Identity Crisis
Pigeon John Lyrics

This is for the girls that used to diss me
This song is dedicated to all the girls who used to insult me.

Now they all just...wanna diss me
And now those same girls are now trying to diss me again.

It's an identity crisis (repeat 3X)
This is an identity crisis, which I am experiencing repeatedly.

I do not know what to do
I am utterly confused and uncertain about what to do.

Grow dreads or sport a bald head
I am unsure if I should grow dreadlocks or shave my head bald.

I don't know
I don't have any answers.

Wear Nikes or be Dick Van Dike
I am uncertain if I should wear Nike shoes or dress like Dick Van Dyke.

I was walking down the street
I walking down a street feeling good and happy.

To a funky beat
The rhythm of the music was funky and upbeat.

Feeling real nice
I was feeling great and happy.

Feeling real neat
I was feeling sleek and stylish.

Had a little money so I had something to eat
I had some cash and was able to buy something to eat.

Sitting alone so I kicked up my feet
I sat alone and put my feet up to relax.

And what do you know another freakazoid
Suddenly, someone with a weird personality came by.

Had a little confidence and didn't feel void
This person felt confident and happy within themselves.

Stood up slow to dust myself off
I got back up slowly and dusted myself off.

Not too hard, not too soft
I did it in just the right way.

She was shopping at Miller's Outpost dude
I noticed that she was shopping at Miller's Outpost.

She looked 14, I was that plus two
She appeared to be 14 years old while I was two years older.

I was kinda dusty cause I just finished skatin'
I had dust on me as I'd just finished skating.

Went over to her and she started hesitatin'
I approached her, and she hesitated to talk to me.

I tried to ignore it, then I kicked my game
I tried to ignore her hesitancy, and struggled to start a conversation.

And ever since then I never been the same
Since then, I have not been able to remain the same person as I was earlier.

She looked me up and down to check my stilo
She checked me out to see how I dressed and carried myself.

Before I said a word, she said she had to go
But before I could say anything, she wanted to leave.

I said "Can I come?" Started kicking my drag
I asked if I could join her, and started trying to charm her with my style.

She paused for a minute, listened to what I had
After pausing, she listened to what I was saying.

I said, "Can we talk over the phone or something
I suggested if we could talk over the phone or in private rather than being in the mall.

Instead of in the mall, be all alone or something"
I suggested we hang out somewhere else other than the mall and be alone.

She said "No thanks, it just don't feel right
She refused, saying that it just didn't feel right.

Cause you walk black and act white" (say word?)
She commented that I don't look black while walking and don't act like a normal African-American.

And as she walked away
She left after our conversation.

I could hear the ricochet
I could hear the echo bouncing back.

And it's effect on my whole dang life
And this experience affected me for a long time.

So I grew out my hair, switched up my clothes
Because of this confusion and my experience, I drastically changed my appearance.

Down with LA Symph and I rocked some shows
I joined LA Symph and performed in front of audiences.

Dancing and acting a fool and stuff
I acted silly and danced on stage during my performances.

But in the back of their mind is it all a bluff
But people started to question if it was all an act.

Am I doin' all of this just to cover it up
They started to think that I was doing all that just to conceal my confusion and identity crisis.

All of my insecurities is hovering up
All my fears and doubts were getting worse.

Either I gotta act silly or I gotta act tough
I feel like I have to act like a clown or act tough to pretend to be someone I am not.

Either I think I'm the best or I'm bout to get cut
Either I have to think and act like I am the best, or else people will criticize me and cut me down.

Do I rock hip hop or do I wear some slacks?
I'm not clear whether to continue with hip hop or dress in slacks.

Look like your homeboy or look like your dad?
I'm not sure if I should dress like a teenager or like a grown-up.

Should I sing a little more or should I stick to rap?
I'm undecided if I should improve my singing or stick to rapping.

And if I sing a little too much will they think it's black
I am worried that people might perceive my singing as being too black.

Or just a little too white to fit a Harlem night
Or just a little too white to be accepted at Harlem nightclubs.

They want to put a handcuff on the things that I write
People don't want me to write freely and want to limit my expression.

Now it's a fight just to write a freakin' normal song
Now it's a challenge even to write a normal song because I am handling an identity crisis.

Either it's too long or just wrong
Either my songs are too long or not correct, as they're struggling with my identity crisis.

This is for the girls that used to diss me
The song concludes by reiterating once more, that this song is dedicated to those women who used to insult me.

Now all you want to do is...
...but now those same girls want to put me down again.