Active during his pre-debut days as an underground rapper ( Runch Randa ). With his 13 years old Nam-joon were already a prodigy in rap, impressing even older underground rappers. He made a collab with the famous rapper Zico where can be found on SoundCloud.
He released his first solo mixtape in 2015, titled RM. Is a work where Nam-joon talks about his mental health, his passion, his deep thoughts about the world around him and also about love. Until today this mixtape is considered one of the best works inside the Korean Hip-Hop scene.
In 2018 he came with a new mixtape called "mono.". A simple work with a few collaborations where Nam-joon tried lofi Hip-Hop and ballad. Different than his previous work but with the same deep thoughts and metaphors that make RM a unique artist. Also 'mono.' is available on Spotify and iTunes and in it's first day of release the mixtape reached high positions on stream plataforms giving RM a profile with verification and more acknowledged as rapper, producer and songwriter.
A lot of prestigious artists, from South Korea and EUA got interest in RM and invited him for collaborations. Famous american rappers like Wale and Lil Nas X, even the rock group Fall Out Boy and famous Korean artists like Drunken Tiger and Gaeko.
In 2017 was released the track "Change", a collab between Wale and Rap Monster (RM), witch is a track that talks about violence, school system, bullying and cyber bullying, how people are controlled by the government and their wish that the world is gonna change.
In 2019 Lil Nas X called RM for one of the remixes of his hit "Old Town Road". And this collab gave Nam-joon a chance to perform along with Lil Nas X for the first time on 2019 edition of Grammy's stage.
Suicide
Rap Monster Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
but, now I got no place to go and now I feel agoraphobia
Can't describe how lonely I am, I know this isn't a game
But I'm beating the fan, I'm beating the fan
I do this shit again and again
Boy, what the hell are you afraid of?
You are your life's creator, something you definitely ain't gonna get paid off
Just don't be a bitch, be a real player
Need somebody to stand by my side, for a moment no forever
Never would've looked for a safe to hide
I wait for you, I stay for you. Everything I made for you.
Just for you, what's made for you. Don't need to make it yet, but just for you.
They always say, only you be way better but I don't believe their shitter.
Honestly I'm falling up the ladder, maybe this song will be my last letter.
All the history and times all we have
Just tell I'm sorry and now give me your rest (I'll take it to you)
If my passion is what you need (I'll give it for ya)
If conclusion is what you mean, now set me free so that I'll forget
If conclusion is what you mean, now set me free so that I'll forget
The lyrics to Rap Monster's "Suicide" speak to the feelings of loneliness and desperation that can lead someone to contemplate taking their own life. The first two lines show a desire to find a utopia, a place of perfect happiness and contentment, but instead the singer feels agoraphobia, a fear of open spaces or of being around people. The repetition of the line "I'm beating the fan" suggests a frustration or anger that is taken out on an inanimate object, perhaps as a way to cope with emotions that are difficult to express.
The second verse addresses the singer's fear and insecurity, urging him to be a "real player" and not give in to cowardice. He is looking for someone to stand beside him, but only for a moment, not forever, showing a sense of disconnect and transience. The line "falling up the ladder" is especially poignant, as it suggests the struggle to succeed while feeling like you're going nowhere. The final lines underscore the singer's desperation, asking for forgiveness and release.
Overall, the song conveys a sense of hopelessness and despair, but also a desire for connection and understanding. It speaks to the loneliness and pain that can lead to suicidal thoughts, as well as the struggle to find meaning and purpose in life.
Line by Line Meaning
I've walked this long way from home to find my real utopia
I have traveled far from my place of origin in search of my version of paradise
but, now I got no place to go and now I feel agoraphobia
However, I have not found my ideal destination and now feel trapped with nowhere to go, causing me anxiety when faced with open spaces.
Can't describe how lonely I am, I know this isn't a game
I cannot express how isolated I currently feel, despite knowing that life is not a mere plaything.
But I'm beating the fan, I'm beating the fan
Instead of succumbing to my emotions, I continue to push forward despite hitting a metaphorical wall.
I do this shit again and again
I repeatedly put myself through this struggle, even though it is mentally draining.
Boy, what the hell are you afraid of?
I question why I am allowing fear to control me.
You are your life's creator, something you definitely ain't gonna get paid off
I remind myself that I have the power to shape my own life, and that no amount of external reward will validate my existence.
Just don't be a bitch, be a real player
I urge myself to be strong and resilient in the face of adversity.
There's nothing, I'm sick of this
Despite my efforts to push through, I feel exhausted and tired of the ongoing struggle.
Need somebody to stand by my side, for a moment no forever
In my moment of weakness, I desire someone to support and uplift me, even if only temporarily.
Never would've looked for a safe to hide
I refuse to seek refuge in a comfortable but unfulfilling situation.
I wait for you, I stay for you. Everything I made for you.
I patiently wait and remain committed to someone, dedicating all that I have created to them.
Just for you, what's made for you. Don't need to make it yet, but just for you.
My creation is specifically tailored to this one person and intended solely for their benefit, regardless of whether or not it is completed.
They always say, only you be way better but I don't believe their shitter.
Others claim that this person is the key to my success, but I do not believe their lies.
