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Mr. Stupid
Richard Thompson Lyrics

If I say what's on my mind, dear
The judge will slap me down
You've got me in the corner
And it's only the second round
So I'll keep my mouth shut, darling
I'll be quiet as a lamb
And I'll act just as dumb, dear
As you really think I am

I'll shake your hand like a 'Rang Utan

Be as goofy as a clown
Clear the streets and book your seats
Mr. Stupid's Back In Town
Have you seen me shoot
right through that hoop
It's a trick of great renown
Bring the crowd and laugh out loud
Mr. Stupid's back in town

When your friends point out
you're stuck with
A Neanderthal for an ex
Don't fret about it, darling
I still sign my name on cheques
I can grunt my way through questions
I can scratch myself and howl
I can numb you with my dumbness
I can lay it on with a trowel

On your 37th birthday
When he handed you that mink
Did you still feel like a victim
With your elbows in the sink
But I've said too much already
Now I think I'll step aside
'Cos my alter ego's ready
For any questions on your mind

Contributed by Eli P. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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Richard Thompson OBE (born 3 April 1949, Notting Hill, London) is a British singer/songwriter and guitarist. Highly regarded for his guitar techniques, Thompson was awarded the Orville H. Gibson award for best acoustic guitar player in 1991. Similarly, his songwriting has earned him an Ivor Novello Award and, in 2006, a lifetime achievement award from BBC Radio. Thompson made his debut as a recording artist as a member of Fairport Convention in September 1967. Read Full BioRichard Thompson OBE (born 3 April 1949, Notting Hill, London) is a British singer/songwriter and guitarist. Highly regarded for his guitar techniques, Thompson was awarded the Orville H. Gibson award for best acoustic guitar player in 1991. Similarly, his songwriting has earned him an Ivor Novello Award and, in 2006, a lifetime achievement award from BBC Radio. Thompson made his debut as a recording artist as a member of Fairport Convention in September 1967. He left the group in 1971 and began recording with his wife as Richard & Linda Thompson, before their marriage dissolved in 1983. Since then, Thompson has maintained a critically-acclaimed solo career.

He continues to write and record new material and performs live frequently throughout Canada, the United States, Europe and Australia.

Thompson was appointed Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE) in the 2011 New Year Honours for services to music. On 5 July 2011, the degree of Doctor of Philosophy honoris causa was conferred on Thompson by the University of Aberdeen, in a ceremony at the University's Elphinstone Hall.