone but as it was very well articulated by this video, I believe this is an issue deeply rooted in sex and fantasy for most men, including this friend. I don’t think my one story will sway his opinion when there’s countless other stories specifically built to entice him into this problematic behavior. I’ll never trust him again. It sucks.

Test1 \test2

2y↑1.6K

Again, quality! The frustrating thing is, as a woman when pointing out things in this vein, we are labelled as b*** or told we have no sense of humour, or that we read too much into something, or are nazi feminists.

With love, J.

2y↑17

Its fucking crazy how you nailed it, man. I was never able to express this in words. Or when I tried to, people thought I was taking cinema too seriously. But it's right there.

It's crazy how these things shape our behaviour and our own beliefs and reality, dictating to both boys and girls how they should act and what they should expect and how they should perceive themselves.

That how we inherent misogyny and sexism and that's the easiest way it can penetrate in our lives and not being seen as a big deal; rather, just a part of life, as normal as going to school or to work; and it is portrayed in a way that everyone like me does it/ everyone like me allows it, so I should probably do the same.

shitt_ snacker

2y↑15

My views on myself and my body (even from the age of 8) have been skewed. I grew up watching so many things with this trope. I would hope that someone was watching me undress because I thought that was the only value in me undressing(changing, showering, getting comfortable or just doing something for myself had no value) I would do things like leave my blinds up and put on a “performance” thinking that someone would catch a glimpse and I could feel wanted. This was extremely damaging at age 8 and on. With that same time period having very skimpy clothes on trend, even in public I would put myself on display and be the subject of sexual attention starting around when I was 11. All of my worth was hinging on how much I could be desired by men. Not by my intelligence, creativity, love and existence. It was my only form of validation for years. Now as a 23 year old (gender non-conforming queer) woman, I still have to challenge my thoughts daily and remind myself that I don’t need to put myself on display for others. Thank you for taking about this. I feel seen in the right way.