Honestly I'm falling up the ladder, maybe this song will be my last letter.
Despite my efforts to climb higher, I feel as though I am spiraling downwards and maybe this song will be my final message.
All the history and times all we have
All we possess are our shared past experiences.
Just tell I'm sorry and now give me your rest (I'll take it to you)
I seek forgiveness from this person and hope that they will allow me to rest in their presence.
If my passion is what you need (I'll give it for ya)
I am willing to share my passion with this person in order to satisfy their needs.
If conclusion is what you mean, now set me free so that I'll forget
If the outcome of our relationship is to end, I ask to be released so that I may move on.
If conclusion is what you mean, now set me free so that I'll forget
If the outcome of our relationship is to end, I ask to be released so that I may move on.
Contributed by Harper P. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
Victoria 🍁
Someday I'll listen to all RM songs.
Someday.
Meybe never because he's a genius and has hidden gems here and there.
But whether I listen to all of them or not makes me deeply sad.
Because it will mean that I'll never experience all of his art.
And also that he has stopped making it.
I just love Namjoon so much and I'm glad I exist at the same time as him.
Nigel Danh
I'm in envy of addicts
You're obsessed with stars
Don't, don't you sound
So excited
Showing me your vanity
Whisper it once, just a little bit
Come on, whisper it twice
I can't stand to see
The spotlight shine
One more night
It's killing me to see you
Just tie the rope
Oh, and kick the chair
Just leave me hanging there
Gasping for air, yeah
Don't mind me
Three feet from the ceiling
You'd rather watch me drown
Then see your hands get wet
You took the plot from stage to screen
And turned it to
Epic scene
So, whisper it once, tell me again
Come on, whisper it twice
I can't stand to see
My whole life flash
Before my eyes
When I'm with you, there's
No point in breathing
No point in breathing
Just tie the rope
Oh, and kick the chair
Just leave me hanging there
Gasping for air, yeah
Don't mind me
Three feet from the ceiling
I think I know, whoa, whoa
Why you never get too close
It's 'cause you're too scared to
When I'm with you there's
No point in breathing
So, so you run away
For no apparent reason
'Cause you and I are
Changing with the seasons
You give me an answer
As to why you're leaving
The table's full
No one's been dealing
So fold your hand
Go on and fold your hand
Just tie the rope
Oh, and kick the chair
Just leave me hanging there
Gasping for air, yeah
Don't mind me
Three feet from the ceiling
I think I know, whoa, whoa
Why you never get too close
It's 'cause you're too scared to
When I'm with you there's
No point in breathing
No point in breathing
No point in breathing
no twerking in this house
Please, don't apologize
This song is to let it all out
You don't have to change yourself, cause there is no one like you
As someone told me, you just need to hug your wings <3
I know the meaning of depression & anxiety, so you can let it out here
Ate Merlusca
People always say they can't listen to Nam's old songs because knowing how much he hurt hurts them too. But maybe we can change that narrative: the boy that rapped about his last letter now has millions of fans who love him. The boy whose parents didn't let him do music is now a Grammy nominee. The little boy from Korea that didn't understand life is now grown up and achieved everything and more than he would in his wildest dreams. These old songs are proof of the saying "If you truly want something, the whole universe conspires into helping you achieve it".
Alex Online
oh my god. this sound like a suicide note. im so moved, knowing that he stayed alive and is the amazing person we know today
prismatic lacewing
Agreed 👍🏻, Also, I made your comment a well deserved 600 likes.
Nguyên Bùi
Honestly (RM) Namjoon's a beautiful, innocent soul comes from heaven but this world hurt him a lot. He'd said that he can't understand why people hate him so much. I can't either. He's smart and thoughtful. He has a sexy, manly face and a perfect body. He loves and cares about people around him, this is the proof that's he has a precious heart. I can't hope this world treat him better so I just pray from my heart that's he will always find out the reasons to love himself. (sorry for my bad grammar anw)
andojansun
Same as me. I wanted it die months ago because I had my last straw
Nguyên Bùi
@andojansun I'm glad you still staying with us. Life is hard sometime but after all it's will be fine and your soul will become more beautiful and mature. Be patient and love yourself.
no twerking in this house
@Nguyên Bùi
I saw you in rms reflection video for his bday and i just wanna say thank you for always having his back ♡
Really wish there were more people like you, especially in the fandom
Luyando Kalenga
Forget ur grammar, it's that ur point came across, I'm with you, how do u hate someone like him, or any of his brothers ? I'm not even gonna lie, I do include them in my prayers, as often as I can, that they may continue on, healthy and happy , genuinely happy , bcoz they are our happiness too 💜...... BTS is currently my biggest reason to live, so I hope they continue smiling, for the sake of an ARMY they don't know exists 😂🤧, saranghae Joonie ✊💜, borahae BTS ✨
BANGTANㅇㅅㅇ
I don't know why some people hate him for no reason 😔
Anshika Adhikari
Found this song today for the first time [even tho i have been an ARMY for almost 3 years now] and coincidentally it turns 10 years old today. And all i can say is I am so so soo proud of you Joon. He came such a long way and has worked so hard.
Thank You so much for never giving up