Im Awesome
Spouse Lyrics

Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome...
Repeatedly affirming how amazing one is

I don't necessarily need to be here for this...
Not feeling obligated to be part of whatever is going on

I'm gonna keep the headphones though...
Keeping personal space and time to oneself

Mother fucker I'm awesome!
Boastful expression of self-worth

No you're not, dude don't lie
Someone else questioning the claims of awesomeness

I'm drivin around in my mom's ride
Not having one's own car or means of transportation

A quarter of my life gone by
Quarter of one's life has already passed

And I met all my friends online
Making friends on the internet instead of in person

I will run away from a brawl
Avoiding confrontations or physical altercations

There's no voicemail, nobody called
Feeling unimportant or unpopular

I can't afford to buy eight balls
Lacking the financial resources for expensive indulgences

And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
Conversing with oneself on social media

You know my pants sag low (low)
Wearing clothes that are not fashionable or trendy

Even though (though) that went out of style
Not caring about following fashion trends

Spose, I got the swagger of a cripple
Having a lack of confidence or self-assurance

I got little biceps,
Not having a strong or muscular physique

Getting fatter in the middle
Gaining weight or being out of shape

And lyrically I'm not the best :)
Admitting to not being the most talented or skilled

Physically the opposite of Randy Moss and yet
Having physical attributes that are not desirable

So preposterous
Outrageous or ridiculous

Feel the awesomeness, the most obnoxious
Being obnoxiously self-confident

Guest up at the sausage fest
Being in a predominantly male environment or gathering

Oh yes!
Imagining oneself as desirable to others

The girls are repulsed
Being unattractive or unappealing to the opposite sex

So I hide in my hood like i'm joining a cult
Feeling self-conscious and avoiding attention

I'm as nervous as my cat Ol' Dirty Curtis
Being anxious or scared

All my writtens are bitten and
Being accused of plagiarism

All my verses are purchased
Having to pay for other people's writing

Me? I'll never date an actress
Feeling unworthy of being with someone famous or successful

Got too many back zits
Having acne or other skin problems

Plus my whole home aroma is cat piss
Having an unpleasant or unclean living environment

Every show i do is poorly promoted and if you like this,
Having a lack of exposure or marketing for one's work

It's cuz my little sister wrote it
Being criticized for not being a good writer

And my unibrow is plucked
Being self-conscious about one's appearance

Just asked my mom if I could borrow ten bucks
Being dependent on others for financial support

She's like "For what?
Being questioned by a caregiver about the purpose of a request for money

Blunt wraps and some Heineken?
Spending money on recreational substances

You skinny prick, go get a gym membership and vitamins!"
Being insulted by a caregiver about one's health and appearance

I'm like, Mom please, don't blame it on me
Being defensive when criticized

I got my bad habits from you, Dad, and Aunt Steve
Feeling that negative behavior is learned from family members

My attitude's sour but my futon's sweet,
Having comfortable living arrangements despite negative qualities

And the hair on my ass, it is Jumanji
Having unattractive body hair

Suit untailored, ringtone Taylor Swift
Lacking fashion sense or style

Can't tweet up on my Twitter
Being inactive or unpopular on social media

Cuz I haven't done shit
Not having achieved anything of note or value

Bank account red, body ungroomed
Being financially and physically unattractive

The only thing good about me is I'm off stage soon
Realizing that there is no appeal beyond a scheduled performance

Futhermore I'm cornier than Ethynol
Having a lack of sophistication or intelligence

Cheesier than Provolone
Being unoriginal or clichéd

I spent ages eight to ten living in a motor home
Having a difficult childhood or lack of stability

With a ego the size of Tim Duncan
Having a large, unwarranted sense of self-importance

Even though I got shit for brains like a blumpkin
Being stupid or unintelligent

I'm twenty four, serving lobster rolls
Being in a menial or low-paying job despite one's age

Because I spent a decade filling optimos
Being unemployed or working in a low-skilled job

And I'm not even the bomb in Maine
Not being successful or popular in one's community

On my game I'm only about as sexy as John McCain
Having an unappealing or out of touch persona

Now put your hands up,
Encouraging audience participation

If you have nightmares
Asking for those with insecurities to identify themselves

If you wouldn't man up if there was a fight here
Admitting to being cowardly or non-confrontational

If you got dandruff, if you drink light beer
Being self-conscious about personal hygiene or drinking preferences

I'm outta breath...
Ending with a statement of exhaustion or defeat