First love
R. Nikolaenko Lyrics

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We're sitting by the bedside tonight
Everything with you, felt so new
Had a couple drinks together, were we alright
Arm shaking by the window, I kissed you
Should've seen the signs not give my best
But I was hooked onto, all your texts

She don't like roses, no need model poses

Should I let her go, let her go

Baby, it's not all rainbows and sunsets
And I miss, the beauty stuck in your mess
Cause my heart can't seem to rest
Tough choices make better days
When first love drains your heart away

We baked a cake with my mom and dad
My ring on your finger was our intent
Had many firsts together, I should be glad
But were we feeding our demons, on the bed
With lust in the moment not love that we spent
Was it all just to paint the town, full of red

She don't like roses, no need model poses
Should I let her go, let her go

Baby, it's not all rainbows and sunsets
And I miss, the beauty stuck in your mess
Cause my heart can't seem to rest
Tough choices make better days
When first love drains your heart away

No more waking beside you
No more scrapbooks and sweet tunes
No more teddy bears saying, Hey Mister
No more seeing you in the crowds
No more pizza over wine and dine
It's now two different honeymoons
But I'll be alright, without you
Alright, without you

Baby, it's not all rainbows and sunsets
And I miss, the beauty stuck in your mess
Cause my heart can't seem to rest
Tough choices make better days
When first love drains your heart away

Baby, it's not all rainbows and sunsets
And I miss, the beauty stuck in your mess
Cause my heart can't seem to rest
Tough choices make better days
When first love drains your heart away

When first love drains your heart away

Overall Meaning

The song "First Love" by R. Nikolaenko is a reflection on a past relationship that was once filled with excitement, but ultimately ended in heartbreak. The lyrics vividly illustrate a night spent with the person he once loved, sitting by their bedside, drinking together and sharing a kiss. However, he hints at the fact that he may have ignored the warning signs that this relationship was not meant to be. The line "Should've seen the signs not give my best" implies that perhaps he was not fully invested in the relationship, but hooked on the attention he received from his partner.

As the song continues, he reflects on the many "firsts" they experienced together, including baking a cake and wearing a ring. Despite these happy moments, he questions whether their relationship was based on lust rather than true love, and admits that it may have been a mistake to pursue a passionate, but short-lived romance. The line "But were we feeding our demons, on the bed" suggests that their relationship may have been toxic or unhealthy in some way.

Overall, "First Love" is a bittersweet ode to a lost love, and a recognition that sometimes even the most intense romances can end in heartbreak. The repeated chorus of "Baby, it's not all rainbows and sunsets / And I miss, the beauty stuck in your mess / Cause my heart can't seem to rest / Tough choices make better days / When first love drains your heart away" underscores the idea that the pain of first love can be felt for a long time, but ultimately leads to personal growth.

Line by Line Meaning

We're sitting by the bedside tonight
Tonight, we are sitting beside the bed together.

Everything with you, felt so new
With you, everything felt so fresh and exciting.

Had a couple drinks together, were we alright
We drank together, but I wonder if we were really okay.

Arm shaking by the window, I kissed you
My arm was shaking when you kissed me by the window.

Should've seen the signs not give my best
I should have seen the signs and tried harder.

But I was hooked onto, all your texts
I was addicted to all the texts you sent me.

She don't like roses, no need model poses
She doesn't like roses and doesn't need to pose like a model.

Should I let her go, let her go
I wonder if I should let her go.

Baby, it's not all rainbows and sunsets
Life isn't always perfect and beautiful.

And I miss, the beauty stuck in your mess
I miss the beauty that's hidden within the chaos of your life.

Cause my heart can't seem to rest
My heart can't seem to find peace.

Tough choices make better days
Difficult decisions can lead to better times.

When first love drains your heart away
When your first love ends, it can leave you heartbroken and drained.

We baked a cake with my mom and dad
We baked a cake with my parents.

My ring on your finger was our intent
Our intention was for you to wear the ring I gave you.

Had many firsts together, I should be glad
We shared a lot of firsts together, and I should be happy about that.

But were we feeding our demons, on the bed
Were we indulging in our sins in bed?

With lust in the moment not love that we spent
We were driven by lust, not love when we were together.

Was it all just to paint the town, full of red
Did we do it all just to have a wild time and leave our mark on the town?

No more waking beside you
I don't wake up next to you anymore.

No more scrapbooks and sweet tunes
We don't make scrapbooks or listen to sweet tunes together anymore.

No more teddy bears saying, Hey Mister
I no longer see the teddy bear that used to say 'Hey Mister'.

No more seeing you in the crowds
I don't see you in crowds anymore.

No more pizza over wine and dine
We don't have pizza while wining and dining anymore.

It's now two different honeymoons
Now we are both on different paths.

But I'll be alright, without you
I will be okay without you.