I'm My Own Doctor
Remo Drive Lyrics

I've been self-diagnosing all of my problems
I have been identifying my own medical issues without the assistance of a professional

Carrying all my stress in the jaw
I am holding all of my anxiety and tension in my mouth

I've got all sorts of health products
I possess multiple items that claim to improve my wellbeing

Aspirin and robo, and my new skin care wash
Including, but not limited to, pain relievers, cough syrup, and a recently acquired facial cleanser

It couldn't be excessive caffeine
I do not believe my issues stem from an abundance of coffee or tea consumption

Dehydration or lack of sleep
I do not suspect my problems result from insufficient hydration or rest

I need something real heavy
I require a substantial remedy to cure my ailments

I've been banging my head to the beat of trauma
I have been processing and attempting to heal from past psychological wounds through music

Cynic and bandage by natural law
By some inherent force, I am cynical and use music as a coping mechanism

I've got all sorts of beauty products
I own various items aimed at improving my appearance

Face paint and polish, resistant to the wash
Including, but not limited to, makeup and nail polish that is long-lasting and difficult to remove

Now I don't trust my Tylenol
I lack trust in my over-the-counter painkiller medication

To save my ass when I mess up
To assist me when I make a mistake

Now I doubt my neti pot
I am skeptical about the effectiveness of my nasal irrigation device

Could even clear up all my snot
Able to alleviate congestion and mucus in my nasal passages

I need to fix myself
I must take responsibility for my own personal health and wellbeing