A Trophy Father's Trophy Son
Sleeping with Sirens Lyrics
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Its been hell not having you here
I've been missing you so bad
And you don't seem to care
When I go to sleep at night, you're not there
When I go to sleep at night, do you care?
Do you even miss us?
I need to know, I need to know
Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it ends?
I will try to understand
Father, father, tell me where are you now?
Its been hell not having you
Last thing I heard, you were fed up, you're skipping town
With no note telling where
When I go to sleep at night, you're not there
When I go to sleep at night, do you care?
I need to know, I need to know
Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it ends?
I will try to understand
Why are you running away?
I don't understand this, is this how it ends?
Why are you running away?
Tell me please, tell me please, I need to know
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
It's been seven years wishing that you'd drop a line
But I carry the thought along with you in my mind
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Family
Why are you walking away?
Was it something I did?
Did I make a mistake cause
I'm trying to deal with the pain
I don't understand this, is this how it ends?
Why are you running away?
I don't understand this, is this how it ends?
Why are you running away?
Tell me please, tell me please, I need to know
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
Is this what you call a family?
The lyrics to Sleeping with Sirens' "A Trophy Father's Trophy Son" portray a son's sorrow and anger towards his father's absence in his life. The son questions why his father left and whether he ever cared about his family. He wonders if he made a mistake that caused his father to leave and expresses desperation to understand why his father chose to walk away. The son also expresses his sadness in spending seven years without a word from his father, carrying the thought of him around but with no way to reconcile their relationship. He ends the song by asking his father if this is what he calls a family, questioning the value his father placed on their relationship.
The lyrics are a poignant commentary on the impact an absent parent can have on a child's life. The son is left with feelings of abandonment, confusion, and a sense of loss that are affecting him deeply. The song questions what a family is, and the importance of being present and showing up for those who rely on you. It decries a society that, at times, places more value on material or external success than on love and relationships.
The song's raw, emotional lyrics and powerful message make it an anthem for anyone who has experienced the pain and loss of an absent parent or broken family. The vulnerability and honesty in the lyrics allow the listener to connect with the emotions being expressed and offer hope for those who may be struggling with similar situations.
Line by Line Meaning
Father, father, tell me where have you been?
Addressing the absence of father in his life and asking for an answer
Its been hell not having you here
Describing how painful it was for him to not have his father around
I've been missing you so bad
Expressing how much he missed his father
And you don't seem to care
Feeling neglected and ignored by father
When I go to sleep at night, you're not there
Not feeling the presence of his father even in dreams
When I go to sleep at night, do you care?
Questioning father whether he cares enough to appear even in dreams
Do you even miss us?
Inquiring whether father misses his family
Your bottles and mistress
Referring to father's alcohol and other woman in his life
I need to know, I need to know
Emphasizing the importance of knowing why father is leaving
Why are you walking away?
Asking father the reason for leaving his family behind
Was it something I did?
Feeling guilt and responsibility for father leaving
Did I make a mistake cause
Thinking that his actions might have caused father's actions
I'm trying to deal with the pain
Struggling to cope with the emotional trauma of father's abandonment
I don't understand this, is this how it ends?
Finding it hard to comprehend why father would leave and whether it's the end
Father, father, tell me where are you now?
Asking for an update on father's whereabouts
Last thing I heard, you were fed up, you're skipping town
Sharing the last thing he knows about father's decision to leave
With no note telling where
Feeling lost and perplexed without any explanation from father himself
I need to know, I need to know
Repeating the importance of getting answers
Why are you running away?
Asking why father is fleeing instead of facing his problems
Tell me please, tell me please, I need to know
Continuing to implore father for an explanation
Is this what you call a family?
