A Hymn To Him
Rex Harrison Lyrics

What in all of heaven could′ve prompted her to go
What reason from God's domain could have pushed her towards leaving?

After such a triumph as the ball?
After experiencing such commendable success at the dance?

What could've depressed her?
What could have caused her to undergo such sorrow and unhappiness?

What could′ve possessed her?
What could have influenced her actions in such an extreme manner?

I cannot understand the wretch at all!
I cannot comprehend the motives of that contemptible person.

Women are irrational, that's all there is to that
Females lack logic, and that's the only thing that defines them.

Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags
They have no valuable and sensible ideas; their minds carry only trivial and unimportant thoughts.

They're nothing but exasperating, irritating
They merely cause frustration and annoyance,

Vacillating, calculating, agitating
They are indecisive, scheming, and often provoke conflict.

Maddening and infuriating hags!
They are significantly aggravating and upsetting creatures!

Pickering, why can′t a woman be more like a man?
Pickering, what is the reason behind women's failure to emulate men?

Men are so honest, so thoroughly square
Males are consistently truthful and fair individuals.

Eternally noble, historically fair
Since ancient times, men have acted with honor and impartiality.

Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat
Men always acknowledge someone else's success by patting them on their back.

Why can't a woman be like that?
Why can't women behave in such a positive and commendable way?

Why does everyone do what the others do?
Why do people always follow the actions of their peers?

Can′t a woman learn to use her head?
Why can't a woman think sensibly and make decisions smartly?

Why do they do everything their mothers do?
Why do they blindly copy their mother's actions and thoughts?

Why don't they grow up like their father instead?
Why don't they mature like their fathers and learn to take responsibility?

Why can′t a woman take after a man?
Why can't they adopt good qualities that men possess?

Men are so pleasant, so easy to please
Males are enjoyable company and do not have many demands.

Whenever you're with them, you′re always at ease
In their company, one can always be relaxed and free from worry.

Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
Would you feel hurt if I didn't talk to you for a few hours?

Of course not!
No, I would not be upset in that situation.

Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
Would you be angry if I had a couple of drinks?

Nonsense!
No, that would not anger me.

Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
Would it hurt you if I never gave you flowers?

Never!
No, that would not hurt me.

Well, why can't a woman be like you?
Why can't women possess similar rationality and emotional stability as you?

One man in a million may shout a bit
Only an occasional male may become loud and obnoxious.

Now and then, there′s one with slight defects
Occasionally, a man may have minor flaws in his character.

One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit
It's possible that you may question the honesty of one such individual.

But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Overall, males are exceptional creatures.

Why can′t a woman behave like a man?
Why can't women act like men?

Men are so friendly, good-natured and kind
Males tend to be amiable and mild-mannered.

A better companion you never will find
You can never find a more suitable partner in life than a man.

If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
If I got delayed and arrived hours after dinner time, would you yell at me?

Of course not!
No, I would never shout.

If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
If I unintentionally forgot your irrelevant birthday, would you create a ruckus?

Nonsense!
No, I wouldn't make a fuss about that.

Would you complain if I took out another fellow?!
Would you grumble if I went out with another man?

Never!
No, it wouldn't bother me at all.

Well, why can't a woman be like us?!
For what reason can't women emulate men's traits and characteristics?

Mrs. Pearce, you′re a woman...
Mrs. Pearce, you belong to the female gender.

Why can't a woman be more like a man?
What is the cause of women's inability to behave like men?

Men are so decent, such regular chaps
Males behave in a respectable and standard manner.

Ready to help you through any mishaps
They are always ready to assist you in any crises or troubles.

Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum
They are prepared to cheer you up when you are feeling low.

Why can′t a woman be a chum?
Why can't women also be good companions?

Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is the act of thinking a trait that women usually don't possess?

Why is logic never even tried?
Why do women not even attempt to use logic and good judgement?

Straightening up their hair is all they ever do
The only work they do is grooming their hair and nothing more.

Why don't they straighten up the mess that′s inside?
Why don't they work on correcting the disorder of their inward self?

If I was a woman who′d been to a ball,
If I were a woman who had attended a ball,

Been hailed as a princess by one and by all
Being admired and loved by all like a royalty.

Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
Would I begin crying uncontrollably like a bathtub that overflows?

And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
And act irrationally or insensibly as though I belonged in a treehouse?

Would I run off and never tell me where I′m going?
Would I impulsively leave and hide my destination from myself?

Why can′t a woman be like me?
Why can't women obtain my level of self-control and sensible behavior?