Blow My High
Sevin Lyrics

Man. be healed
Let me take a moment to address my pain and emotional turmoil.

I'm on one right now
I am currently struggling with addiction.

I still haven't talked to you
I have not yet reached out to God for help.

Now I'm on another
But I am trying to move on to something healthier.

Ya'am saying
Do you understand what I am saying?

I hope it makes sense though
I hope that my words and feelings are clear.

Yeah I sit here with this beer and this drink
I am using alcohol to try to relieve my pain.

While I think and these tears many pour
As I reflect on my life, I feel sad and emotional.

I can't deal anymore
I am overwhelmed and cannot cope with my problems alone.

Mini four on my hip plenty stored in the clip
I have a gun on me and am ready to use it if necessary.

I'm so tortured and sick
I am in a lot of emotional pain and need help.

Feel like torching a stick
I feel like destroying something and letting out my pain.

Getting high just to fly
I use drugs to escape from my reality.

Far away take a trip into space cuz I can't
I wish I could be far away from my problems.

Get a grip or feel safe
I can't seem to control my thoughts and emotions.

Something's wrong or something strong keeps on rising inside
I sense that something is not right with myself.

It's a beast and it eats me alive from inside
I feel like my pain is consuming and destroying me.

And his eyes are so cold and it cries for my soul
I feel like I am trapped and being pulled down by my pain.

I reply don't know why I am not in control
I am aware that I am not in control of my emotions.

Just a shell of myself
I feel like I am not truly myself but just a facade.

I keep telling myself I'm okay but no way
Even though I try to be okay, deep down, I am not.

If i was I'd go pray and be healed
If I were okay, I would turn to God for help and healing.

But this feeling is killing me softly
My pain is slowly and painfully destroying me.

I'm awfully exhausted I lost it
I am tired and feeling hopeless.

I think that I'm lost in this dream
I feel like my life is a nightmare that I can't escape from.

I should talk to a shrink
I need to seek help from a therapist.

Cuz I feel like my life has been tossed in the sink c'mon
My life feels like it is being flushed down the drain.

The road is dark and my feet's on the throttle
I am traveling down a dangerous path and can't stop myself.

Feeding my sorrow with each swallow uh oh
I am numbing my pain with drugs and alcohol.

But I'm hurting and I don't know why
My pain is overwhelming and I am struggling to understand it.

Feel free to blow my high
I am open to other people and God taking control and helping me.

And I sink deeper in till I can't sleep or grin
My pain is getting worse and it is affecting my ability to function.

And I can't even swim but the tide keeps on rising
I am drowning in my pain and can't find a way out.

Horizons are bleak for the guy
My future looks grim and I feel hopeless.

They mistreat him deceive him they cheat and they lie
I have been mistreated, deceived, and lied to by others.

Sink their teeth in and leave him
People take advantage of me and leave me in pain.

These leeches are bleeding him dry
People who drain me emotionally and use me for their own benefit are causing me pain.

But he gives and he shares and he lives like he cares
Even though I am hurting, I still try to help and care for others.

But he lives in despair so he is in the lair
Despite my efforts to be helpful, I am still consumed by sadness and despair.

Of depression that lessons his will and I'm guessing
My depression is making it hard to keep going and live a fulfilling life.

It will be the reason this evening he's leaving this planet
My pain is causing me to consider ending my own life.

He is stranded on the Titanic and manically depressed
I feel like my life is so bad and hopeless it's like being on the sinking Titanic.

And so yes he needs help reaching out thinking bout
I know I need help and I am considering how to get it.

Bringing death to himself
I am considering ending my own life.

But he questions himself
Despite my pain, I am still trying to understand and overcome it.

I've been off since a child
I have had this pain and struggle for a long time.

Feeling lost feeling awfully nauseous and foul
I feel lost and sick because of my pain and struggles.

This is awkward but Lord can we talk for awhile
I am reaching out to God for help, even though it feels awkward.

I can't front I am drunk am I not still Your child
I am admitting to God that I am drunk and broken, but I still seek His help and love.

Yeah yeah
A casual interjection to emphasize the severity of the situation.

Lord my mood's so disgusting
I feel ashamed of my pain and negative emotions.

This suffering's just an excuse to keep using
I am trying to justify my drug use as a way of coping with my pain.

Abusing these substances
I am using drugs to numb the pain, but it's a harmful coping mechanism.

Subsequently I'd give up being free
I am sacrificing my freedom and happiness for the temporary relief that drugs provide.

What was valuable now is worth nothing to me
My life and happiness were valuable, but I have lost sight of that and don't care anymore.

Is there nothing to me that's worth quitting for
I need a reason or motivation to quit using drugs and heal.

Isn't your spirit abundant
Isn't God's love and healing power enough to help me?

My fear is redundant
My fear and pain should not control me, especially when there is help available.

I'm numb but I'm done
I am tired of my pain and want to feel better.

Give me freedom please come quick
I am seeking freedom from my pain and need help quickly.

Meet you at your feet and take my seat in Your sonship
I am dedicating myself to God and seeking His guidance and love.

I'm depleted and dumb sick
I am exhausted and in need of healing.

I need healing willing to do anything
I am desperate for healing and will do whatever it takes to get better.

Including not chilling with people I run with
I am willing to make changes to the people I associate with in order to improve my life.

So come with Your comfort Your son's hurt
I am asking God for comfort and love during this difficult time.

Work on me urgently
I need God's help and healing urgently.

Cuz it is absurd how I've turned from Thee
I am acknowledging how foolish it was to turn away from God when I was struggling.

Yeah cuz You're the greatest high I've ever known
The love and healing power of God is greater than any high or drug.

More popping than Vodka and Methadone medizone
God's power and love is more satisfying and healing than any drug out there.

You're more than a Molly You're doper than Duff
God's love and power is more intense and fulfilling than any drug anyone could ever take.

Your Holy Ghost is so potent I'm soaking it up
I am seeking and accepting the healing power of the Holy Ghost.