Disease
Sarah Dupuis Lyrics
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I would try to make them better with you
Maybe we could fix this
If you understood what I had been through
It seems it always comes down to this:
You fall apart, then you feel remiss
Maybe you'll say I hurt you,
But I hurt me, too, and you don't care
You don't deserve it, it isn't fair.
Oh, yeah, I know that I'm a disesase,
And I just can't infect you with me
And so I'll lie on my bedroom floor
And trace your name in the carpet thread
Maybe you shouldn't talk to me anymore
I figured it out when you said that -
Maybe I'll walk out on this
I'll turn my back on this or I'll turn away
If you've got someone new on your mind,
It's not me this time. I had my day.
And maybe I'll turn down all the lights
And try to forget your face tonight.
And so I'll tell you it's all my fault
And I will displace the blame instead
Maybe you shouldn't talk to me anymore
I figured it out when you said that -
You would love nothing more than to prove me right
And since we spent that time on the phone,
I've stopped sleeping at night
And you'll say I have the greenest eyes you've ever seen
And that if you had one hundred years
You'd never ever understand me
The song "Disease" by Sarah Dupuis is a depiction of a toxic relationship where the singer blames herself for the failings of the relationship. She wishes things could be better, but she knows that they cannot be fixed because her partner does not understand what she's going through. The lyrics show the self-blame she feels for the relationship ending, but also the awareness that her partner has hurt her as well. She realizes that she is a disease and cannot infect her partner with her issues anymore. The singer traces her partner's name on the floor and eventually admits that the relationship's failure was her fault, not his. She displaces the blame to herself instead of letting her partner take it.
The lyrics reflect the pain and self-doubt that comes from a relationship ending. At first, the singer seems to want to fix things, but as the song progresses, she realizes that they cannot be fixed. She struggles with letting go of her partner and accepting that it is over. The lyrics also depict the pain of feeling like the relationship was one-sided, where the partner did not understand her pain and hurt her as well. Overall, the song reflects the complex emotions that exist in a toxic relationship and the struggle to move on afterward.
Line by Line Meaning
If I could try to make things better,
I wish I could fix our problems.
I would try to make them better with you
I want to work on our problems together.
Maybe we could fix this
I am hopeful we can resolve our issues.
If you understood what I had been through
I need you to empathize with me.
It seems it always comes down to this:
Our problems are persistent and unchanging.
You fall apart, then you feel remiss
Our relationship falls apart and we both feel guilty.
Maybe you'll say I hurt you,
You may blame me for hurting you.
But I hurt me, too, and you don't care
I also suffer, but you are indifferent to my pain.
And I just can't put you through this.
I don't want to cause you more harm.
You don't deserve it, it isn't fair.
It's not fair for you to suffer through this.
Oh, yeah, I know that I'm a disease,
I recognize that my emotional issues are harmful to you.
And I just can't infect you with me
I don't want to drag you down with me.
And so I'll lie on my bedroom floor
I'm defeated and sad.
And trace your name in the carpet thread
I'm reminiscing about our relationship.
Maybe you shouldn't talk to me anymore
Our relationship is toxic.
I figured it out when you said that -
Your comment confirmed my suspicions.
Maybe I'll walk out on this
I'm considering ending our relationship.
I'll turn my back on this or I'll turn away
I'll try to move on.
If you've got someone new on your mind,
If you're interested in someone else,
It's not me this time. I had my day.
I accept that our relationship is over.
And maybe I'll turn down all the lights
I'll try to forget you.
And try to forget your face tonight.
I'm trying to move on from you.
And so I'll tell you it's all my fault
I'll take the blame for our problems.
And I will displace the blame instead
I'll take the blame to spare you.
You would love nothing more than to prove me right
You're happy to confirm that I'm to blame.
And since we spent that time on the phone,
Our conversation made things worse.
I've stopped sleeping at night
I'm losing sleep over our problems.
And you'll say I have the greenest eyes you've ever seen
You still find me attractive.
And that if you had one hundred years
You wish you had more time with me.
You'd never ever understand me
You don't truly know me.
Contributed by Charlotte H. Suggest a correction in the comments below.