That was 1994, when Raz Ohara had just moved to Berlin.
Raz was 18 at the time. He soon found a room to rent above a jazz club. He sat there every night, listening to the music, watching the people, absorbing his surroundings.
It was a seedy, noirish world, like something from the American movies of the 80s. Raz bonded with the club’s resident DJ, and together they founded a hip-hop crew.
Raz, however, had a lingering and persistent desire to create his very own music, music of its own kind, music beyond any existing genre. He bought a sampler and started to produce beats that he could sing over. “I had always written songs on guitar, but now I was working hard to incorporate new elements. I gave the tracks to a small record company in Berlin-mitte.” A year later the LP Realtime Voyeur was released on Kitty-Yo.
At around the same time Raz started to make his first live appearances. He got to know Dr Phelbs and Robert Defcon (No Underground) and a Canadian guy called Wolf (aka Chilly Gonzalez). Every Wednesday night for almost 2 years, they, The Nightline City Cruisers, would sit on leather couches at the Maria club, playing improvised sets – drawing on breakbeat, soul, and electro - that lasted several hours. Robert supplied the beats, Phelbs played bass, Wolf took care of keys and Raz sang.
“We jammed on and on…People dancing round and round…We smoked and drank into the early mornings. I had just entered my twenties. This was my swinging Berlin, 1998.”
In February of 1999, Raz’s father - a freight ship captain - died at the hands of a storm in the cold, unforgiving Atlantic ocean. Since an early age he had been travelling around the world by ship with his father. Out there he felt some kind of freedom, and a desire to sing - loud and unconcerned, because nobody could hear him. His father’s sad passing reconnected Raz with the essence of why he was making music.
“I began writing songs on guitar again, just the way I did when I was 14. I recorded 17 tracks, simple songs, close-ups, reflecting my feelings at that time. I then again gave them to Kitty-Yo and they released in February 2001 as The Last Legend LP.”
Live performances went less well. “I had no energy and I was incapable of finding someone to help me…For all the people I knew, those I really understood and musically got along with had either gone mad or died. Even me, I began to think. I was increasingly isolated from the outside world.”
Then one day Raz’s publisher phoned him, asking if he would be interested in doing a track with a young, up-and-coming techno producer, Alexander Kowalski. Raz recorded his vocals, but his interest didn’t end there. He wanted to get involved with the club scene, and people in general, again. So he asked Alexander if he could play along with him on his live-sets. They had their first gig at the legendary Berlin club Ostgut (Berghain).
“That was a new world for me. I hadn’t seen anything like it…The crowd was very good-natured – in itself a new experience for me in Berlin.”
Shortly after, in 2002, the duo’s singles ‘All I Got To Know’ and ‘Hot Spot’ were released, and they toured extensively.
Some years passed by just like that. I started to do dance tracks and playing live-sets on parties myself. i sang on numerous productions of notable colleagues and my own dance tracks were being released on different labels.
Still, though, Raz’s restlessness persisted, as if he was ever seeking something, or at least trying to escape something. One day, he walked into Doerell. Raz had once seen him playing his album at an art exhibition; he’d also heard him play an ambient live set. Raz immediately recalled very how the vibe of his music imediately grabbed him and inspired him to say something, contribute something, sing something. “I had sat there and wishing I could meet someone who could help me do music similar to this. And now I run in to him on the street. We had a chat and made a date.”
Raz began to record song-sketches, giving them to Oliver Doerell. Oliver would take the sketches and add his own thoughts, collaborations and embellishments. Raz and he continued to hand sketches back and forth; the resulting album is Raz Ohara and the Odd Orchestra.
