After
Riverside Lyrics


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I can't take anymore
I can't breathe
I'm sick of this goddamn darkness,
Sick of sadness and tears I throw it all up every single day
Together with last night's dinner

I have lost myself completely
I have convinced myself I am someone else

For God's sake,
I need to be real
I need touch
I need people

I have to turn my life around





But I will still be myself, won't I?

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Riverside's song "After" delve into themes of intense emotional turmoil and the need for connection and authenticity in life. The opening lines of "I can't take anymore, I can't breathe" immediately paint a picture of somebody who feels overwhelmed and trapped by their situation. The repetition of "sick of" also emphasizes the depth of their frustration and the sense of being stuck in a rut.


The imagery of throwing up last night's dinner is particularly powerful, as it suggests a physical manifestation of the emotional turmoil that the singer is experiencing. It's clear that they are at a breaking point and are desperate for a way out.


The following lines about losing oneself and convincing oneself to be someone else tap into a common theme in mental health struggles: the feeling of disconnect between one's true identity and the person that they are presenting to the world. This is a particularly painful experience, as it can create feelings of alienation and loneliness.


The final lines express a desire for change and a fear of losing oneself in the process. The question "But I will still be myself, won't I?" highlights the difficulty of trying to change one's life while maintaining a sense of identity and self.


Overall, "After" is a complex and emotionally charged exploration of the struggle for authenticity and connection in the face of intense emotional pain.


Line by Line Meaning

I can't take anymore
I am overwhelmed and unable to handle any more hardship or pain


I can't breathe
I feel suffocated and trapped, both physically and emotionally


I'm sick of this goddamn darkness,
I am tired and fed up with feeling stuck in a negative and depressing state of mind


Sick of sadness and tears
I am exhausted from constantly experiencing and expressing emotions of sorrow and grief


I throw it all up every single day
I release my emotional pain through physical purging, despite the physical consequences


Together with last night's dinner
I vomit both my emotional weight and physical sustenance from the previous night


I have lost myself completely
I feel like I have completely lost my sense of self and identity


I have convinced myself I am someone else
I have tried to change myself drastically in order to escape my problems, to the point where I no longer recognize myself


For God's sake,
I plead with a higher power for help, as a last resort


I need to be real
I desire to be truthful and genuine with myself and others


I need touch
I crave human contact, comfort, and affection


I need people
I am aware that I cannot overcome my struggles alone and need support from those around me


I have to turn my life around
I recognize the need for significant change in my life in order to improve my mental and emotional wellbeing


But I will still be myself, won't I?
I question if it's possible to change for the better without losing my sense of self and individuality




Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., RESERVOIR MEDIA MANAGEMENT INC
Written by: Y, MICHAEL WOODROW SR. JACKSON

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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