Pulley's debut, Esteem Driven Engine, was released in 1996 by Epitaph. Riddle joined No Use for a Name full-time soon afterwards and was replaced by Tyler Rebbe. Follow-ups included 60 Cycle Hum in 1997 and their eponymous third album in 1999.
They also released Together Again for the First Time (after the death of Jim Cherry) and Matters, both showing their disillusionment with the aging out of the 'old' scene.
Looking Back
Pulley Lyrics
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I turn away and don't like what I am
The reasons why you can run and hide from answers
You would soon deny and tell me that I still don't understand
Now I always make believe I was modeled just like you
Followed in the footsteps finding everything I needed to
Walk like the dead never hear anything
The legend I've become inside of me
The years just pass him by
Never look back into the past your reality never seems to last
You fill the voids with shit and believe
Well I've made mistakes on my behalf
Paid the price can only laugh on how and why things really ought to be
Living on the edge of where my fear would touch the sky
Branded by the future scars that make me realize
I'm growing old and my story's been told, will it ever see the light of day
It's all about me this reflection I see as the years just pass on by
Figure out this anger as I watch the time go by
All these dreams and feeling without you ever on my mind
The lyrics of Pulley's song Looking Back reflects on the feelings of regret and inadequacy of the singer. He sees his reflection in the mirror and does not like what he sees. The singer then talks about how he has always tried to follow in someone's footsteps and be just like them. He thinks he has all he needs to walk the path just like them. However, he has become numb and dead inside, and the legend that he has become is not what he had imagined.
As the singer grows older, he realizes that he has made mistakes, paid the price, and can now only laugh at how things really ought to be. He is living on the edge of where his fear would touch the sky, branded by the scars of the future that make him realize that he is growing old and his story has been told. He wonders if his story will ever see the light of day. He is angry and upset about his situation, and his dreams and feelings are unable to ease his pain.
The lyrics of the song showcase how the singer has a difficult time looking back at his past and reflecting upon it. He feels inadequate, lost, and uncertain about himself, and the life he has lived. The song urges the listener to feel the singer's emotions and understand the depth of his feelings of inadequacy and regret.
Line by Line Meaning
In the mirror I can see reflections staring back at me
When I look in the mirror, I see various aspects of myself reflected back at me.
I turn away and don't like what I am
I choose to look away from my reflection because I dislike what I see.
The reasons why you can run and hide from answers
Often, people try to evade answering difficult questions.
You would soon deny and tell me that I still don't understand
Despite their evasions, people can accuse you of not understanding their point of view.
Now I always make believe I was modeled just like you
I pretend that I am just like you, hoping to find my way by following in your footsteps.
Followed in the footsteps finding everything I needed to
I mimic your behavior and choices, hoping to achieve similar success.
Walk like the dead never hear anything
I follow you blindly, as if I am dead and unaware.
The legend I've become inside of me
I have created an idealized version of myself in my mind.
Boy at his youth one day finds out the truth
When I was young, I thought I knew everything, but eventually discovered the harsh truths of life.
The years just pass him by
As time goes on, life passes by quickly.
Never look back into the past your reality never seems to last
Looking back at the past can distort our perception of the present and the future.
You fill the voids with shit and believe
We often fill gaps in our lives with meaningless things, convincing ourselves of their importance.
Well I've made mistakes on my behalf
I have made mistakes in my life, and I bear the consequences.
Paid the price can only laugh on how and why things really ought to be
Despite the cost of my mistakes, I can only laugh at how I thought things should be.
Living on the edge of where my fear would touch the sky
I live with fear, always on the brink of losing control.
Branded by the future scars that make me realize
My choices and experiences have left scars that shape my future.
I'm growing old and my story's been told, will it ever see the light of day
As I grow older, I wonder if my life's story will ever be revealed to others.
It's all about me this reflection I see as the years just pass on by
As I get older, I realize that everything I see is a reflection of myself.
Figure out this anger as I watch the time go by
As time continues to pass, I struggle to come to terms with my anger.
All these dreams and feeling without you ever on my mind
Despite my dreams and feelings, you are never on my mind.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
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