The band… Read Full Bio ↴Shape of Despair is a funeral doom metal band from Finland.
The band was founded in 1995 as Raven by Jarno Salomaa (guitars, later also keyboards), Tomi Ullgrén (bass, later also guitars) and Toni "Otso" Mäensivu (drums, later also vocals) as a faster, instrumental black metal-isch band following the footsteps of their contemporaries like Strid, Burzum, Darkthrone and Unholy. The trio soon realized that the music they played wasn't as good as they would have wanted, lacking the atmosphere and emotion of the bands that influenced them. They needed to either step up their songwriting game or try something else completely. During the summer of '95 Raven recorded their rehearsals with a simple cassette recorder, capturing all the songs that later became the Alone In The Mist demo, for the first time on tape. After listening to the rehearsal tape and realizing they actually had something in their hands they could stand behind, Raven wanted to record the tracks in a proper studio. It took the band three years to do it. Raven entered Arkki-studio in early '98. They still hadn't tried any vocals until the very last minute, when they decided they wanted to test how the songs would sound with Mäensivu's vocals and were surprised how well they actually fit. The Alone In The Mist demo [1] was not released until 2016, when the band thought it was the proper time to do it. They changed their name in September 1998 to Shape Of Despair. The decision to change the name came down to basically not wanting to be confused with the UK hard rock stalwarts Raven. Obviously, their new moniker fit their new sound better too.
In 2000 they signed a deal with Spikefarm Records and released their debut album Shades of...with Samu Ruotsalainen on drums.
The second album Angels of Distress, released on September 2001, featured Pasi Koskinen on lead vocals. Sami Uusitalo joined up in 2002 to play bass for the third album Illusion's Play. It was released in 2004.
In 2005, the band released a compilation titled Shape of Despair, featuring rare and unreleased material from the group, including tracks from the band's first demo Alone in the Mist and a new song called Sleeping Murder, recorded over a four-day period at Sundicoop Studios in Savonlinna, Finland. After a 5-year lull the band released the EP Written in My Scars and a split EP with Before The Rain.
Their 4th full-length album Monotony Fields was released on June 15, 2015 by Season of Mist.
Curse Life
Shape of Despair Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I used to sense what were
Inside of me
To feel waves of difference
Waves which brought me to live
I enjoyed this life in me
Breathing and feeling
Burning and suffocating
Which gave birth to me
Didn't curse another life
When bearing death inside
Now all things I do bear
Are all gone and free
This, myself
Now fleeing around death
Cursing the hour
And another life
Which whom I used to care
Now
Watching myself
My own life
Fading to afar
Listening these voices
And trying to tell them
That I will soon be gone
(For me... what did you really gave... life...)
In "Curse Life", Shape of Despair explores the concept of the fragility of life and the despair that ensues when one loses their sense of purpose and joy in living. The lyrics speak of a time when the singer was in tune with their own emotions and sensations, enjoying life with all its ups and downs. However, something has changed and the singer no longer feels the same way. Instead, they are consumed by a sense of hopelessness, cursing the gift of life and bemoaning the inevitability of death.
The lyrics also suggest a sense of isolation, as the singer describes watching themselves fade away from afar and listening to the voices of others without being able to truly connect or communicate with them. The final line, "For me... what did you really gave... life...", speaks to a sense of disillusionment with the world and a questioning of the meaning and purpose of life itself.
Overall, "Curse Life" is a hauntingly beautiful meditation on the human condition and the various emotions and experiences that shape our lives.
Line by Line Meaning
I used to feel
I once had emotions and the ability to perceive things
I used to sense what were
I once had the ability to comprehend what was inside of me
Inside of me
Within my being
To feel waves of difference
To experience various emotions to a significant degree
Waves which brought me to live
These emotions gave me a reason for living
I enjoyed this life in me
I took pleasure in my own existence
Breathing and feeling
Inhaling and experiencing emotions
Burning and suffocating
Feeling intense emotions, drowning in them
Didn't curse the hour
Did not blame the time of my birth
Which gave birth to me
The exact moment when I was born
Didn't curse another life
Did not blame someone else's life
When bearing death inside
When carrying the weight of the inevitability of death
Now all things I do bear
Everything I experience now is weighted with despair
Are all gone and free
Everything I once held onto is now lost and freed from me
This, myself
My own identity
Now fleeing around death
Now I am running away from the concept of death
Cursing the hour
Blaming my birth for my current situation
And another life
Someone else's existence
Which whom I used to care
Someone I once held dear
Now watching myself
Observing my own deterioration
My own life
My own existence
Fading to afar
Slowly disappearing in the distance
Listening these voices
Hearing the sounds of the afterlife
And trying to tell them
Attempting to communicate with the dead
That I will soon be gone
That my time of existence is coming to an end
(For me... what did you really gave... life...)
(For me... What did life really grant me...)
Lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: JARNO SALOMAA, NATALIE KOSKINEN, PASI KOSKINEN, SAMI ANTERO UUSITALO, SAMU RUOTSALAINEN, TOMI MIKAEL ULLGREN
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
EDVARD
Curse Life
I used to feel...
I used to sense what were
Inside of me.
To feel waves of difference,
Waves which brought me to live.
I enjoyed this live in me,
Breathing and feeling,
Burning and suffocating.
Didn't curse another life
When bearing death inside.
Now all things i do bear
Are all gone and free.
This, myself...
Now fleeing around death.
Cursing the hour,
And another life...
Which whom i used
To care.
Now...
Watching myself,
My own life
Fading to afar...
Listening thes voices
And trying to tell them
That will soon be gone...
(for me...what did you really gave... life...)
Anže Peternel
Another unproductive Sunday and this music is the only thing that calms my splitting headache and my running mind full of regret...
Anyway, Shape Of Despair helped me so many times in my life already, that I really owe them.
Annabelle C
Totally agree...
Necu rrence
back in 2007 when I first listened the song, it had a very beautiful fanmade video with scenes from fantasy-horror video games (ex. Silent Hill). It was very expressive and profound. How I wish I could see that video again.
Tourettes Orc
TheOniric1 — check link above might be this one
Golz
@Ovidiu Dan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrPzh9KufCI this one?
TheOniric1
Wow... I saw that video and still remember it every time I listen to this masterpiece...
EDVARD
Curse Life
I used to feel...
I used to sense what were
Inside of me.
To feel waves of difference,
Waves which brought me to live.
I enjoyed this live in me,
Breathing and feeling,
Burning and suffocating.
Didn't curse another life
When bearing death inside.
Now all things i do bear
Are all gone and free.
This, myself...
Now fleeing around death.
Cursing the hour,
And another life...
Which whom i used
To care.
Now...
Watching myself,
My own life
Fading to afar...
Listening thes voices
And trying to tell them
That will soon be gone...
(for me...what did you really gave... life...)
JustinOsbo
I really like this alot. this helps me sleep because of the dark images it sends. This is more than just true music it's true talent
Fida' Mohammad
it makes me feel like I'm just a walking corpse... fucking love it
E_ Gunes
definitely the best song of the awesome album....