Sadist
Reflections Lyrics


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Sadist... Sadist... Sadist... Sadist... SADIST.
I never knew, you were a voice that made its home, inside my head.
Now i'm carving scars in my arm to remember what if feels like to feel anything.
It was only the start.
My addiction, to tearing myself apart.
I'm in love with hating myself, its the only real thing, i've ever felt.
FUCK.
I hold a gun, to the head of god.
Please tell me where I went wrong.
Every single step I take, leads me right back to the same mistakes.
I've been, here before, but I adore the pain.
Keep coming back for more.
I bleed, just to see, if theres anything left inside of me.
We are a perfect fit, a sadist, and a masochist.
BLEGH




I've never been good enough.
I am never, good enough.

Overall Meaning

The song "Sadist" by Reflections is a haunting representation of an individual who has been consumed by self-loathing and addiction, expressed through the lyrics and the band's heavy instrumentation. The type of addiction being referred to in the song is the act of self-harm. The opening lines, "Sadist... Sadist... Sadist... Sadist... SADIST" indicate an individual who has become a slave to their own thoughts and actions. The following line, "I never knew you were a voice that made its home inside my head", suggests an individual who has been overcome by their own self-destructive thoughts and desires.


The lyrics continue with "Now I'm carving scars in my arm to remember what it feels like to feel anything.. My addiction, to tearing myself apart... I'm in love with hating myself, it's the only real thing, I've ever felt." The self-harm is viewed as a coping mechanism for the individual, providing a sense of relief and validation of their self-loathing. The lyrics also suggest that this addiction has consumed the individual's entire existence: "Every single step I take, leads me right back to the same mistakes. I've been here before, but I adore the pain. Keep coming back for more." However, it is clear that the individual is aware of the gravity of the situation, the line "I hold a gun, to the head of god. Please tell me where I went wrong." is a metaphor for pondering past decisions and seeking answers for the root of the problem.


Overall, "Sadist" is a dark and powerful song that portrays the effects of mental illness and addiction. It is an insight into the mind of an individual who is lost in their own self-destructive thoughts, with the music and lyrics serving as a stark reminder of the importance of seeking help and working towards recovery.


Line by Line Meaning

Sadist... Sadist... Sadist... Sadist... SADIST.
The repetition of the word 'Sadist' signifies the intense pain and anguish that the singer is experiencing.


I never knew, you were a voice that made its home, inside my head.
The singer is experiencing a mental struggle and identifies the voice inside their head as the cause of their pain.


Now i'm carving scars in my arm to remember what if feels like to feel anything.
The singer is engaging in self-harm as a means of coping with their emotional pain and to remind themselves that they are capable of feeling.


It was only the start.
The artist acknowledges that their self-destructive behavior has just begun.


My addiction, to tearing myself apart.
The artist recognizes that they have a compulsive need to harm themselves.


I'm in love with hating myself, its the only real thing, i've ever felt.
The singer feels as though self-hatred is the only genuine emotion they have ever experienced.


FUCK.
The singer is overwhelmed with emotion and laments their situation.


I hold a gun, to the head of god.
The artist is using a metaphorical gun to express their anger and frustration towards a higher power.


Please tell me where I went wrong.
The artist is questioning their choices and actions that led them to their current state.


Every single step I take, leads me right back to the same mistakes.
Despite their efforts to change, the artist feels as though they are doomed to repeat their past mistakes.


I've been, here before, but I adore the pain.
The singer has a destructive relationship with their pain and is drawn to it despite the harm it causes.


Keep coming back for more.
The artist acknowledges their addiction to self-harm and the cycle of pain they are stuck in.


I bleed, just to see, if theres anything left inside of me.
The singer is using self-harm to test their ability to feel emotions.


We are a perfect fit, a sadist, and a masochist.
The singer identifies as both a sadist and a masochist, indicating a complex relationship with their pain and emotions.


BLEGH
Another expression of the singer's overwhelming emotion and frustration.


I've never been good enough.
The artist struggles with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.


I am never, good enough.
The artist's sense of worthlessness is a pervasive feeling.




Contributed by Zoe P. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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