Why Can't the English
Rex Harrison and Robert Coote Lyrics

Henry Look at her, a prisoner of the gutter,
Henry draws attention to Eliza's social status, belittling her by noting that she lives in poverty and is figuratively trapped in societal squalor.

Condemned by every syllable she ever uttered.
Henry asserts that Eliza's speech is so bad that every single word she has ever spoken is a condemnation of her character and intelligence.

By law she should be taken out and hung,
Henry sarcastically suggests that Eliza should be executed for her language skills.

For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue.
He emphasizes that Eliza's speech is so terrible that it constitutes an assault on the English language itself.

Eliza Aaoooww! Henry imitating her Aaoooww!
Eliza makes an unpleasant noise, which Henry distastefully mimics.

Heaven's! What a noise!
Henry responds to Eliza's sounds with exasperation and exaggerated disgust.

This is what the British population,
Henry explains that this kind of speech is common among the general British populace.

Calls an elementary education. Pickering Oh,
Henry's colleague, Pickering, disagrees and suggests that Henry's example is not representative of a general elementary education.

Counsel, I think you picked a poor example. Henry Did I?
Pickering questions Henry's example of Eliza's speech, to which Henry responds rhetorically.

Hear them down in Soho square, Dropping "h's" everywhere.
Henry notes that people on the streets of Soho drop the 'h' sound in words, which is considered non-standard in British English.

Speaking English anyway they like.
He points out that they speak English in a way that they find pleasing regardless of how the language is meant to be spoken.

You sir, did you go to school? Man Wadaya tike me for, a fool?
Henry questions a man's education, to which the man responds by questioning Henry's intelligence, indicating a lack of concern for proper language usage.

Henry No one taught him 'take' instead of 'tike!
Henry points out the man's poor pronunciation of the word 'take.'

Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?
Henry expresses frustration that British children are not taught to speak English properly.

This verbal class distinction, by now, Should be antique.
Henry argues that class distinctions based on language use should be outdated by now.

If you spoke as she does, sir, Instead of the way you do, Why, you might be selling flowers, too!
He argues that speech has a strong correlation with social status and that speaking improperly could lead to a lower socio-economic status.

Hear a Yorkshireman, or worse, Hear a Cornishman converse, I'd rather hear a choir singing flat.
Henry dislikes the sound of regional accents within England.

Chickens cackling in a barn Just like this one!
He likens the sound of some English accents to annoying animal noises.

Eliza Garn! Henry I ask you, sir, what sort of word is that?
Henry mocks Eliza's use of the word 'Garn.'

It's "Aoooow" and "Garn" that keep her in her place. Not her wretched clothes and dirty face.
He points out that Eliza's speech is a factor in her social status.

The moment he talks he makes some other Englishman despise him.
Henry emphasizes that the way an Englishman speaks can lead to scorn and judgment from other Englishmen.

One common language I'm afraid we'll never get.
He anticipates that a universally accepted form of language will never be achieved.

Oh, why can't the English learn to set A good example to people whose English is painful to your ears?
Henry questions why the English refuse to set a good example for others who struggle with the language.

The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.
He points out that even some other English-speaking populations struggle with the language.

There even are places where English completely Disappears. In America, they haven't used it for years!
Henry is astonished by some areas outside of the UK completely rejecting the use of English.

Norwegians learn Norwegian; the Greeks have taught their Greek.
He highlights the fact that other groups around the world teach their languages well.

In France every Frenchman knows His language fro "A" to "Zed"
He suggests that the French have a strong command of their language.

The French never care what they do, actually, As long as they pronounce in properly.
He suggests that the French have a good attitude towards language as they prioritize pronunciation over content.

Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning.
Henry comments on how easily some groups of people learn their language.

And Hebrews learn it backwards, Which is absolutely frightening.
He expresses amazement at Hebrew language learners being able to learn and read right to left.

But use proper English you're regarded as a freak.
He highlights the negative attitude English speakers have towards those who speak properly.

Why can't the English, Why can't the English learn to speak?
Henry reiterates his question, expressing his frustration at the lack of proper language teaching in England.