The Fish Report With a Beat
Roger Waters Lyrics


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Jim: It's time now for the Radio KAOS sports fishing program so let's go now to studio B and our own Burton L. Wildebeest... Burton?

Burton:Oh! Ladies and gentleman, the triumphant return of the fish report with a beat. Featuring Paraquat Kelly and his fishing companion Cynthia Fox.

Cynthia Fox: Ooh, Sieman's grotto sperm bank paying lots of interest to large deposits, penalties for early withdrawals though, reports 93 heat seeking wool probers, 85 red rock hard rock cod, 56 man sized love mussels, 22 tantalizing trouser trout, 35 naughty bits, and 77 throbbing tube steak turbo.

Paraquat Kelly: Marina dildo, 12 Venice anglers, now for the fish. 16 how-do-you-do-das, 7 rectal lobotomy cod, your shovel nose sturgeon, 2 bone eater, a wool labur, a gherkin jerger, your beef puppet, a vermin baj snapper, and my favorite; the rump ranger.
Cynthia Fox: Oh my oh my. Port San Louie home of those ever popular whale sized boners reports 999 fine whammin' jammin salmon, 42 perverted perch, 15 throat oysters, 12 air biscuits, 65 lusty lump suckers, 33 chastity belt smelts, a school of grunt clusters, and one very large variable speed vibrating halibut plug.

Paraquat Kelly: Mmmmm, grunt clusters, my favorite. And that'll do it for this edition of the fish report with a beat

(several / all): in stereo.

Jingle: K A O S radio





Jim: We think of it as main street, but to the rest of the country it's Sunset Strip. You're listening to KAOS in Los Angeles

Overall Meaning

The Fish Report with a Beat is a fictitious radio show in Roger Waters's 1987 album, Radio K.A.O.S. Lyrically, the song is a parody of a sports fishing report, delivered in a radio show-style format by Cynthia Fox and Paraquat Kelly. Interestingly, Cynthia Fox was not a fictional character, but a real radio DJ who worked in Los Angeles during the 1980s.


The lyrics of the song contain several sexually suggestive puns and innuendos. For instance, the line "Sieman's grotto sperm bank paying lots of interest to large deposits, penalties for early withdrawals though" is a play on words that conflates a savings account with a sperm bank, while the line "throbbing tube steak turbo" is a slang term for a large penis.


The song's overall theme is a commentary on the cultural degradation of broadcasting, as well as the commodification of sex and sexuality in popular culture. The lyrics suggest that even something as seemingly innocuous as a fishing report can be turned into a crass and vulgar display.


Overall, The Fish Report with a Beat is a satirical take on the excesses and absurdities of American culture in the 1980s. By using humor and parody, Waters critiques the way that commercialism and consumerism have infiltrated even the most mundane aspects of life.


Line by Line Meaning

Jim: It's time now for the Radio KAOS sports fishing program so let's go now to studio B and our own Burton L. Wildebeest... Burton?
The Radio KAOS sports fishing program is about to begin and we will now hear from Burton L. Wildebeest in studio B to kick off the show.


Burton:Oh! Ladies and gentleman, the triumphant return of the fish report with a beat. Featuring Paraquat Kelly and his fishing companion Cynthia Fox.
The fish report with a beat is back and will be hosted by Paraquat Kelly and Cynthia Fox, who will share the latest fishing news and updates.


Cynthia Fox: Ooh, Sieman's grotto sperm bank paying lots of interest to large deposits, penalties for early withdrawals though, reports 93 heat seeking wool probers, 85 red rock hard rock cod, 56 man sized love mussels, 22 tantalizing trouser trout, 35 naughty bits, and 77 throbbing tube steak turbo.
Sieman's grotto sperm bank is paying high interest for those depositing large amounts, but there are penalties for early withdrawals. The report includes sightings of 93 heat seeking wool probers, 85 red rock hard rock cod, 56 man sized love mussels, 22 tantalizing trouser trout, 35 naughty bits, and 77 throbbing tube steak turbo.


Paraquat Kelly: Marina dildo, 12 Venice anglers, now for the fish. 16 how-do-you-do-das, 7 rectal lobotomy cod, your shovel nose sturgeon, 2 bone eater, a wool labur, a gherkin jerger, your beef puppet, a vermin baj snapper, and my favorite; the rump ranger.
The Marina dildo and sightings of 12 Venice anglers are mentioned before Paraquat Kelly shares the latest fish news. This includes the spotting of 16 how-do-you-do-das, 7 rectal lobotomy cod, a shovel nose sturgeon, 2 bone eaters, a wool labur, a gherkin jerger, a beef puppet, a vermin baj snapper, and his personal favorite, the rump ranger.


Cynthia Fox: Oh my oh my. Port San Louie home of those ever popular whale sized boners reports 999 fine whammin' jammin salmon, 42 perverted perch, 15 throat oysters, 12 air biscuits, 65 lusty lump suckers, 33 chastity belt smelts, a school of grunt clusters, and one very large variable speed vibrating halibut plug.
Port San Louie is known for its whale sized boners and the latest report includes 999 fine whammin' jammin salmon, 42 perverted perch, 15 throat oysters, 12 air biscuits, 65 lusty lump suckers, 33 chastity belt smelts, a school of grunt clusters, and a very large variable speed vibrating halibut plug.


Paraquat Kelly: Mmmmm, grunt clusters, my favorite. And that'll do it for this edition of the fish report with a beat.
Paraquat Kelly mentions how much he enjoys grunt clusters before concluding this edition of the fish report with a beat.


(several / all): in stereo.
The show is aired in stereo, as mentioned by several/all the hosts.


Jingle: K A O S radio
The KAOS radio jingle is played during the show.


Jim: We think of it as main street, but to the rest of the country it's Sunset Strip. You're listening to KAOS in Los Angeles
The show is being broadcasted by KAOS radio in Los Angeles, which is known as Main street to the locals, but Sunset Strip to the rest of the country.




Contributed by Austin K. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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