White
Shelley & Barry Phillips Lyrics

The band director cheated on his wife
The leader of the school music group betrayed his spouse

With the first chair clarinet
He had an affair with the top musician who plays a woodwind instrument

So her boyfriend blacked his eye
As a result, her partner punched him and caused a black eye

Missed the district tournament
And because of this, he wasn't able to join the competitive event in the area

And I heard at the nail salon
While at the beauty parlor, I overheard

Preacher Paul likes to wear a dress
That the religious leader Paul prefers to wear clothing usually associated with females

And half the soccer moms
And a significant percentage of the mothers whose kids play football

Are hooked on Percocet or speed, or weed
Have become addicted to prescription painkillers, amphetamines, or marijuana

But it's all white picket fences
Despite these issues, the image we present is one of a peaceful, prosperous neighbourhood

It's all pink and purple pansies
Where flowers of these colours abound, and everything looks beautiful and perfect

It's the face of small town grace
It's the facade of a charming and polite community

The perfect place to raise a family
An exemplary location to bring up children

We're all scandal, we're all scripture
We are all subject to controversy and trouble, as well as religious teachings

We're all smiling for the picture
Everyone is pretending to be happy for the sake of appearances

That city's full of sin
The nearby metropolitan area is replete with immoral behaviour

Pollution and pedophiles
There are contaminants in the air and individuals who sexually exploit children

Hookers, thugs and heroin
There are sex workers, criminals, and heroin addicts

Thank God it's 60 miles
Fortunately, it's a good distance away from us

All white picket fences
Nonetheless, we still choose to present ourselves as a peaceful, thriving community

It's all pink and purple pansies
Where everything looks pretty and perfect

It's the face of small town grace
We continue to uphold a facade of being courteous and refined despite the issues surrounding us

The perfect place to raise a family
The ideal location to raise children

We're all scandal, we're all scripture
Everyone is susceptible to scandal as well as religious teachings

We're all smiling for the picture
People are putting on a happy face to maintain the desired image of the locality

And we paint 'em twice a year
Moreover, we repaint the fences twice annually

So the dirt'll disappear
To make them look cleaner and more polished

You won't catch us startin' gossip
Although we won't gossip or spread rumours ourselves

Oh, but we won't try to stop it
We won't discourage others from doing it, though

Population is never changin'
The demographics of the town remain constant

The only place I'd raise a family
This is the ideal location for me to bring up my children

We're all waves and we're all whispers
We are all occasionally conspicuous and at other times subtle

We're all posin' for the picture
We all pretend to present a particular image to the outside world

Oh, it's all right cause
Despite everything, it's still acceptable and comfortable here

It's all white picket fences
We will continue to uphold the image of a perfect, peaceful community