Hyman began singing professionally in 1971 as part of the group The New Direction. She was also a member of Miami groups All The People and The Hondo Beat before forming Phyllis Hyman & the P/H Factor in 1974 and touring for two years before relocating to New York.
She became a featured vocalist on Norman Connors' album, You Are My Starship (1976) performing "Betcha By Golly Wow" and the duet "We Both Need Each Other" with Michael Henderson.
Hyman released her debut album on Buddah Records with Phyllis Hyman (1977), followed by Sing a Song (1979). After the second album, she signed with Arista, delivering: Somewhere in My Lifetime (1979); You Know How to Love Me (1979); Can't We Fall in Love Again (1981); and Goddess of Love (1983). She then joined Gamble & Huff at Philadelphia International for Living All Alone (1987); Prime of My Life (1991); and I Refuse to Be Lonely (1995), which was released posthumously.
Hyman's first solo Top Ten hit came in 1981 with "Can't We Fall In Love Again", a duet with Michael Henderson. The song was recorded while she was performing in the Broadway musical Sophisticated Ladies (1981), a tribute to Duke Ellington. She performed in the role for almost two years, receiving a Theatre World Award for Best Newcomer and a Tony Awards nomination for Best Supporting Actress in a Musical. In 1992 she was voted 'Number One Best Female Vocalist' in the United Kingdom by Blues & Soul magazine readers. She has also been honored with a bronze plaque along the Philadelphia Walk of Fame, a tribute to the city's native and immigrant musical legends.
In addition to duets with Henderson, Hyman lent vocals to projects with Grover Washington Jr., Pharoah Sanders, McCoy Tyner, Joe Sample, Lonnie Liston Smith, Jon Lucien, The Fatback Band, Chuck Mangione, The Whispers and The Four Tops. Some of these collaborations appear on One on One (1998).
She can be heard in movie soundtracks: for Too Scared to Scream ("I'll Be There"); The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh ("Magic Mona"); and School Daze ("Be One"). The latter two titles are included on In Between the Heartaches (2004), a compilation that also contains guest appearances and previously unreleased material.
On the afternoon of June 30, 1995, Hyman committed suicide, leaving a note to her fans, family and friends that read in part: "I'm tired. I'm tired. Those of you that I love know who you are. May God bless you." She was buried on what would have been her 46th birthday. For her stage presence and fashion sense, Hyman was often known as "The Sophisticated Lady".
At the coda of a particularly pretty and memorable tune from McCoy Tyner's "Looking Out" called "In Search of My Heart", Phyllis soulfully sings "Remember me!"
I Refuse To Be Lonely
Phyllis Hyman Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Can't hold you to the promises you make
You won't be here tonight or any other night
It would be a lie to say I'm not afraid
But to be afraid is something that I've always been
The difference is this time I'm not giving in
But for the first time in my life
I'm gonna carry on, yes, I'm gonna ache
But I will not break, some things I can choose
And baby I refuse to be lonely to be lonely
I can't change you, I can't blame you
And this time, I'm not even gonna try
You do what you have to do
I'll do the same thing too
You've got a right to say good-bye
But I've got a right to take care of myself
I realize that I come first before anyone else
Yes, I am alone, yes, I'm on my own
But for the time in my life
I'm gonna carry on, yes, I'm gonna ache
But I will not break, some things I can choose
And baby, I refuse to be lonely
Lonely is a place I used to be
But I'm closing that door, I won't live there anymore
Yes, I am alone, yes, I'm on my own
But for the first time in my life
I'm gonna carry on, yes, I'm gonna ache
But I will not break, some things I can choose
And baby, I refuse to be lonely
To be lonely, to be lonely
The lyrics of Phyllis Hyman's song "I Refuse To Be Lonely" describe the painful realization that a relationship is coming to an end. While the singer cannot hold onto the promises made by her partner, she confirms that she cannot change him, and she won't even try to do so. The song shows that she has in the past, been scared of being alone, but this time, she's choosing not to be. Although she's alone, she's going to carry on aching, but she won't break. She chooses not to feel lonely, as she recognizes that it's a place where she used to be, but now she's pushing the door shut to that past and choosing to live her life.
The lyrics of "I Refuse To Be Lonely" are empowering for anyone in a situation where a relationship has come to an end. The song's message is that one can choose to survive the pain and not give up. The singer will take care of herself; she's not afraid of being alone, and she won't compromise her self-worth to please anyone else. The song reassures listeners that it's okay to be afraid, but it's important to push through it and not dwell on the negative.
Line by Line Meaning
I can't hold you like I want to
I wish I could hold you the way I desire
Can't hold you to the promises you make
I cannot force you to keep your promises
You won't be here tonight or any other night
I know you won't be here with me now or ever
It would be a lie to say I'm not afraid
I would be dishonest if I claimed I am not scared
But to be afraid is something that I've always been
Being afraid is not new to me
The difference is this time I'm not giving in
This time, I refuse to give up and succumb to fear
Yes, I am alone, yes, I'm on my own
I acknowledge that I am by myself
But for the first time in my life
But I have decided to do something different
I'm gonna carry on, yes, I'm gonna ache
I will continue living despite the pain
But I will not break, some things I can choose
I will not allow this situation to break me since I have power over some things
And baby I refuse to be lonely to be lonely
I am determined not to be alone
I can't change you, I can't blame you
I cannot alter you, nor can I hold you responsible for my situation
And this time, I'm not even gonna try
I have made a conscious decision not to bother trying to change your mind
You do what you have to do
You will do whatever suits you
I'll do the same thing too
I will also do what is best for me
You've got a right to say good-bye
You are entitled to say farewell
But I've got a right to take care of myself
However, I have a right to prioritize my needs
I realize that I come first before anyone else
I understand that my well-being should always matter more to me than anyone else's
Lonely is a place I used to be
I have been in a lonely situation before
But I'm closing that door, I won't live there anymore
However, I am sealing off that chapter and choosing not to dwell there anymore
And baby, I refuse to be lonely
Ultimately, I won't let loneliness overpower me
To be lonely, to be lonely
Being alone is not something I aspire to be
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group, Peermusic Publishing
Written by: JUD J. FRIEDMAN, PHYLLIS HYMAN, NICK MARTINELLI, ALLAN RICH
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind