In 1999, Rocky Votolato branched out from his work with Waxwing, having written a handful of songs which did not really fit in with their more aggressive, fast tempo syle. Along the way he has toured with the likes of Damien Jurado, Small Brown Bike, The Get Up Kids, The New Amsterdams, Owen and The Casket Lottery, members of the latter having provided assistance as backing musicians on occasion. His studio albums have also been littered with appearances from some of Seattle's finest musicians (including players in the bands Red Stars Theory, Sharks Keep Moving, The Blood Brothers, Death Cab for Cutie, Pedro the Lion and Sub Pop solo artist Rosie Thomas). On the production side, Votolato has worked with Matt Bayles (Pearl Jam, Botch, Murder City Devils, Hayden), along with Chris Walla (of Death Cab for Cutie). It is a creative input which has helped see Rocky progress sylistically with every release, from his low key self-titled album released in 1999 - all pretty much recorded live, right through to his recent, alt-country, folk-esque offering, 'Makers'. A video was shot for the first track of Makers, "White Daisy Passing", a song which also appears on the soundtrack of the forthcoming Seattle indie feature film Cthulu.
Rocky also starred in the film 'The Edge of Quarrel', which he worked on with Dave Larson from Excursion Records. It also includes members of the Murder City Devils and Botch, and is about a gang war between straightedgers and punk rockers.
He is married with two children, and lives in Seattle.
Suicide Medicine
Rocky Votolato Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Sometimes an on-off switch would sure come in handy
A mind that's constantly cutting up
And dissecting
Looking for answers
Committing murders along the way
Is it the red wire or the blue wire
It just doesn't matter anymore
Or did it ever
Cause I could never control when the bomb would explode
Oh god I love you
I mean forever
I left my body behind to break the news
Looks like it's over
Please remember all of the things I never got a chance to say
Like you look smashing
In your fourth grade picture
The one that we hung by the door
In our house that was so beautiful
There in our little home
If this medication upsets your stomach
Take it with crackers bread or a small meal
We understand it won't do shit towards the cure
But if you buy this I promise
You're gonna like the way it makes you feel
Is it the red wire or the blue wire
Just pick one and cut it just doesn't matter anymore
Or did it ever
Cause I could never control when the bomb would explode
Oh god I love you
I mean forever
I left my body behind to break the news
Looks like it's over
Please remember all of the things I never got a chance to say
Like you look smashing
In your fourth grade picture
The one that we hung by the door
In our house that was so beautiful
There in our little home
The song "Suicide Medicine" by Rocky Votolato speaks about the struggles of mental illness and the constant battle inside one's own mind. The lyrics describe a brain that never stops ticking, a mind that is constantly analyzing and cutting things up, and causing harm in its pursuit of answers. The singer speaks about their inability to control their own thoughts and their feeling of being a ticking bomb that could explode at any moment.
The chorus of the song references a choice between a red wire and a blue wire, which could be a metaphor for the many options and decisions one faces when dealing with mental illness. The singer acknowledges that it may feel like their choices don't matter but professes their love for the people in their life and the beauty of their home. The last section of the song mentions medication that may not be a cure but could offer some relief, indicating the push-and-pull relationship many people have with medication and the hopelessness that comes with trying to find a solution for mental illness.
Overall, the song paints a visceral picture of how exhausting and frustrating it can feel to constantly battle against one's own mind, yet still cling to love and hope for the people and places that we cherish.
Line by Line Meaning
A brain that never stops ticking
A mind that is constantly working, thinking and analyzing non-stop.
Sometimes an on-off switch would sure come in handy
At times, one wishes to turn off their mind and take a break from overthinking.
A mind that's constantly cutting up
The mind that is critically analyzing various things in life and chopping them down in smaller details.
And dissecting
Analyzing things in detail, examining each and every part of them.
Looking for answers
Trying to find solutions to questions by analyzing them deeply.
Committing murders along the way
Killing ideas and thoughts that don't fit in with one's ideologies or lifestyle choices.
Is it the red wire or the blue wire
Questioning between two different options and trying to make the right choice.
Just pick one and cut
Making a choice by cutting off one of the options available.
It just doesn't matter anymore
Realizing that either option don't make any difference and don't bring any change.
Or did it ever
Questioning if it ever mattered or not.
Cause I could never control when the bomb would explode
Diving deep into the complexities of life, its problems, and its consequences that cannot be controlled or predicted.
Oh god I love you
Expressing deep love for someone or something.
I mean forever
Stating that this love is permanent and will last forever.
I left my body behind to break the news
Conveying the message of an event that has already happened to someone who wasn't present by imagining oneself in their place.
Looks like it's over
Implying that something or someone has come to an end.
Please remember all of the things I never got a chance to say
Asking someone to remember everything that was meant to be conveyed but couldn't be due to unforeseen circumstances such as death or a sudden break-up.
Like you look smashing in your fourth-grade picture
Complimenting someone on their looks or appearance.
The one that we hung by the door in our house that was so beautiful
Recalling memories of a good old beautiful home where someone once lived and hung pictures by the door.
There in our little home
Referring to a small, comfortable and happy home where someone once lived peacefully.
If this medication upsets your stomach
Referring to a medication that may have certain side effects like an upset stomach.
Take it with crackers bread or a small meal
Suggesting a way to mitigate the side effects of the medication by taking it with food.
We understand it won't do shit towards the cure
Acknowledging that the medication may not have a significant impact on the cure of the illness.
But if you buy this I promise you're gonna like the way it makes you feel
Encouraging someone to purchase the medication as it will make them feel better.
Lyrics © ROUGH TRADE PUBLISHING, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Rocky Votolato
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
ismall small
i am sure most of the people here would agree that "my suicide" is one of the best if not the best movie ever made
Jazzaye Ciara
One of the best movies I've ever seen. 100%
Itshaley
YESSSS
Zane J
Unrelated but woah you’re cute
The 18
Forward that to my Inbox please, I need the reference.
Yinnie DeDom
To be fair it made me question the value of my own life and now I think I need to be hospitalized
Nick Halbert
Me and my first girlfriend used to
Listen to this all the time when we were driving together. She passed away a year ago… I can’t stop listening to this and wishing I could just say something to her and maybe a hug… 🥺 ahhhh Lara farewell xx
Allison Hazel
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing better nowadays :)
killyerself
I haven't heard this album in nearly 8 years. this song really does transport me back to what I felt when I first heard it... time to rediscover rocky votolato
Zzyzx
I remember listening to this back in 2004. Your music kept me through so much, you will never know how much your tunes kept me through life. I love your music, even when you're old and grey, keep playing. Thank you.