By the time Ryan graduated from NYU in December 2013, she had notebooks filled with various writings, including what she describes as "long short stories and long-winded randomness." She wrote "Mine" last June, after heading to Nashville to work with producer/songwriter Kyle Shearer (Tove Lo, Augustana) and latching onto the phrase "gold in the wreckage," which she had discovered jotted down in one of her many notebooks.
Phoebe Ryan caught the attention of the music blogosphere on the time when she started releasing various kind of remixes & covers of famous singer such as R.Kelly, Miguel & Kesha. But it is not much as it was after release of her own first single "Mine" in late January of 2015. "I feel like I've been waiting forever and ever to put out my own music, to make it official," Ryan tells Billboard. "And now everything's starting to get super real. One of my favorite songs I've ever written is now out in the world. And people seem to like it!"
Later on Ryan released her first debut EP "Mine" on 9 June 2015. Ryan says that she and her small team is "trying to get this thing off the ground before even thinking about such nonsense as a record label," but firmly believes that her goals will be achieved. But, later on she was owned by Columbia Records.
"There are times in my life where I'm doubtful, but I feel it in my heart that something's supposed to happen that's going to be wonderful," she says. "I'm just too optimistic, really."
Dead
Phoebe Ryan Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Self-estranged, did what I wanted
I was a fake, I slept just the same
I'm not a saint, no, I'm not a saint
Oh, no it doesn't make sense
Oh, no I don't understand
When things are good
I really wish I could just tell myself I gotta feel
Feel something else instead
Cause lately life is like a dream
It's messing with my head
I must be dead
I've been a wreck, took things too far
Made a mess, felt like a star
I've broken hearts and goddamn I slept the same
I'm not a saint, no, I'm not a saint
Oh, no it doesn't make sense
Oh, no I don't understand
When things are good
I don't believe that they're for real
I really wish I could just tell myself I gotta feel
Feel something else instead
Cause lately life is like a dream
It's messing with my head
I must be dead
So, suddenly it's all picture perfect
Life is so good and I don't deserve it
When things are good
I don't believe that they're for real
I really wish I could just tell myself I gotta feel
Feel something else instead
Cause lately life is like a dream
It's messing with my head
I must be dead
I must be dead
I must be dead (I must be dead I don't believe it)
I must be dead (I tell myself I could be dreaming)
I must be dead (I must be dead I don't believe it)
The lyrics of Phoebe Ryan's song, Dead in 2-3, are about self-reflection and owning up to one's mistakes. The lines "I've made mistakes, been dishonest, self-estranged, did what I wanted" highlights that the singer has recognized their transgressions and is willing to admit them. The lines "I was a fake, I slept just the same, I'm not a saint, no, I'm not a saint" further emphasize the singer's self-awareness of their flaws.
The chorus, "When things are good, I don't believe that they're for real, I really wish I could just tell myself I gotta feel, Feel something else instead, Cause lately life is like a dream, It's messing with my head, I must be dead" talks about the singer's inability to believe in happiness or positivity. Despite experiencing good things, the singer has trouble accepting them and continuously doubts their authenticity.
The bridge, "So, suddenly, it's all picture perfect, Life is so good and I don't deserve it" showcases the singer's belief that they do not deserve happiness due to their past mistakes. The repetition of "I must be dead" throughout the song shows the singer's struggle with accepting their current reality and believing in their own worth.
Overall, the song is a powerful reflection on self-awareness and the struggle to accept happiness and positivity in one's life despite past mistakes.
Line by Line Meaning
I've made mistakes, been dishonest
I have not been truthful and have erred in my actions
Self-estranged, did what I wanted
I have isolated myself and acted based on my own desires
I was a fake, I slept just the same
I was not genuine and indulged in the same behaviors
I'm not a saint, no, I'm not a saint
I am not perfect and have flaws
Oh, no it doesn't make sense
I cannot understand why things are the way they are
Oh, no I don't understand
I do not comprehend the reasons for certain situations
When things are good
During positive moments
I don't believe that they're for real
I do not trust that these moments are genuine
I really wish I could just tell myself I gotta feel
I desire the ability to feel differently
Feel something else instead
Experience emotions that are different from what I am currently feeling
Cause lately life is like a dream
I feel as though I am in a dream-like state
It's messing with my head
It is affecting my psyche
I must be dead
I question whether or not I am alive
I've been a wreck, took things too far
My emotional state has been unstable and I have acted excessively
Made a mess, felt like a star
I caused chaos, but still felt powerful or famous
I've broken hearts and goddamn I slept the same
I have caused emotional pain to others and still acted the same
So, suddenly it's all picture perfect
Things suddenly appear to be perfect
Life is so good and I don't deserve it
I do not feel worthy of the positive things happening in my life
I must be dead (I must be dead I don't believe it)
I question whether or not I am actually alive
I must be dead (I tell myself I could be dreaming)
I question whether or not I am actually awake
I must be dead (I must be dead I don't believe it)
I question whether or not I am actually alive
Contributed by Lucas H. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@GRQJOYEUX
This song's much better than most of the popular singers' 50 million viewed songs.
@lilinhijau2
haha...yup
@malemyensenbam7978
yeaaaaaassss !!! u get it i get it why can't the rest of the people get it ?!!
@arooshatariq5573
Hey no need to bring other people down for the sake of your favorites <3
@Dan-di9jd
ok
@lisas7948
she's so underrated
@kayleewealot3557
agreed
@SenseiDonGraham
Ya I was shocked when I saw the views on this video... and then you have so many "popular" artists with millions and the music isn't anywhere near this... who determines mainstream music lol?
@onelgalagedara4472
Nullveer at least she got some more fame from the chainsmokers right?
@KDD8
She looks like my next girlfriend