Agony
Raz Ohara and The Odd Orchestra Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
And you're the purest soul i've ever got to know
I fear to reach it
But you, you seem so close
To where i would wanna go
Still pull same old tricks
Used to make you sick
We cannot run away
My mind won't stop to trip
Eating with your chopsticks
And i cannot get away
You're with me everyday
Agony will slowly fade
But somewhere deep a stain remains
And i try to wash it off
But it won't go away
She shines and meets me
You're one step from our goal
Too far to get to know
Her lies are no secret
And i never was the gold
You'd let dive in your soul
I know you're out at night
Fleeting into the sky
And when i wake up in dreams
An angel's taken me...
And it's obvious and clear
You don't belong to here
And i cannot get away
You're with me everyday
Agony will slowly fade
But somewhere deep a stain remains
And i try to wash it off
But it won't go away
Every time i hear your name
I'm reminded of my runaway
In my heart, still feel your pain
And it won't go away
In the song "Agony," Raz Ohara and The Odd Orchestra explore the complex emotions of a past relationship that still haunts the singer. The lyrics start with the idea of "hiding but seeking," which could represent the singer's mixed feelings about wanting to forget the pain of the past but also being drawn back to the memories of the relationship. The next lines describe the subject of the memories, a person with a "pure soul," whom the singer admires but is also afraid to approach. The singer notes that this person is close to where they want to be, but they can't quite reach them.
As the song progresses, the singer mentions "the same old tricks" that used to harm the relationship. This line suggests that despite the singer's admiration for their former partner, the relationship was toxic and painful. The singer reminisces about the times when they had meals together and when they were unable to escape each other's presence. The chorus repeats the idea that the "agony" of the past will fade over time, but the pain will never completely disappear. The following verse talks about another woman who "shines" and is "one step from our goal." This could represent the idea of the singer moving on to someone else but still being unable to fully let go of their past hurt.
Overall, "Agony" is a song about the lingering pain of a past relationship that cannot be fully forgotten. The lyrics capture the complex emotions of both longing and dread that can accompany memories of a previous partner.
Line by Line Meaning
You hide but seek it
You try to conceal something, but you want others to find it.
And you're the purest soul i've ever got to know
You possess a genuine and untainted character that I have experienced.
I fear to reach it
I'm hesitant to get close to it.
But you, you seem so close
But you appear to be very near to it.
To where i would wanna go
A place that I aspire to reach.
Still pull same old tricks
You still use the same deceitful tactics.
Used to make you sick
That once used to make you nauseated.
And it's how you used to say
And it's the exact manner in which you spoke.
We cannot run away
We cannot escape from this situation.
My mind won't stop to trip
My thoughts won't cease to obsess over this.
Eating with your chopsticks
You are handling the matter in a foreign and unconventional way.
And i cannot get away
I am unable to escape from this situation.
You're with me everyday
You are a regular and constant presence in my life.
Agony will slowly fade
The intense pain will gradually reduce.
But somewhere deep a stain remains
However, a permanent reminder of the hurt remains.
And i try to wash it off
And I attempt to cleanse myself of the negative feelings.
But it won't go away
But it does not disappear completely.
She shines and meets me
She radiates and encounters me.
You're one step from our goal
You are very close to achieving our objective.
Too far to get to know
However, it is still difficult to fully understand you.
Her lies are no secret
Her falsehoods are well-known.
And i never was the gold
And I never held the same value to you as others.
You'd let dive in your soul
You would allow others to explore the depths of your being.
I know you're out at night
I am aware that you go out at night.
Fleeting into the sky
And you leave quickly, disappearing into the sky.
And when i wake up in dreams
And when I awaken from my dreams.
An angel's taken me...
An ethereal being has transported me to another world.
And it's obvious and clear
And it is evident and easily perceivable.
You don't belong to here
That you are not meant to be here.
And i cannot get away
And there is no escape from this reality.
You're with me everyday
You are a constant presence in my daily existence.
Every time i hear your name
Whenever I hear your name.
I'm reminded of my runaway
I am reminded of when I fled from something.
In my heart, still feel your pain
I still feel the sorrow that you caused me.
And it won't go away
And it persists, refusing to dissipate completely.
Contributed by Jeremiah H. Suggest a correction in the comments below.