Rufus wrote this song about his father, the singer Loudon Wainwright III, a… Read Full Bio ↴Rufus wrote this song about his father, the singer Loudon Wainwright III, after a row they had over dinner.

In 1976, when Rufus was just 3 years old, his parents split. His mother, the singer Kate McGarrigle, took Rufus and his younger sister Martha and moved them Bedford, New York to Montreal in a U-Haul van, which Rufus sings about in the line, "In the drifting white snow you left me."

Rufus' father says he wasn't offended by this song - he was actually proud of his son as he considered it some of his best work. The two have a complicated relationship which is amplified by their profession: They write songs about each other that serve as a strange form of family therapy. In 2012, Rufus appeared on a song with Loudon called "The Days That We Die," where they seem to come to terms with each other, admitting that neither man will ever change.

Rufus Wainwright explained to The Guardian in 2005 why he penned this blow-by-blow report of a confrontation with his father, Loudon Wainwright III. Rufus had recently released his debut album and had turned cocky, which he used as a coping mechanism to make it in the music industry. He and Loudon had done a photo shoot and interview for Rolling Stone together in Shelter Island, New York. "I told him he must be really happy that I got him back in that magazine after all these years," Rufus recalled. "That sort of kicked things off. Later in the evening he threatened to kill me. So I went home and wrote 'Dinner At Eight' as a vindictive retort to his threat."
Rufus and his dad didn't speak for a long time after the incident.

In a 2020 Songfacts interview with Wainwright, he explained how this song changed meaning for him over the years. "It was very much intended as a shot over the bow to my father," he said. "Kind of a warning, and in an aggressive mood. But the more I sing it and the older I get - and myself being a father now, too - I realize it's just a complete cry for love, and for coming together and coming to terms with the world. So, that song kind of went from an aggressive song to a very sensitive and loving song."
Rufus' mother, Kate McGarrigle, played the accordion on this song.

Dinner At Eight
Rufus Wainwright Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

No matter how strong
I'm going to take you down with one little stone
I'm going to break you down and see what you're worth
What you're really worth to me

Dinner at eight was okay before the toasts full of gleams
It was great until those old magazines
Got us started up again

Actually it was probably me again
But why is it so
That I've always been the one who must go
That I've always been the one told to flee
When in fact you were the one
Long ago, actually in the drifting white snow
Who left me?

So put up your fists and I'll put up mine
No running away from the scene of the crime
God's chosen a place
Somewhere near the end of the world
Somewhere near the end of our lives
But till then no daddy don't be surprised
If I want to see the tears in your eyes
Then I know it had to be

Long ago, actually in the drifting white snow
You loved me

Overall Meaning

The first two lines of the song "No matter how strong, I'm going to take you down with one little stone" suggests that the singer is seeking some form of revenge. They seem to be determined and confident that they will be able to break down their target's persona and reveal their true worth. The use of the word "stone" suggests that the singer's method of attack may be harsh and unforgiving, something that can cause hard damage.

The next stanza describes a dinner event that is disrupted by the emergence of old magazines. This event seems to have started as a pleasant one, with toasts to celebrate, but the conversation takes a different turn upon the appearance of these old magazines. The singer seems to be responsible for the turn of events, but questions why they are always the one being asked to leave, despite being the one who was left behind long ago in the snow. The final stanza suggests that there is still a desire for some sort of resolution, with the lines "Put up your fists and I'll put up mine/No running away from the scene of the crime". Here the singer is suggesting that they and their target should confront each other head-on and face the consequences of their actions. The final line "Long ago, actually in the drifting white snow/You loved me" suggests that despite all the turmoil and hurt feelings, the singer still believes that there was love between them at some point, perhaps a reason why they are determined to resolve things.

Line by Line Meaning

No matter how strong
No matter how tough you think you are

I'm going to take you down with one little stone
I will bring you down with one small action

I'm going to break you down and see what you're worth
I will break you to test your true worth

What you're really worth to me
I want to know what you truly mean to me

Dinner at eight was okay before the toasts full of gleams
We were having a good time at dinner till the toasts started

It was great until those old magazines
It was enjoyable until the old magazines sparked our argument

Got us started up again
Restarted our disagreement

Actually it was probably me again
It was most likely my fault

But why is it so
I wonder why this always happens

That I've always been the one who must go
Why am I always the one who has to leave?

That I've always been the one told to flee
I'm always the one told to run away