99 Words for Boobs
Robert Lund Lyrics

Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
Many different shapes and sizes of breasts

Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
Breasts that jiggle or bounce, like the character Elmer Fudd and the statue of Buddha

Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
Terms that suggest breasts can be large, like they stretch a sweater or protect a lung

Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
Breasts that are either large, like a beach umbrella, or cold, like a frost detector

Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
Terms that suggest men are horny towards women and their appearance like scooby snacks and so-called lucky snake eyes dice.

Jell-o molds and high-beam lights
Breasts that are soft like Jell-o molds or nipples that can sometimes poke through a shirt like high-beam lights

Every day I probably use
The number of words used to describe breasts is high and probably used daily.

99 words for boobs
The artist has come up with 99 words to describe breasts

Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys
Names or things that suggest round, plump breasts

Double lattes, Ode to Joys
Terms that suggest size and pleasure or enjoyment

Hooters, shooters, physics tutors
Terms that suggest large, circular shape or support

Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters
Names or terms that suggest symmetry, like the Bobbsey Twins, or lack of hair or curves, like a bald commuter

Double-WMD's, MRE's and PFD's
Descriptions that suggest impressive size, power or survival instincts

Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes
Names or things that suggest contrasting shapes and sizes

Gerber servers, holy grails
Names or terms that suggest the value or importance of breasts

Whoopee cushions, humpback whales
Humorous references to size, like a whoopee cushion or the large sea animal, a humpback whale

Flying saucers, traffic stoppers
Names or terms that suggest the shape or the impact of breasts

Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers
References to large-sized drinks or food, but with a humorous twist

Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos
References to softness or whiteness of breasts, like a pillow or billowing fabric, plus the name of the author Don DeLillo

Soft-serve cones and armadillos
References to the shape or curves of breasts, like a soft-serve ice cream cone or the shell of an armadillo

Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes
References to the shape or shine of breasts, like a pimped-out hubcap on a car or an inner tube floating in water

Midget earmuffs, warming globes
Names or terms that suggest round, small, or cute things

Strobes and probes and frontal lobes
References to science or technology, like a strobe light, a probe on a spaceship, and the part of the brain responsible for awareness

Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers
Terms that suggest bouncing, jiggling, or attention-grabbing breasts

Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers
References to color and innocence, like the blue Smurfs and the snack food, Screaming Yellow Zonkers

Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs
References to size or color, like a big rubber tire and a character's nickname

Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs
References to fairy tales or cartoon characters, like the Big Bad Wolf and Porky Pig

Jogging partners, saline noobs
References to the impact of exercise on breasts and the use of saline implants to enhance size

Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers
References to sports or nature, like a basketball shot and the rabbit Bambi's large, round feet

Rubber baby buggy bumpers
An actual rubber part on strollers that are referred to as fitting to the shape of breasts

Rutabagas, Chi Omegas
References to size or shape, like root vegetables and a sorority organization

Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas
References to performers or entertainers and the often large size and fascinating curves of their costumes

Your claims I'm breast-obsessed are true
The artist acknowledges that they have an obsession or fascination with breasts

We're quite a pair 'cause I'm a boob too
The artist self-identifies as being silly or foolish, and therefore a 'boob', like the other 'boobs' who are infatuated with breasts