Friday the 13th
Royal Crown Revue Lyrics

It was a fine left coast morning
The day began well for the singer

And I found myself planted outside
The singer was waiting outside

The Cap 'N' Cork
The place the singer was waiting outside of

Tipping back the hops
The artist was drinking beer

In order to calm my dancing hands
The artist was nervous and needed a way to relax

You see I usually don't play
The singer was not accustomed to waiting

The tied-up watchdog routine
The singer was keeping watch, but not very attentively

Looking up and down the street
The artist was checking to see if someone was coming

But this is the corner
The artist was waiting for someone at that specific corner

Joey A., my car and I
The artist was supposed to meet Joey and his own car at that corner

Were supposed to meet
This was the plan all along

You see Joey The Amateur and I
The artist and Joey were together the night before

Were out clinkin' glasses last night
The two of them were drinking together

When I got three sheets to an ill wind
The singer got very drunk

Myself being in possession
The singer had something valuable

Of a fine Double 5 Lincoln convert
The artist had a nice car

Joey offered to skip me back to the crib
Joey offered to drive the artist home

I awoke to a barren driveway
When the singer woke up, his car was gone

And a neighbor started to chide
A neighbor started making fun of the singer

"Joey dumped you off,
The neighbor told the artist what happened

And he's got your ride!"
The neighbor told the artist that Joey had his car

Black cats, they don't bother me
The artist is not superstitious

I smile in bad company
The singer is comfortable around shady characters

And I'm cool as the day is long
The artist is not easily rattled

But takin' my car, daddy
Taking the singer's car was a step too far

That's dead wrong
The singer is very angry about his car being stolen

It was now 11:22
The time had progressed

And up scuffles Benny The Shoe
A man named Benny appeared

A real hot air merchant from way back
Benny talked a lot

I inquired about Joey A.
The singer asked Benny about Joey

And my superfine Lincoln
The singer was asking about his car

Then Mr. B.S. beat his gums
Benny kept talking

And testified to me,
Benny told the artist

"Joe's washing the short,
Joey was cleaning the car

Changing da oil
Joey was also changing the oil in the car

He'll be here by three."
Joey would be there in the afternoon

So the little hand hits three
Three o'clock had arrived

And who should appear
A person showed up

But a Cuban cat named Geronimo
The person who showed up was named Geronimo

An upstanding cat
Geronimo was a respectable person

In the textile business
Geronimo worked in the textile industry

He said, "Joey knocked over a racketman
Geronimo told the singer about Joey's criminal activity

And is laying low for a few,
Joey was hiding from the law

But in your trunk he left you some treasure
Joey left something for the artist in the car trunk

A pint of rye and a case of Slim Jim's
The items Joey left in the car trunk

For your masticating pleasure
The items were for the artist to enjoy

Now ten p.m. finds me
The time progressed to ten o'clock at night

Hot as a hophead's zippo
The artist was very angry

When Rosie appears
A woman named Rosie showed up

On her financially motivated
Rosie was a prostitute

Nightly exercise routine
Rosie was out working

I asked the whereabouts
The artist asked where Joey was

Of the horsepower thief in question
The artist was referring to Joey as a "horsepower thief"

And she shot me that amphetamine stare
Rosie gave the singer a look

And said, "Joey A.?
Rosie was surprised the singer didn't know where Joey was

I just got out of his Lincoln
Rosie had just been with Joey in the car

On Hollywood Way."
Rosie told the artist where she had been with Joey

I thought
The artist was thinking to himself

"Kill Joey A.!"
The singer was very angry with Joey

when the bar keep came out
The bartender came outside

To simmer my slow boil
The bartender was trying to calm the singer down

He said, "Joey A. just called on the blower,
The bartender had received a phone call from Joey

He said you better skip town,
Joey told the bartender to tell the singer to leave town

'Cause the cops got your ride.
The police had found the artist's car

You're wanted for solicitation,
The artist was in trouble with the law

Possession -- you owe him one,
Joey was angry with the singer about something

And here's the scather.
The bartender was finished relaying Joey's message

He said,
The bartender said

"And another thing cat,
The bartender had something else to say to the artist

Don't ask me for
The artist should not ask the bartender for anything

Goddamn favors!"
The bartender was very angry with the singer