Questioning the authenticity and value of the family he grew up with
It's been seven years wishing that you'd drop a line
Revealing how long he's been waiting for father's communication
But I carry the thought along with you in my mind
Acknowledging that even after all these years, father still has a place in his thoughts
Family
Summing up the central theme of the song - the brokenness of family and father's abandonment
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: Jack Fowler, Jesse Lawson, Justin Hills, Kellin Bostwick, William Barham
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@averydembicki5482
This song was written with so much emotion. You can tell that Kellin takes time and effort .. he pours his heart and soul into these songs.. This is one of my favourites.. God bless everyone. I care... others care..
Broken Family.. does not mean Broken Life...
We care..
The SWS fanbase.. we care.
@TessaEmilyMarie
Every time I hear this song I automatically change it out with "Mother." My mom abandoned me when I was five, gave me up to my dad without any real explanation - left her five year old daughter with an abusive father who was never home 4 pm(school ending time) to 12 (I'd be asleep) I had to grow up alone, care for myself, feed myself, brush my own hair. I would go to sleep, and she wasn't there. Left no note as to where she was. I ignored it up until I was 12, I really didn't understand that I was supposed to have a mother because she was never there. She came back into my life at 12, because it rang back to her that I had become depressed and had cut myself and attempted suicide, alas, she only came to abandon me again. I remember when she found out all she said was "You're not depressed. You're just emo."- I had disclosed to her previously that word seriously triggered me because it was one of my schools go to words for bullying me which is what lead to my suicide. Always, "Tess is so fucking emo, that's the emo chick!" I remember at a couple points people would RUN up to me GRAB my arm and a newcomer and force me to show my cuts, "look at her, so gross! what the fuck is wrong with her!" "she's emo." I remember walking through the halls with the sneers and "that's the emo chick" among MUCH other things, but this was a personal word that seriously brought back memories. I let her in and told her this. She said it anyway. That was her first time actually in my life.
It was my birthday. (13 now)
I remember all she said before that was, you smell weird, you look weird, your eyebrows are off, you're gaining weight. you need to lose weight. you're wearing too much makeup. all these things I was SO insecure about and already severely bullied for - and she knew I was - she made solid. My own "mother." Maybe I'd be good intention and I could take it if I knew she loved me, if this wasn't ALL she said to me, if she hadn't of already walked out on me for 9 years and DIDN'T KNOW ME AT ALL.
It seems she came back into my life just to rub it into my face that she was gone, try a bit, and then reprimand me, hurt me deeply, and disappear again once things got to hard. She couldn't deal with MY depression, yeah, she can't deal with it? How does she think I feel actually being the one GOING THROUGH IT.
The worst part is that she was NEVER there for me as a child, NEVER knew me and had NO right to call herself my mom. She only even came to me throughout those years so I could babysit the children she actually cared about. I remember I think at about 13, It got out that my father was abusive so I lost my home to sleep, and she took me in. Nice right? No. She took me in for a week and then kicked me out because I was too depressed, complained that all I did was "sleep on the couch." and I was a failure and "wasn't helping out with the kids" That's not why I was supposed to be there. I was there because I didn't have a home, I thought, well no, she just needed me for a maid and then she then kicked me out when she realized I couldn't be one, cause I seriously thought she did it because she loved me. She then forced me to go live with my sister who also kicked me out when I had an episode. Back to an abusive father.
I remember that same year of being 12, when I orginally attempted, I landed myself in the hospital and she, this BITCH that didn't know me, didn't even know my favorite colour - thought it was purple - her favorite colour (I fucking HATE purple) had no clue who I was or what I'd been through, left me 9 years, this lady who wasn't my mom, but a biological mother had the nerve when I was depressed and suicidal to tell the hospital staff I was "lying" and she "knew me" and I "wasn't depressed" and she "never left me." She even had the nerve to blame her leaving on me, "you should've called" I WAS 5-9 when I still remembered you existed, I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO USE A PHONE. Maybe I would have if you would've left a number. Either way, being my biological birth parent and lying about our past the doctors believed her and it made it VERY hard for me to receive ANY help. my diagnoses didn't come till 10 suicide attempts and a year later. As time progressed, I forgave her, because,
"she's your mom! she cares" Each time I let her in, she walked out again. At one point I was in treatment and became aggressively suicidal, she was there and staff asked her to take me to the hospital because I needed to be there and needed to be on suicide watch. Her response?
