After their appearance in diverse compilations published in the North American market and the auto-edition of "Pride", E.P. of 1998, Self-Delusion has been taken in hand by the producer Frans Beltran (aka-Iberian Spleen and involved also in the production of Spanish bands as diverse as Magnatiz, Freak XXI, Klockwork or Shuga Whuga) to give form to their first album ("Happiness hurts me").
This recording shows the eclecticism of Self-Delusion creating songs on varied electronic structures, which take them from the classic tecnopop to trip-hop, techno-rock or electro. Their sound betrays them as big followers of the music of 80s; their members are indeed fans of very varied bands that go from Depeche Mode to The Smiths, from The Cure to Portishead, from Aviador Dro to Lamb or from Fangoria to Covenant.
Self-Delusion has been a supporting act for bands such as Wolfsheim and De/Vision, VNV Nation and Apoptygma Berzerk.
With "Happiness hurts", Self-Delusion makes a move to find a place in the electronic national scene as they have obtained it, occasionally, in the international one, where they have managed to edit and to receive prizes as the fourth position in the Clavia MP3 Competition (contest organized by the well known synths manufacturer Clavia -nordlead-) thanks their song "Christine", included in "Happiness hurts me".
Nowadays they're working in their second album, called "Not for Resale" (produced by Self-Delusion with the collaboration of Pina -from Fire).
Pride
Self Delusion Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
living in Heaven it's so hard
although I'd like to hide my wings
no disguise fits well
let me bleed close to you
give me the fucking tools to hate
forget I have been living here
I learned that doubt is not a sin
it's only a way to grow up
so, please guide me towards the Hell
towards my twin soul
let me bleed close to you
give me the fucking tools to hate
hold me now into your arms
or steal my heart
help me, let me be like you
I'd like to know which is my fate
only you know what to do
with a life that never ends
The song "Pride" by Self Delusion speaks about a character who is "living in Heaven" but finds the boredom quite unbearable. The character wishes to cast aside the angelic facade and embrace the darker, more exciting side of themselves. However, they seem to be struggling with their true identity and are unsure of the direction they should take. The opening lines suggest that life is difficult even in heaven, and there is a sense of disconnection with the surroundings. The character wishes to be closer to someone - anyone - even if it means bleeding near them. This person is seeking tools to hate, and ironically trying to escape the utopia that is heaven. The lyrics are quite powerful as they convey a sense of frustration, longing, and self-awareness.
As the song progresses, the character's growth and maturity mirror their willingness to accept their doubts, and this character accepts that one's fate cannot always be predetermined. The chorus repeats, "let me bleed close to you, give me the fucking tools to hate," indicating that the character is willing to feel raw emotions even if it means encountering pain. They are willing to accept their fate with open arms, irrespective of how painful the journey may be. The overall mood of the song is quite melancholic, and it leaves a sense of mystery open to the listener.
Line by Line Meaning
you know I've never been so bored
Living in Heaven is mundane and lacks excitement
living in Heaven it's so hard
The perfect existence of Heaven is challenging to maintain
although I'd like to hide my wings
I desire to suppress my divine nature
no disguise fits well
Pretending to be someone I'm not is ineffective
let me bleed close to you
Allow me to be vulnerable around you
give me the fucking tools to hate
Assist me in processing negative emotions
forget I have been living here
Ignore my privileged existence in Heaven
let me fall again
Allow me to experience failure and growth
I learned that doubt is not a sin
Questioning is not inherently bad
it's only a way to grow up
Doubt aids in personal development
so, please guide me towards the Hell
Encourage me to experience the challenges of life
towards my twin soul
To connect me with someone who truly understands me
hold me now into your arms
Provide comfort and support
or steal my heart
Take my emotions and guide me towards growth
help me, let me be like you
Assist me in becoming a better version of myself
I'd like to know which is my fate
Yearning for a sense of direction and purpose
only you know what to do
Seeking guidance and mentorship
with a life that never ends
Struggling with the concept of immortality
Contributed by Jacob E. Suggest a correction in the comments below.