She got up and walked out the door. She left. I sit crying and withering in pain, in my time of hour, when my LIFE and SAFTEY was on the line, needing her to help me. and she just walked away. Quite literally. I'll never forget the image of being 13 and having her so literally get up and walk out the door. I had trusted her.
I did this a couple more times.
I remember while back I showered her a piece of PERSONAL poetry of mine about a lost love, cutting, and despair, that a stranger liked so much she used it in a poetry slam competition, I knew it was good, I had received so much recognition, I was VERY proud of it. These were my innermost thoughts, too. She had been complaining I "never let her in" (wonder why?) so I took it upon myself at 14 to show her this poem and try to help our relationship. Bare my soul, because she had asked. Her response, under her breath, nod "yeah. it's good." and she threw it on the table.
I vowed never to let her in again.
Don't even get me started on the time she hit me, or when I overdosed and nearly LOST MY LIFE and as I lay dying in a hospital bed and gown profusely vomiting, hallucinating, heart nearing dangerous levels, hooked up to a IV as they just pray I survive, she had the INDECENCY to say nothing but,
"Maybe she deserves it."
I forgave her. I went over to her house, I drank a bit. (ok a lot) I was an alcoholic by definition and rate. I couldn't fucking control myself. She smelled it on my breath, she hit me. I hit back. She slammed me into a glass table and pinned me to a chair, grasping and pressing against me me so tightly and it hurt so much it would leave bruises. This was in front of my nine year old sister. I speak of them simply as "the ones she cared about" but I cared about them too. When I was young she would invite me over, not for her, I never spoke to her once- but to babysits them. I was there for them at 6-8 years old when she went out drinking or decided she didnt want to be a mom anymore. I sang them lullabies and changed their diapers and took them out. I love them, really, and truly dearly in my heart. The boy is now 6. I seriously did love them, I don't like anyone, but these children were like my kids to me.
She banned me from ever stepping into the house again. I was 14. I still haven't spoken to her; and I still haven't seen them.
Now all I can do is finally let go of the notion that I will ever have the mother I wanted and needed so bad a child. Just, a mom. I know now I won't and I must live without one. I cannot change her. I want to, but I can't. I tried. All that's left is to deal with that I will never have my mother for a mom. All that's left is living with the grief of the thing I never had and will never have but wanted so bad. All that's left is to let go of the idea that I will ever have a mom. It's a weird loss, losing something you never had.
Is this what you call a family?
@fenyxlord3872
at 12 this song hit me in the feels
at 21 im still crying
@elmazapan6553
Wtf your sad 😂😂🖕🏼💩
@marcosrattenbury6944
That's 1 long cry
@idiosyncrassy9436
this is too real
@nellya232
The fact that I'm crying not from the song, but from the backstories of commenters' families makes me wonder why parents do this shit. Yes, I've had disagreements with my family, but nothing compared to what a lot of people go through. If anyone is going through a broken family, know that you have someone to talk to (including me) :)
@thebeastnightmare5824
Twenty-Øne Sirens! At the Chemical Discø thank you so much now ima cry :)
@anietytretra7168
Hey thanks for your comment:)
@marcoscarmona6657
I'm here as well for those who have been through a family thing
@metalraccoon2259
Misery loves it's company is why
@ptvbrittany
I was 11 when this song came out, I didn't relate much to it then, but now at 23 i relate to it too much. My father left me and my younger sister in a state with no blood family and ignored us for months while he moved to a new state with a new job. Thankfully the friend we stayed with, her grandma took us in and adopted us. but this song hurts more now, then it did then.